Lily O'Brien's new Desserts Collection (shh, don't tell the boys).

Considering the name of this blog you would be surprised how few offers I get to review chocolate. In fact almost none. So when I was asked if I'd like to try the new Lily O'Brien's Dessert Collection I pretty much leapt to the keys to say "Yes please !" I first tried Lily O'Brien's in Dublin when Hubbie and I went for a long weekend. We went to a posh cafe for coffee (tea in my case) and some luxury chocolates. I savoured mine and even left half of each for him to try. He polished his chocolates off and looked very sheepish when I offered him mine to try. I still mention it occasionally - no that's not fair. It's not occasionally, I mention it often. 

With Mother-in-law and my Mum having birthdays close together we often get the similar presents - they like the same things anyway. Fancy chocolates are a popular choice of gift from the boys and we sometimes buy Lily O'Brien's chocolates from Waitrose. The new range - launched this month - is inspired by popular and much loved dessert recipes including Banoffee Pie, Hazelnut Torte, Key Lime Pie and Creme Brulee. I loved the passion fruit posset, raspberry infusion and key lime - I'm pretty sure they count towards your five a day too. Ok maybe not so much. I'm not a hazelnut fan so Hubbie can have those, but as petit fours these would work really well. Each one is a big flavour hit in a scrumptious mouthful and if I'm being honest far too nice to share. I'm not sure they'd make it as far as being a gift as I'd end up eating them. 

I loved Lily O'Brien's chocolates before and this collection just makes me love them even more. I've already hidden these from my lot so I can enjoy them all by myself. It's not like Hubbie would have shared them wtih me anyway is it ? See I told you I mention it all the time. 

Disclosure: the lovely folks at Lily O'Brien's sent me these scrumptious luxury chocolates to review. 

My secret life as the Easter Bunny

We don't celebrate Easter as such, we're not Christians so it isn't a religous thing for us at all. However, it does often coincide with the Sikh celebration of Vasaikhi which marks the formation of the Sikh faith. So in that sense we do make a big deal of it.

On the last day of term I organised an Easter egg hunt for all the children in Brown Bear's class with all the mums kindly donating chocolate for the goody bags and controlled chaos while the kids searched for the plastic eggs that were hidden all over the pub garden. It was great fun and they all enjoyed it very much.

Last week I took the bears to Bromley and we went for a nice lunch, played in a fantastic playground in the sunshine and took part in an Easter hunt to find the bunnies hidden in shop windows. It was quite a walk to find them all, but the boys loved it and at the end they got a chocolate egg for their trouble. "Can we eat it now ?" asked Brown Bear, and I said they could as they'd been so good.

Finding a bunny in a shop window 

The next day I took them to Ikea for yet another egg hunt which again was a bit of a trek, with Brown Bear writing down all the answers on his sheet and at the end the boys both got an ice cream cone.

Tonight I've been sorting all the eggs and gifts the boys have been given into separate bags and am astonished at how much they have been given. Our lovely generous families and neighbours have all given them Easter gifts in addition to our own presents for them. Every year we have an egg hunt at home and I hide lots of small eggs around the garden with a big egg at the end. This year they will already have got so much chocolate I'm not sure they can handle any more.

Tomorrow we're surprising the boys and going to a steam railway with another Easter egg hunt. It's the perfect combination of steam trains and chocolate, I can't imagine anything my boys would love more.

Ok, so none of these are especially traditional activities, but they all involve an element of searching for clues, writing things down and a treat at the end. I mention this because rather than just handing them a chocolate or an ice cream - which of course I could do - they are doing something to 'earn' it, working something out or finding things. They get a sense of achievement from taking part and are rewarded with a treat at the end.

A few sweeties for Easter 

Do I spoil my children ? Yes of course I do. It makes up for all the times that I feel incompetent, useless or think I've been overly hard on them.  It's my job to raise my children to be kind, thoughtful, helpful people. It's also my pleasure to make them smile and laugh. To give them the pure joy of having a chocolate or a sweet just because and for them to enjoy it guilt free. I write them notes from the Tooth Fairy, leave them little traces to indicate that Father Christmas has been and pop little secret notes where they can find them from me just to tell them I love them.

Now I have to hide chocolate in the garden and leave clues from the Easter Bunny - shh don't tell anyone. 

Boys, your Daddy really is the best

Watching the washing machine

When we go to the card shops you know those cards that say 'Dad you're the best' or, 'My Daddy is awesome.' Well, they have never been my style and I don't really feel the sentiment in them for myself. I do, however, think you have every reason to give them to your Daddy and here's why:

Daddy is kind, caring and always puts us first - he wants you to be happy. 

Chocolate and cake make him happy beyond belief. Cake made of chocolate is... well, awesome ! 

Spending time with you boys is Daddy's idea of a great time. 

The London Transport Museum is our happy place 

I know how much he wishes he could be there for school assembly every week. So you cannot imagine how he felt last Friday when he saw Big Boy receive a silver star for helping a friend. I know that he was the proudest parent in the room. 

People think I'm the strong one, but I'm not. Daddy is the foundation of our family and he makes us all strong and keeps us safe.

Daddy is the silliest, funniest and cleverest man I know.

Daddy is a very serious man

He makes up songs to amuse you - he's been doing this since before Big Boy was born.

Peppa Pig is his favourite TV show.

