Today I'm giving thanks… for Christmas :o)

I went along to the Britmums Xmas do on Monday which I was very excited about as I don't have a work do any more what with not having a job right now. It was a great chance to catch up with some bloggers I know and to meet a lot of others who I don't know. The room was absolutely crammed with goodies and I have to admit that I did wonder how I'd find any room for fruit cake and mince pies so early on a Monday, but I did manage a mini mince pie and a chilled glass of very nice white wine too.

Morrisons provided the food and drinks and Neil Nugent who is one of the chefs there talked us through some of the most common errors that people make when preparing Christmas food. I took away these top tips:

• Never use foil on the turkey - it steams it and causes overcooking and dryness.
• Pick up the turkey by it's legs and shake them to relax it. I say this as a vegetarian - honestly, I'm not making it up - it means the heat will distribute more evenly round the bird.
• When making roast potatoes use Maris Pipers and don't boil the spuds, just simmer them so that you don't have mushy roasties.
• You can prepare all the veg before the big day and keep it in the fridge or freezer (according to Neil the freezer is a chef's best friend !)

The festive feel of the morning was helped by some little ones who were running around entertaining us. My favourite was a toddler wearing a santa hat who kept stealing the limelight from Jen and Neil when they were speaking. I hadn't been feeling too Christmassy before this event, but I've since booked my boy in to have breakfast with Father Christmas, he's going to a meet Santa event and we're going to see Reindeer and hopefully go on a husky sled ride too. The tree will be going up on Sunday and I've got far too many advent calendars !

I came away from the do with a stash of goodies including a chocolate Rudolph cake complete with chocolate antlers. My son loved the decorate your own gingerbread trees and the mini sponge cakes in Santa, reindeer and snowman shapes are a lovely alternative to fruit cake.

I was really surprised and inspired by the range on offer and will definitely be checking out the Christmas goodies in our local Morrisons.

Thanks Britmums for such a fab event :o)

Do something amazing and save a life

I'm always banging on about blood donation and how important it is, but to show you how easy and non-scary it is I thought I'd take some pics while I was giving blood this evening. Honestly it's really simple to book, you can do it online and there are sessions all over including in local church halls and some workplaces too. I went to a local church where they have a regular session every few months.

When you arrive you will be greeted and asked to read a booklet explaining what happens and what the restrictions are on giving blood - this can also be checked online to save a wasted journey. If you are at all nervous or if it's your first donation this is the time to say so as they will make sure you are taken care of and that you're not put off. I am not a fan of needles, but they are very professional staff who make it as painless and simple as possible.  Once you're booked in you will be asked to wait so bring a book in case it's busy.






You will be called up to have a pinprick test which will determine if you are able to donate blood during your visit. If not they will explain why and you may be referred to your GP for further tests to ensure you are well. Otherwise you will be directed to wait until called up.

While waiting you should drink plenty of water to help the blood flow - it is a good idea to stay well hydrated during the day before you attend a session too.








When there is a free chair the donor carer will call you over and prepare your arm and make sure you are comfortable. The chair lies back flat and you can pretty much relax while it all goes on - this evening my donation took under 5 minutes so it's not a long process at all. They will ask you to sit and rest before you go so that there is no risk of you fainting and if they are in any way concerned about you they will make you wait until you are fully well before leaving.

Now the best bit of donating - the tea and biscuits !! The only time I eat full fat crisps is after I give blood and it's kind of medicinal so I don't feel bad about it at all. You can also book your next appointment while you are having a drink and snack so that you don't have to think about it. They will send you a letter of confirmation by post so it couldn't be simpler.


I go on about giving blood because so many people who could donate don't. Blood stocks run low at this time of year, but the need does not so the blood transfusion service really do appreciate every donation. It took under an hour for me to donate this evening so time is no excuse.

My boy got this lovely sticker. I want him to grow up knowing how important it is to do something that could save a life.

If you would like to find out more or to find a local donor session please go to www.blood.co.uk

Thank you :o) 

We were going out to dinner...

...so I was choosing some earrings to wear that would look pretty, but not get stuck in my hair or fall out of my ears (this happens frequently). We'd arranged to meet at the restaurant - well calling it a restaurant is a bit much as the service is pretty lax and the food variable at best, but it's local and serves the kind of italian food you know you'll enjoy anyway.

The first time we'd eaten there I'd asked for the gnocchi and they said it wasn't available that evening. A few days later Hubbie (then boyfriend) was making me some dinner at his flat. He made gnocchi because, "I wanted to make you happy." It was a pretty foregone conclusion that we'd be married after that. We still went to the restaurant every week despite them forgetting our starters, regularly having only two thirds of the menu available and occasionally just not remembering we were even there. It's safe to say it wasn't the busiest place in Battersea.

After only a year of being married we were still holding on to the romantic rituals and habits that we had started when we were first courting. The regular meals out, the walks along the river on a Sunday, city breaks and holidays during school term time. Ah the bliss of the childless. Not that we didn't want children of course, we just hadn't had them yet and it was only a matter of time.

We had been trying since before the wedding and while we hadn't expected to get the jackpot honeymoon baby we were just wondering if there was something going on that we should know about. In fact we both went to see our respective GPs to check that all was ok with us and had various blood tests, which for a man who hates the sight of blood was a bit of a trial really. Hubbie was going to see his doctor after work for his results then coming to join me for dinner.

I put on lip gloss and mascara and checked my reflection for any smudges. A whole day at work can do weird things to a face and no amount of candlelight can disguise it, so I was relying on the magical power of make-up to give the illusion of natural beauty. I heard the double beep of a text message coming through. As I picked up my coat and went to the door I glanced at the screen. "I'm finished here. See you in ten xx"

As I walked I saw the evening runners in Battersea Park wearing reflective gear, bobbing along like fireflies. It was one of my favourite places to run too and I loved living so close that I could go there before work. I had encouraged Hubbie to run with me and he'd become quite a keen runner himself. He was even training for the Windsor half marathon.

By the time I got the restaurant he was already standing outside and he smiled as he caught sight of me. He held the door open for me and I joked that I hoped he'd had a snack on the way just in case. We sat at a table by the window - a mistake, they never see you sitting there, but you can watch everyone else walk past. I asked if he'd had a nice day and he smiled again. The waitress came over and took our drinks orders. My coat fell off the back of my chair so I went to retrieve it from the floor and realised I hadn't asked and he hadn't told me. "What did the doctor say ?" "Oh not a lot really." "Ok, good or bad news then ?" I laughed a little, he didn't. "He says it's highly unlikely we can have children." The waitress came back with our drinks. She asked if we were ready to order yet. We both shook our heads.

Now I looked a little closer I could see behind his glasses that his eyes were red. He still had his coat on and he hadn't looked at me since we sat down in the restaurant. I reached out to put my hand over his on the table. After some time he said, "What do you want to do ?" After a bit more time I said, "Well I'm going to order the gnocchi." We both smiled, he took off his coat and we raised our glasses to each other.

This post is my entry for the Mumsnet Blogfest competition using Lionel Shriver's favourite first line from a book. 
Fingers crossed :o) 

Why my boy is like a tiny Russell Brand

It's been a difficult few days with my boy. His tantrums and moods have been almost constant. He pretends not to hear me and turns his back when he doesn't want to do something. He shouts and yells and runs off. He pushes me to the end of my tether (which is unsurprisingly short right now) and then looks really hurt when I am upset with him.

Then on Thursday we went to see my sister for her birthday. I was really worried about how he'd behave as he'd been horrific that morning and by the time we got to my Mum's house he hadn't improved any at all. I was so tired out that I left them to observe his 'naughty day' and didn't say anything to him and let them do all the repetitive instructions, 'don't touch that, put that down, etc.' Then my other sister invited us to come to the theatre where she works to watch Room on the Broom based on the book by Julia Donaldson. I've always said that I wasn't sure he'd have the concentration to sit through a show so we've not taken him, but this time I had my Mum and both my sisters to help keep him in check so I thought I'd risk it.

We made it just in time for the show, found our seats near the stage and he sat in his seat with his legs folded and his beloved bear clutched to him. Then it started and the actors were talking to the audience and he interacted. When they imagined a witch flying overhead he looked up. When an actress asked who'd like to try some of her porridge his hand flew into the air and he mimed catching it, eating and said it was "yummy." My boy was a delight and he was singing the songs in the car on the way home.

Then yesterday and today he was back to his belligerent self and I just shook my head and gave up. This morning he woke up yelling at 4am and I went in to check on him. He went back to sleep and so did I. Then at 6am Hubbie woke up yelling, so I tried to work out what was wrong with him too, he went back to sleep, I sort of did too. I was glad I had plans without them today. I needed to be away from them both just for a few hours and Hubbie always takes him out on a Saturday anyway so I didn't feel too guilty.

Tonight the boy was erratic and tearful at bedtime, he ran off and went up and down the stairs and I was so fed up with it all that I said I wasn't going to have our sitting in the chair bedtime chat tonight. He said that was fine. Then a few minutes ago - after we'd finished watching Dr Who we heard some squealing from the monitor. I turned the sound on the TV down and it was the boy crying and calling, "Mumma." I took a deep breath and went upstairs to see what new antics these were.