There are so many reasons why Daddy is the best, but I can give you my number one reason. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have you two.

Happy Father's Day 

An egg hunt, some tree climbing and an offer we can't refuse :)

Over the Easter weekend we had hoped for warm weather - but not too warm - so that we could do our annual Easter Egg Hunt in the garden. With two boys taking part this year I bought new collecting buckets in fetching yellow and we made an early start to ensure there was plenty of time to eat the finds and to prevent any animal pilferage. As it was a little damp underfoot they put on outdoor shoes and matching hoodies to seek out the tiny chocolate bunnies, the beanie filled eggs and finally the big eggs they all got - yes even Daddy.

In the afternoon the weather was so nice that we decided to take a trip to a local park so with one boy on his scooter and another in the buggy we trotted off down the hill and saw that a lot of other families with children were doing the same - probably also trying to wear off the effects of chocolate overload I imagine ! You may recall my big boy has a thing about climbing trees at the moment so he was delighted when we spotted this massive tree with enormous exposed roots and lovely, crunchy pods underfoot.

The next morning was a lot sunnier so Hubbie kindly took the boys outside to kick around a football so I had the house to myself for a little while. I did nothing more exciting than a bit of washing up and sorting out, but it was much easier - and faster - without the small persons around.

While the boys were outside I heard a jangling sound and I was puzzled what it was. I did wonder if it was a rag and bone call or something similar so I went out the front of the house to look and imagine my surprise when I saw a fire engine a few doors down from us ! My boys love fire engines and I called them to come and see the real life one that was in their road. I have never seen my big boy move as fast as this when I've asked him to do something.

The kind chaps on the engine were checking fire hydrants in our road and they were more than happy to show my boys all the equipment on the fire truck. As a devotee of Fireman Sam my boy asked to see all the axes, tried out a hose and even checked out the ladders. We were invited to pop over to the fire station any time to see more engines so with a few more days of school hols I think we might just take them up on that :)

This post is being shared with the #countrykids linky hosted by the lovely Fiona of Coombe Mill 

  

Life is Sweet

You might remember i gave up sugar, sweets, chocolate, cakes and biscuits in January. I said at the time that it didn't take long for me to notice how sweet everything is when I wasn't eating so much sugary stuff. I decided to stop again in the run up to Easter as I knew it would be a bit of a sugar-fest so I hoped that cutting back beforehand would help me to moderate my intake.

Well, a week before Easter I found a cake mix that I had bought a while back at a cake and bake show that needed to be used so I made this:

It's a toffee sponge with maple icing and pecan nut topping. It is very sweet indeed as there are pieces of toffee in the sponge itself. I managed to control myself and not succumb to it and there is still about half of it left in the fridge. 

Then I decided to check what I had for Easter as I'd been buying things over a period of months. You see I am a border of groceries. I shop like armageddon is imminent. My cupboards are unlikely to be bare any time soon and yet I still buy food items as though the next shopping trip will be my last. 

When I saw all of the chocolate laid out like this I realised that it might be a little over the top. Not least as we are still finishing chocolate we were given at Christmas ! 

So, we finally came to Easter weekend and the boys went on an Easter Egg Hunt in the garden where the Easter Bunny had been hard at work hiding small bunnies and small chocolate eggs for them to find. The rest of the haul was put into baskets and kept for them to dip into over the next few months weeks.

While all this madness was happening we received a parcel in the post. It was this lovely box of Mr Kiplings cakes. I may well struggle to stay away from sugar for a while :) 

Just like honey: resolutions revisited

Come to Mama !!

You know how the new enemy is sugar ? How we keep seeing diet plans encouraging us to 'kick the habit' of sweet stuff ? Even Davina has got in on the act and her latest New Year plan is to ditch sugar in five weeks. Well I've got news for everyone that will save you the money (or you can send it to me - I'll add it to my fundraising total for Comic Relief I promise !)

I've done it.

I've broken my dependence on sugar and no longer crave it.

In a month.

In January I decided to give my body a break from the rubbish I had been filling it with over Christmas. I stopped eating chocolate, puddings, cakes, 'treats' and alcohol. Not for money, not as a precursor to going sober or anything. Just. I did it last year and lost half a stone. This year I also cut back on bread and started making green smoothies in the morning which has been a whole other journey. In the mornings I've been blending up banana, spinach, avocado, coconut water, chia seeds and random fruit and drinking them on my way to work. I'm not sure if they've had any miraculous effects on my health, but I'm pretty sure it's better for me than a latte and a pain au chocolat.

Ok, it doesn't look green, but it actually is :) 

Anyway, I digress. So, I've cut out chocolate before and what I've noticed is that everything tastes far too sweet even a few days after stopping eating sweet stuff. I don't have sugar in my tea or eat cereals and I don't drink fizzy pop or squashes either. I do, however, work in an office were there are always 'treats' around and it's very tempting. I've been out to eat with friends a few times since I started this and I've skipped desert and stuck to water or soft drinks. It's been fine. No one even notices really.

So what happens tomorrow ? Well. I had been telling everyone that I'm going to have a binge on sweets, cakes and biscuits tomorrow and I did buy a nice bottle of wine this evening. Truth is though, I'm not sure I'll want to stuff myself now I'm out of the habit. I'm now used to stopping to think about what I'm going to eat and considering whether or not I'm hungry or just bored.

The greatest breakfast there is. 

I'm not saying I'll be blending green smoothies every day of the week or that I'll eschew french pastries in favour of porridge when I'm getting into work at some unearthly hour. What I will do is try and maintain some of the momentum I've gained from ditching the unhealthy food. So there's that.

Now where did I put that bag of giant chocolate buttons ?

My imaginary family (and other first world problems)

I have a lot more than this 

Talk to anyone who has known me for a few years and they will tell you about my compulsive shoe and handbag habit. Neil will tell you how at Uni I was invited to most concerts because I was the only one who had a credit card to pay for gig tickets. This is the only explanation I can (or will) offer for having been to see Clannad. Bee will tell you how I own more coats than it is possible to wear - I know this because when we were watching Buffy once I mentioned that she had a different coat on every night and Bee said the words, "Pot, Kettle, Black." SJ will tell you I have accessories ranging from belts and bangles to perky hats and pashminas. I might not remember what day it is, but I will be damned if I'm going out uncoordinated.

I mention these oddities as my evil capitalist ways have been curbed in recent years, due to a combination of reduction in income and changed priorities. Yes I know being a stay at home parent is reward enough - blah, blah, blah - and I genuinely do prefer to buy things for my son and Hubbie. However I appear to have swapped one overindulgent habit for another. It became apparent to me as I found myself picking up far too many Easter gifts yesterday - I can't say any more than that as Hubbie does read this and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Hot Cross buns a-go-go

You see there are three of us and yet I grocery shop like the apocalypse is imminent. At Christmas I bought 4 Christmas puddings - 4 !! Our boy doesn't even eat Christmas pudding and we still have two of them. I've just stopped myself from buying a bumper pack of Easter eggs from Thorntons - I've already bought enough for all of us and all our siblings. In the supermarket the other day I bought up one of every type of Easter cake for a 'special Easter afternoon tea' and we currently have four flavours of hot cross buns at home. I reiterate, there are three of us.

Don't panic though, I think I've worked it out. I'm shopping for my imaginary family. I know, I know. Bear with me here. I'm one of four siblings, my father is too and my mother is one of five. Hubbie has one brother and we have one son. I always thought I'd have a pretty big family. I wanted to have four and Hubbie was kind of ok with two. Before we had our boy we were approved to adopt two children and at one point were asked to consider three children - a toddler and younger twins - so we would have been a pretty big family overnight.

As it is we have one child and he is gorgeous and we adore him. However, we had thought we'd have more and part of me clearly hasn't let that go. In my head I was supposed to have a brood of kids and I'm clearly shopping for them. That's why I have enough cakes to sink a small fleet, a freezer filled with mini twister lollies and enough straws to build a replica Eiffel Tower.

I saw someone this afternoon who I haven't seen for a few years. She asked me if I'd had any luck in falling pregnant again and I told her I had been and it hadn't worked out. She said, "Oh well at least you've got little one." Of course I have and he's not a consolation prize. She's not the only one to remind me that our family is incomplete. It's a regular question and I dread any family event where I'll see someone who's onto their second or third or more pregnancy. It reminds me what I don't have and it prompts them or others to ask if we want to have more children.

Of course we do.

I'm not ungrateful for my small family. I love how close we all are. I just have to get real about how much chocolate, cake and biscuits we can get through.

Love is... music, chocolate and sarcasm

Now as I type this me and Hubbie are on the radio presenting our Valentine's Day show - we do our show every two weeks and we pick a theme and choose alternate songs based on that theme. We joke that it's the only time we actually talk to each other, but the truth is we love to banter between songs and it's a chance to share our passion for music and bizarre facts with whoever is interested in listening to our ramblings.

I know not everyone is into Valentine's Day. Yes it's very commercial and a made up holiday and an excuse to sell cards and flowers and chocolates and to charge more for a set meal in a restaurant because you just have to go out and if you are still in a new relationship it's a minefield (and breathe). If you are single it can be a hellish thing much like the scene in Sex and the City the movie which typifies the miserable singleton experience of Valentine's Day. However, it is a thing and there are more songs written about love than almost anything else so it seemed an apt theme for our show - so there !

Besides which I'm married and we've been together almost ten years so we're supposed to be in the 'romance ? what's that ?' stage of life. I don't really get why you're supposed to celebrate being cynical about being in love when actually I genuinely do love Hubbie and my son and our cat. It's not just humans who get all loved up on this day either, 3% of all pet owners will give their cat a gift on this day. Neo got a kiss and cuddle from our boy, but he did wander off with disdain that it wasn't accompanied with a shake of biscuits in his food bowl.

If you are quite old or into cartoons you may recall that in the seventies there was a thing called "Love is..." with two slightly chubby characters who were pretty much naked all the time. Each one signified something that was supposedly typical of love and it was usually something twee like, "giving her the moon," or "kisses on a park bench."  I was never really into them if I'm honest. They were always a bit too schmaltzy for me, but inspired by this retro romanticism I've compiled my own signifiers of love - just for you this Valentine's Day.

You are welcome :)



Love is... Hubbie remembering the elephant teapot I mentioned that time we went past that shop in town








Love is... going out with my son and Hubbie for lunch instead of for dinner in the evening, because we love our boy's company - even if he prefers to watch Alphablocks on Daddy's phone.