When I got to his room he was standing on his bed shaking and crying and clutching two bears really tightly to himself. I held him and managed to prise one of the bears from him and held him close and asked if he'd had a bad dream. Eventually I calmed him down and sat with him in my arms singing softly until he'd stopped shaking and was ready to go back to bed by himself. I recalled how I'd had a nightmare the other night that left me shaken and confused - I'm 43, he's only 3.

So however hard I'm finding his emotional outbursts or his seeming belligerance I have to remember he's only 3. I also have to remember how amazing it felt to watch his imagination in full flight in the theatre the other day. I have to remember what Russell Brand said about the death threats he received when he was planning to do some comedy gigs in the Middle East, "I'm just trying my hardest."

When I find my boy wearing or taxing or just a bit too much I'm going to think of him as a tiny Russell Brand. At times he's unpredictable, his hair looks crazy, but he smiles a cheeky smile and wins over a lot of people. He's just trying his hardest.

I draw the line at him wearing snakeskin boots and skinny jeans though. Oh, and the public nudity. 

Some children you never forget

I've been thinking about some very special children recently.

In Romania:

Bobby the Roma child who was in the street one night when a woman I know asked him if he'd eaten and when he said he and his sisters and brothers had no food at home she gave him some money. As she went about her shopping she was aware that he was carefully choosing bread, fruit and milk to feed his family. She came outside to find Bobby waiting there and she asked why he hadn't gone home yet - he held out his hand to her. "I had to give you your change."

The three Romanian children who had seen their youngest sibling killed in an institution from which they were adopted. The family who adopted them decided to have them baptised and after the service they spoke for the first time about what had happened to their brother and disclosed that it had been a member of staff who had been responsible. When they were all in a cab going home to their adoptive family the oldest child told the social worker that they had had a lovely time and to thank the kind people for taking care of them. They thought they were being sent back for speaking up about the murder.

Gaby who was adopted at 18 months and her adopted parents thought she had no memories of the orphanage until they took her to visit the children's centre. As soon as she saw the white tiled floor she began screaming and fitting as she thought it was the orphanage and she was being taken back there. Her parents never took here there again.

In Sierra Leone: 

The boy who witnessed his entire family being macheted to death by rebels who left him for dead in a pool of his own blood. He was rescued barely alive and now has gouges in his back where they hacked at his body too. He is a humble, quiet young man who bears no malice towards those who left him orphaned and who is making a future for himself without any family at all.

Visiting a refugee camp where children came up to tell us they had been soldiers. They were now going to school and being fed and were no longer given drugs or abused in order to get them to take orders from young men no older than them. A child aged no more than ten who could assemble an automatic weapon in the time it takes to boil a kettle.

In the UK:

The boy who came to school in dirty and smelly clothes and unfed most days. Teachers would bring clothes for him and his siblings to wear and soap for them to wash with at school as well as bringing in food for them to eat - this was before breakfast clubs in schools were in existence.

The three children who we were asked to consider for adoption. Twins under a year old and a sister aged 2 and a half who had learning difficulties. I still lose sleep worrying about whether they were split up in order to find a suitable family for all of them.

All of these children are real. They have all left an impression on me and I still think about them. Not every day, but sometimes the feelings I had when I met them come flooding back. I have met a lot of children whose lives have been difficult. Children who have seen more pain and violence than anyone should ever see. Some make it through and grow to become adults who don't let the pain of their early lives define them. Some don't make it.

When I think about them I hope that they are living happy lives and that they are loved.  

Personal Planner review and giveaway

Now I'm not working I don't have meetings and appointments to keep a note of, but I do already have something in the diary for Nov next year (as it's a birthday pressie for Hubbie I can only tap the side of my nose at this point - sorry). This is a bit organised even for me, but I am a big fan of paper diaries and keeping a note of my 'to do' lists where I can see them - even if I don't tick anything off !

I also record how far I've swum or and how long I've been running for - it's supposed to help with motivation apparently. Also I've signed up to do the half Moonwalk for Breast Cancer in May so I need to remind myself how far away - or close - it is !! Occasionally I'll also keep a note of social events like meeting a friend for afternoon tea or something even more momentous like a holiday - no such luck so far on this one sadly.