Love is... Neo putting a paw on my leg to stop me getting up from the sofa because he's so comfy lying on me








Love is... me saving up all my calories for weeks so that we could splurge on a chocolate dessert pasta only for it to be really disappointing actually



and finally




Love is... Hubbie giving me this badge - even though I suspect he was being sarcastic !!

February is the month of chocolate :)

I love chocolate. I don't mean anything as naff as 'I'm a chocaholic' (to be consigned to the same vocabulary bin as the word 'shopaholic' thank you) I mean I have a basic need and desire for chocolate. The name of this blog is probably a big clue, so it may come as a surprise to learn that I had not eaten any chocolate this year until Saturday just gone. I set myself a challenge to stop eating chocolate for the whole of January and it was actually fine. I put away all the chocolate we got for Christmas. I rationed the mini chocolate fingers and the mini chocolate animal biscuits for my son and I asked Hubbie to eat chocolate in another room from me to avoid temptation.

I didn't even feel any pangs of longing, then two days before the end of my self-inflicted deprivation I started to really crave chocolate again. My boy was talking to our lovely neighbour last Tuesday evening and he told her that 'Mummy loves chocolate pasta' which he has actually made up as I've never eaten it or mentioned it. Then the following day I saw this in Waitrose - chocolate pasta filled with chocolate creme. It's like they are inside my brain !!! I'm saving it for Valentine's Day and as it is so sinfully calorific I suspect it's going to be my actual dinner rather than a dessert as it's intended.

We still have a house full of treats and I'm trying very hard to resist even though the month of no chocolate is over so I've asked Hubbie not to get me any chocolate for Valentine's Day or Mother's Day or any other celebration for the foreseeable future. It's meant we have to be creative, but he's been getting me lovely things like a a spa day or some beauty treatments instead which is much more of a pampering treat and won't make me feel frumpy and fat :)

I joked with friends that I was going to eat all the chocolate in the house on the 1st February then spend the 2nd of February in a diabetic coma from the sugar overload. The thing is as I've not been eating chocolate for a month, now when I do it just tastes far too sweet and I feel a bit ill afterwards - don't worry it won't last I'm sure I'll get over it before too long !

So, we established the new order where chocolate as a gift is no longer allowed. Then the lovely folks at Cocoa Boutique sent me these. I won a Twitter competition and these were my prize. I may just sneak the hazelnut ones into Hubbie's Valentine treats as I'm not really into pralines or nuts and chocolate generally. The others I might just have to enjoy myself.

Well it's rude not to isn't it ?

Hear ye hear ye - read all about it (every day !!)

As well as hosting my own radio show on a Monday Hubbie and I present a music show jointly that goes out online every two weeks. We make time to pre-record shows based on themes that we've chosen and pick songs that we play in turns on a show called "His & Hers." 

The idea came about because we have different preferences in music style and it provides contrast and - we hope - interest for listeners to hear how we've interpreted the theme. In the past we've done shows about colours, numbers, movies and food. Today we recorded two shows about couples who are in bands either together or separately. You know, Abba who were married to each other or Sonny & Cher. Neither of these made the cut, but you can listen on Friday 21st June and find out who we chose.

It's almost as much fun to choose the theme and songs as it it doing the show. It's a fun challenge and harks back to our shared history and the interests we had before we were Mummy and Daddy. You see we met when we were both doing a journalism course and had aspirations to be writers for a living. While both of us do write a lot for our work neither of us does it as a job or is paid for writing. Of course, that's the reason I have this blog.

So with that in mind I'm challenging myself to write a post every day. The logic being that by writing every day I'm closer to getting into the discipline of being a writer.

A health warning for you though dear reader, the posts may well be shorter than usual (which may be no bad thing).

So let's see how it goes shall we ?

Foodie Friday: Chocolate on prescription

This post is necessarily short as my little boy is poorly. Even the masses of chocolate he has been given by kindly family and friends for Easter have not shifted his tearful and whiny demeanour. I hope he feels better soon as we have planned an Easter Egg hunt for Sunday morning and as he is an only child he gets to eat all of them himself ! 

I've never truly understood the whole chocolate egg thing at Easter. I mean, I know what hot cross buns are about and now they seem to be in weird and wonderful new flavours so I already have apple and cinnamon, orange and cranberry and - the ultimate treat - chocolate ones from M & S. The link between hot cross buns and Easter I get, the Simnel cake I get, it's just the entire genre of ovoid chocolate that I seem to have missed the relevance of. 

Not that I'm complaining you understand. With my genetic predisposition to sweet foods and chocolate in particular this is my perfect celebration. Of course with my family predisposition to diabetes it probably isn't all that good for me either. 

I have decided this year to embrace the whole Easter theme and we are having an 'Easter afternoon tea' on Sunday with lemon cakes of various varieties to counteract all the chocolate craziness. My son already has enough chocolate to last the remainder of this year and we haven't even given him our gifts yet. I only give him a little bit of chocolate occasionally so he appreciates that it is special. 

After this weekend he might actually think it's one of his five a day ! 

Foodie Friday: Life is all about Chocolate, Chips and Cake.

I met a friend for dinner last week and she reached into her bag before eating so she could check what she was allowed to eat. I asked the obvious questions, 'on a diet ?' 'Pregnant ?' Turns out she has IBS and has been advised to avoid certain foods. Now I am way ahead at this particular party as I had severe problems with food around ten years ago and it took the GP two years of testing to conclude I had stress related IBS. Frustrated by the medical advice to eat charcoal (for real !) I decided to have a food allergy test at a health store to see if there was anything I should be aware of.

Now I know I brought this on myself really and if you have seen a 'nutritionist' or a 'holistic therapist' or spoken to anyone from the world of food health you won't be surprised by what the nice man told me after a highly unscientific test undertaken in the shop. I was advised to avoid: bread, caffeine, chocolate, onions, peppers, cabbage, red wine and red meat. In fact the only cliche he managed to avoid was that he didn't tell me to stop eating dairy.

The world of 'healthy eating' seems to be all about exclusion. We are advised to cut out wheat, sugar, dairy and caffeine. It's supposed to 'detox' the body. Now I don't know about you, but I don't feel toxic when I have a cup of tea. I feel pretty horrific at the thought of custard, but that's a preference thing. I used to feel a bit poorly if I overdid it with the wheat and I haven't drunk real coffee in ten years, but give up sugar and tea ? Give me a break. What's the point of living a long and essentially crappy life ? No cake - no tea - no hot buttered toast ? I realise that some people have genuine allergies to foods and I get that, what I'm talking about here is the self-imposed misery of food exclusion either to lose weight or to stay well.

I tried being a vegan for a few months in my first year at University. It struck me that as I already didn't eat meat I could easily be a vegan if I skipped butter on chappatis, left out the raita with my food and denied myself my beloved boiled egg and soldiers. However, I did struggle with tiredness, terrible skin and I was the most miserable I've ever been. I can see why Morrissey is such a grump most of the time -- hence it was only a shortlived experiment.

If life is about anything surely it is about enjoyment and experiencing and trying new things ? If I didn't eat sugar I'd never have tasted the exquisite chocolates from Rococo in Chelsea (also available online).

If I gave up dairy I'd never enjoy Ben & Jerry's ice cream on a hot day in Clapham Common watching live music and seeing the sheer bliss on my son's face as he scoffs two cones at once.

If I stopped eating wheat I would deny myself the pleasure of eating toast or pancakes or chappatis or cake. Personally I don't see wheat as the enemy, I love it. Most cultures in the world have a wheat based diet be it pasta or chapattis or bread and who am I to fight against those odds ?

This week I've made peanut butter cookies (a bit crumbly, but taste great), chocolate chip cookies (the boy loves these) and honey cookies (wanted to use up a jar of honey, they smell incredible and taste very sweet, but the boys both devour these for breakfast !). The simplicity of these and the happiness they create in my home cannot be overstated. 

All of which is a very long-winded way of saying that I'm going on a bread-making course this weekend. It's with Daniel Stevens who wrote the River Cottage bread handbook and promises 'all the bread you can eat' as well as lunch and wine - sold !!! 

It's a very early birthday present from Hubbie and I'm ridiculously excited about it. I will take photos and tell you all about it next week. 

Chocolate, chocolate everywhere...

February is crazy time - it's the shortest month with the most going on from dragon dances to pancakes to lovehearts to half term fun and the return of Creme Eggs !!

We are now in a new year on the Chinese calendar and last weekend we stumbled upon a dragon dance taking place in the most unlikely quarter of downtown Croydon. My boy found it all a bit too much with the loud drumming and large headed dragon, but he talked about it afterwards with glee so I'm pleased we experienced it first hand. Chinese New Year seems to have become lost in the glut of celebrations that we have over this short period, but we did made a lovely paper dragon at playgroup last week so the year of the snake hasn't entirely gone unnoticed.

Then we have shrove Tuesday - a magical day dedicated to the simplest foodstuff known to humankind that brings a smile to my boy, Hubbie and me all at once. We pile ours high with fruit and tuck in most weekends, but to have a special day just for pancakes is something else.

My boy made pancakes at nursery today and he was delighted to report that they were "delicious" a word he says with relish and saves for only the best foods. Poor Hubbie had a horrendous journey home so imagine how wonderful it was to come back to mini pancakes with bananas and maple syrup as a treat for my boys instead of their usual teatime.

Later this week we have one of the busiest nights in the restaurant world and the day that florists make more money than any other with the possible exception of Mothering Sunday. Valentine's Day causes so much consternation for new couples who don't know if it's too soon to go overboard on gifts and established couples who either have a 'routine' or feel it's all been done so what's new any more ?

In the past we have always taken turns to make a special meal at home rather than go out, but now that we are parents an evening out just the two of us is such a rare treat that we have decided to go out for a meal despite it being a cliche. I start planning gifts a long way back so by now I've got a pretty good stash of pressies for both my boys (sshhhh don't tell them !!) I am fascinated by the offers from dine in meals to overpriced roses to 'sexy' underwear. If you are in any doubt as to what you are supposed to give the retail sector will give you a lot of ideas.

Next week is half term then we have the preamble to Easter - the bus posters claim that Creme eggs aren't around for long, but seriously don't we just have them all year round now ? With so many celebrations in close proximity February is a pretty sugary month.

When me and Hubbie were first dating we used to celebrate everything. Any excuse to go out or to give each other gifts. So we would do the pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, the card and fancy meal on St Valentine's day and a tonne of chocolate at Easter. Hubbie makes the same promise each Lent to give up eggs and cauliflower (neither of which he eats) even though neither of us are Catholic or Christian.