Usually I plod round the shops looking for a suitable diary and end up with something temporary only to have to buy another one a month later. Thanks to the lovely folks at Personal Planner I chose a personal planner that was custom made for me from the front cover - which you can personalise with your own image - to the individual pages. I was able to pick all the sections and the layout of the pages so I don't have random bits that I never use and I can record things like my list of jobs for the day and if I've done any exercise or not. The hope is that if I have to put it into my planner I will be more likely to actually make time to go for a swim or a run - let's see shall we ?

The pages have plenty of room to record what I want to be reminded of and there's even a calendar so I can plan ahead. It's the kind of diary and planner that I need and I designed it myself.

Every year I have a trauma finding the right diary for me. In the past I've tried the larger ones with fabulous photos, but they were far too big for my handbag and I ended up replacing them with a small handbag diary that was functional, but not all that nice to look at. You can choose all the accessories too like the ruler that I have inside mine to mark the pages and in case I need to measure something - well you never know do you ?

The best thing about the personal planner is that I know it's suitable for my needs. I chose a design that is compact enough for my handbag and that has all the prompts I need for my life. You can have a look at the full range at the Personal Planner Website

The Giveaway:

Well actually the best thing is that you could win one of these beauties for yourself.  WOO HOO !! The lucky winner of this giveaway can choose a planner in any size and design and it will be sent to you postage free - in around two weeks - so in time for the New Year if you are quick enough !

How to enter: 

All you have to do is leave me a comment about what helps you to plan.
If you tweet about the giveaway too that would be lovely and you can have an extra entry into the draw. My twitter handle is @swazirodgers and the personal planner one is @pplannerUK.

Closing date: 

I'll get my boy to pick a name at random from a Santa themed hat on the closing date of Fri 13th Dec at midday - lucky for someone.

Good luck !!

Disclosure: I received a free personal planner code as part of my goodie bag at Britmums Live this year. I have not been paid for this review, but have been provided with a prize to giveaway to a reader. 

Attachment parenting: I swear by it.

I'm not going to get into it about the Peaches vs Hopkins TV 'debate' on attachment parenting. I didn't follow it and neither woman is a parenting role model I'm about to emulate. I am all for attachment though and was listening to Oliver James talking about lovebombing on Radio 4 yesterday afternoon. As a result today has been spent loafing around and doing as little or as much as my toddler wants to do. You see I like the idea of responding to what my child is interested in, but I'm not about to advocate my skills as a parent above anyone else's. I'm doing my best and I sometimes over-do it or get it wrong. Mostly I am just glad that he's a happy child and that he loves us. 

If anything I've probably been over-attached. I never left my son alone at all when he was first born. I would shower while Hubbie was home either in the evening or stupidly early in the morning. I honestly thought that if I left my baby for longer than it takes to make a cup of tea he was going to roll over (which he'd never done) or stop breathing (he's still here).  Of course I do still check on him - old habits and all that - but now I stay in bed rather than shower at 6am. That's hardly tiger mama behaviour is it ? 

As he's a toddler now I do go and shower and leave him to his own devices (watching telly, creating a 'traffic jam' with his toy cars or playing with the hands free soap dispenser if I've forgotten to put it high up) for around 5-10 minutes. I do have to keep calling every 30 seconds to check he's still in the house though as he can't be trusted not to open the door if someone knocks. Grandma was babysitting on Halloween night and as she is quite hard of hearing he heard the door knock and went to answer it - only to be confronted with two rather terrifying teenage boys in masks. They didn't get any sweets, but the boy got a proper scare !!

The other night Hubbie opened a belated birthday card he'd received that had been sent to the wrong house with the wrong age on it. He affectionately called the sender a nob - supposedly out of earshot of our boy - only for the boy to start saying 'nob, nob, nob, nob' in a sing song voice. I gave Hubbie my 'silly boy' head shake and he responded with, "actually, he may have heard that before in the car driving to football." I suppose it could be worse. I'm not sure how though.

Up until now my son's idea of bad language has been to point at me and say 'Oh. Dear.' forcefully as that is what he thinks swearing is. We're also working on discouraging the 'toilet talk' which he loves right now. As an example.
Me: "What did you do at nursery today little bear ?"
Toddler: "Bum Bum."
Me: "I don't think you did. What did you have for lunch ?"
Toddler: "Poo Poo."
Me: "Ok that's enough toilet talk for today."
Toddler: "Wee Wee."
Me: <sigh>

I'm not expecting a call from anyone asking me to share my parenting secrets any time soon. I am, however, expecting to be embarrassed by my son's vocabulary some time in the near future. 

When If he calls Santa a Nob Poo Poo I'll look around pretending he's not with me, but that's when all my attachment parenting will come back and bite me in the 'bum bum.'