I guess we just like having markers in the year that remind us where we are and give us excuses to celebrate.

Now it's even more fun as there's someone for whom it's all new and exciting as he's doing them for the first time. (Just don't tell him that his Valentine is from Mummy).

Breakfast at Tiffanys it ain't

 Hubbie finished at work today and has three weeks off work before he starts a new job. I'm delighted to have all of my boys at home for that three weeks, but it does leave me with a domestic dilemma of some concern. Nothing major really, but enough to make me wonder what I need to do on a basic level. What do I feed the boys for the next few weeks ?

This is how it goes at the moment:

Yummy Breakfast 

Breakfast: Boy and Hubbie eat together, cat is fed and I eat when they're all done or if I remember.
Lunch: Hubbie takes a packed lunch, the Boy eats at nursery or at home depending what day it is. I eat late in the afternoon - usually leftovers from last night's dinner.
Dinner: the Boy eats early before we pick Daddy up at the station. Then the cat is fed then, once the boy is in bed, me and Hubbie eat together.



My dilemma stems from how much control I have over all their food needs. At the moment I decide what food we buy, plan all the meals and ensure they all have what they need (foodwise) and ration out treats, but have an open policy on fruit. "If it's in the fruit bowl you can help yourself" works pretty well. The cat has two meals a day and biscuits at random intervals yet he still miaows whenever I'm anywhere near the kitchen pleading that he is completely starved and will waste away if I don't relent and put food in his bowl.

Pizza every day = happy Hubbie 

I have toyed with the idea of allowing them to choose for themselves, but I know that given too much choice this is what would happen:

Hubbie would live on pizzas, sausages, apples and sweets.
The Boy would happily survive on a student diet of toast, spaghetti bolognese, apples and sweets.
The cat would work out how to open those cat shaped boxes of biscuits (or train the others to do it for him) and eat nothing else and look like a white Jabba the Hutt in a matter of weeks.


With Hubbie at home my planning is all shot. I don't budget for him eating at home during the week so I'd end up stockpiling my lunchtime leftovers and cooking a new meal for two or giving them to him and being left with nothing to eat. Bread for sandwiches will sit in the bread bin and end up filling the freezer as I try to use it up before it goes green or I'll make the biggest bag of breadcrumbs known to humankind.

Cupcake chaos

The cat will have another pair of hands to feed him and will become even more insistent. I mostly negotiate with him and insist he's not actually hungry just bored and to do something diverting instead and come back at dinner time.

The boy will manipulate the situation and work out that with us both around he has double chance to trick us into giving him treats or to hide his half eaten apples under the sofa or in his car seat.



On the plus side we can all eat lunch together on days when he's not at nursery. Like I said at the beginning, it's not a major issue, but it's a niggle.

Oh and if I could just eat what I wanted without consequences (to my skin, on my thighs, for my wardrobe, etc.) I'd live on chips, strawberries, chocolate, hot buttered toast and tea.

This is why I am strict with everyone. I bake cakes for others that I won't eat and make meals that are big enough to feed again the next day. I always know what is in the fridge, when it needs to be eaten by and how I'm going to use it.

What we need now is a new plan.

It's going to be a challenge !

Kitchen Confidential (or thrills, spills and lentils)

You already know about my unhealthy obsession with Come Dine With Me and food in general. I have also said I'd never do the programme because no one comes out of it looking anything other than grasping and desperate or incompetent and clueless. I have no idea what I'd cook and while I enjoy cooking I don't think I'm especially skilled at it. I also fear a disaster in the kitchen which once on tape would haunt me forever.

True I do sit around thinking about what I'm going to eat next or even tomorrow. If I have a random ingredient to use up I spend a ridiculous amount of time trawling the internet and poring over my cookbooks to find a suitable recipe. Usually I find one that requires yet more ingredients so I end up with even more in the cupboard which I'll need to use up at a later date. This is why I make banana cake so often - we buy a lot of bananas and if they go a bit soft or spotty I won't eat them. The plus side is I don't like cooked bananas so Hubbie and our friend Jan are the main beneficiaries of my baking prowess, so I don't end up piling on the pounds and I appear altruistic.

When Hubbie cooks a special meal for me he will find a recipe that requires at least 12 ingredients (only 4 of which I have in) and I end up with bottles of rose essence, mustard seeds, desiccated coconut and curry leaves to use at a later date. The meal is always delicious and far more inventive than anything I would try, but then it is an annual effort so he does go to town a bit.

Of course cooking almost every day means there will be occasional mishaps and some of them are so bad they put you off that foodstuff for life.

Here - in no particular order - are some of the many disasters I have had in my years of cooking:

1. While rushing around in the world's smallest kitchen preparing food I dropped an entire bowl of homemade potato salad on the floor before a picnic with friends. Only one of them witnessed it and she is no longer in the circle so can't tell anyone when they might have tasted floor food.

2. The options were to steam for 30 minutes or to zap in the microwave for 10 minutes so for ease I did that latter and this meant we had an exploding rice filled lotus leaf with our beautifully marinated and steamed fish.

3. During an experimental phase with fruit and curry I made an ill-judged decision to put grapefruit in chicken curry. To quote Ross and Monica's dad Jack Geller, "it was not good."

4. In an attempt to use up a box of mangos left by my Dad for my son (which he didn't like) I decided to make my own sorbet / ice cream. I managed to do the stirring every few hours bit for most of the day then forgot and left it overnight. Lets just say it needs to be taken out of the freezer a few hours before eating in order to break into it - yes it is a bit too frozen.

5. I had a pot of quark that I had used about one spoonful of and needed to finish so I had the genius idea to make mushroom pate with it instead of greek yoghurt. The taste was pretty good, but it was quite sloppy. Of course my guests were far too polite to comment on the runniness of the starter.

And the ones that I got away with:

When working in the staff kitchen in Sainsburys I managed to seriously burn the sponge pudding so I poured some lemon icing over it and was astounded at the compliments I got for my "treacly citrus pudding." 

I found a load of seeds and nuts that I'd bought while pregnant and not finished so I adapted my usual cookie recipe to include them. The results were not to my taste, but by all accounts they were a hit with Hubbie's work colleagues. 

Only today I halved the quantities in a recipe for cookies, but a miscalculation meant I added double coconut into the mix. We have yet to find out what the consequences of this error are as the mix won't be cooked until it's been in the fridge overnight. 

Fingers crossed it won't be so bad it'll go into the first list !

24 Creme Eggs in 30 days… Go !!!

Going through the 'treats cupboard' one evening this week I found a stockpile of chocolate oranges (obviously) and 4 multipacks of Creme eggs - that's 24 actual eggs. To explain, I have a cupboard where I keep chocolate and 'treats.' I've found that if I don't have chocolate in the house it's all I can think about and I feel anxious - I know this is not normal - so I keep a supply to hand.

As I was an overweight child my treats intake was controlled, but I recall always wanting to have more of the sweet stuff. Even now I have rules and regulations around sweets and chocolate. Chocolate for breakfast is only allowed at Easter and at Christmas (after some semblance of normal breakfast food). Only one chocolate a day is allowed under normal circumstances - any more than that constitutes a crisis, a bad break up or a particularly weepy movie. This is where Cadburys' new treat bags have really messed with my rules as on a day when I'm being really greedy I count a whole bag as one treat when in reality it's probably three or four disguised as one bag of mini munchies. 

I suspect it goes back to my Mother having a 'treats box' when we were children which we were only allowed to have with permission and only occasionally. I strictly control the chocolate consumption of the household and no one is allowed the last of any chocolate without checking if it is ok. In a previous life my other half ate an entire pack of wagon wheels (six !! six wagon wheels !!) while I was out and when I asked why he said he was hungry. Why he couldn't make a sandwich is beyond me, but that was his reason. That was when I instituted the "ask before eating the last bar" policy. 

Luckily Hubbie is a very understanding chap so he knows that the rule is help yourself to anything from the fruit bowl, but check before taking anything from the treats section. My son is already keen on fruit and today he enjoyed grapes plucked from the stalks rather than picked by Mummy and put in a bowl first. Of course if offered chocolate he loves it, but I am delighted that when he fancies a snack he asks for an apple (or ap-poo as he calls it). 

So back to the Creme egg saga. I know the season for Easter eggs is now ridiculously long, but for some reason I felt the need to buy a lot of them this year. Hence the stockpile. I do randomly date check the items in the cupboard to ensure we don't end up wasting food that sits there well past it's best before date. On checking the eggs it appears we have to finish them all by the end of this month. It's a job for a professional and I think I'm up to the task - with Hubbie's help of course. 

The incredible Sulk

For those of my readers who are not in a relationship this post will either be of little interest or make you glad you're not. It's about the trials and tribulations that living with another person can cause.

People are annoying. They can be friendly, kind, loving and even funny, but mostly other people are annoying. From the music they listen to on their headphones, to the opinions they have to the way they eat food in public, other people are just a mish-mash of things that are designed to get on your nerves. Take all these qualities and put them in your house and try living with them and you have a marriage. Or if you're not that into marriage, you have a partnership.

I live with someone who doesn't argue (and I don't mean my son - he's already able to yell within an impressive range !) My Hubbie is perceived by everyone as being a nice guy and a bit of a softie. So those who think I'm a meanie have this idea that he is hen-pecked. In actual fact he's perfectly able to stand up for himself and not arguing is a real bonus as I come from a family where shouting and arguing are considered primary forms of communication. In fact my father's preferred form of punishment in my teenage years was to just not talk to me for ages. The longest time he ignored me was 4 years and at this point he even walked past me in the street and pretended he hadn't seen me. In his mind withdrawing any form of communication was the ultimate sanction in a household where the decibel level was critical all the time.

If I'm upset I snap, or I cry, or usually I do both. It's immediate, it's done with and as soon as it's over I regret the bad feeling I've caused to others in my warpath during the dark mood. This is why I can't abide two things:

1. the lingering nonsense that is sulking.

2. being constantly reminded of how I was really angry about something that time. 

If you sulk it's self indulgent and it doesn't achieve anything. It doesn't clear the air and it doesn't explain to anyone what your issue is. It also doesn't leave any space to apologise for being selfish as it's just too long drawn out for that. Reminding me that I was upset about something years ago (or as one person I know likes to do constantly telling me I'm unreasonable) ignores the fact that I do apologise and try to make up for being in a bad mood which a sulker doesn't do. 

I live with the world's primary expert in sulking. If there were a prize for being able to sulk the longest and with the least reason he'd have won it long ago. I blame myself. Mother-in-law did tell me this years ago and I smiled and thought, "what does she know ?" I mean she's only his mother after all. He is able to sulk for days that go into almost weeks. I make his favourite foods, offer him the remote more often and keep asking if he's alright. The mood doesn't shift. Then I finally snap and lose my temper and revert to type and demand an explanation for the moping around and get a teenage response akin to "nuffin" and a shrug.

In some ways it's good to have different conflict styles. Not for us the constant hum of low grade bickering you see in other marriages. I remember getting caught in the cross fire of an argument about whether or not to paint radiators once - it was petty and ugly, much like that couple's arguing style. Just once in a while though I'd like the simplicity of one of us saying what is wrong and the other one responding with kindness and a cup of tea. 

It's difficult enough to be nice to strangers without having to do pleasantries with him indoors. If you can't just say "Oi ! Stop leaving your socks on the floor it pisses me off !" what is the point of being married ? Surely it's about being able to let off steam to the one person who you know can take it and will be alright with you about it because they know you're just upset and not being a nasty, selfish pig.

Every now and again I want to switch off from making sure everyone else is ok and just have an off day. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. A cup of tea and a bar of chocolate is a great solution, but just not having someone else sulk about it is even better. 

All creatures great and small

At the weekend two horses died as a result of taking part in the Grand National - a race generally seen as very hard on both riders and horses. Once again people have raised issues of safety and animal welfare in a sport where horses have a 'shelf life' just as the dogs in greyhound racing do. For me this raises the ugly question of whether we have the right as humans to use animals for our entertainment.

Of course as someone who shares their house with a cat we have plenty of entertainment of the feline kind. Only yesterday Hubbie was looking out of the kitchen window and said "who is that at the end of the garden ?" He meant the tabby cat who is a newcomer to our garden, but I thought he meant the fox that was tiptoeing his way towards the cat. We scrambled to get outdoor shoes on to chase off the fox and I quipped that if I had a red coat and a horse we wouldn't have this problem. In the early days of our courtship me and Hubbie took part in a debate about fox hunting where we took opposite points of view. It's not the first time I've had that discussion and I still cannot fathom how anyone can see fox hunting as a fun day out rather than a brutal 'sport.' I don't see the appeal of chasing a fox using a pack of dogs and surely being drunk in charge of a horse is just irresponsible ?

I have the same problem with zoos, so not taking my son to see the animals is something I will have to explain to him when he is older. In the same way I'm sure he will want to know why Mummy doesn't eat meat. I stopped eating meat in my teens mostly as I read an interview with Madonna where she said that vegetarians are thinner and paler (yes at the age of 13 I cared what she said !) but also as I was horrified by how animals were kept and cared for in order to be eaten. Battery farming especially made me very distressed so seeing the free range hens that live a few doors away makes my heart sing every morning.

About 15 years later I went through an experimental phase with meat. I had been struggling with IBS for a few years and took advice to get some tests to see if it was the food I was eating. The testing was pretty dubious and I was told I was 'intolerant' to wheat, caffeine, peppers, onions, cabbage, red wine, etc. The usual rubbish that you get when you go for a non medical or 'natural' explanation is to cut out wheat, dairy and sugar, ie. all the nice foods. As a veggie I pretty much lived on pasta and potatoes so to be told that my staple foods were off the menu came as something of a shock and left me with few options (or so I thought). I started to eat some chicken then slowly reintroduced other foods that I hadn't eaten for over a decade. To be honest I found meat really uninteresting and dull. It didn't inspire creativity and frankly I'd have preferred to just be able to eat toast. A few years ago I decided again that I prefer not to eat meat and as it is so much more normal now than it was when I first became veggie and the choices are better.

I still vacillate on the decision about whether or not to eat fish and it is one that vexes me as I am always  on the brink of giving it up. I do really enjoy fish though and despite my high minded ideals there has to be space for enjoyment in life doesn't there ?  Speaking of which I did try being a vegan at university (didn't we all ?) and was exhausted, spotty and pale as well as very hungry all the time. I mean who can live without a piece of cake and a cup of tea (no soy or rice milk just doesn't cut it I'm afraid). I admire those who can eat well on a limited diet, but frankly my body was built on chocolate, chips and cheese. Oh, and the occasional piece of buttery toast.

Chocolate, chocolate everywhere...

On the way to visit my family today we saw a parade of churchgoers walking alongside the road we were driving on. Some were carrying crosses and Hubbie pointed out to our boy that this was taking place. It reminded me that for some people Easter is about a lot more than chocolate eggs and Bond movies on the telly. For my family it is pretty much about chocolate, eating food and hanging out for the long weekend. In particular for me it's catching up with as many Come Dine With Me episodes as possible and telling myself that I'm not going to ruin my diet and pig out (which is not helped when Hubbie has given me a chocolate Percy Pig !!)

I should know this, but I have no idea why we associate Easter with chocolate eggs. It might be that Cadbury were particularly hot on selling the idea of an ovoid filled with fondant and created a parallel celebration to the resurrection. Maybe sales start flagging at this time of year with Valentine's Day and Mother's Day gone - after all Father's Day isn't until June. It's not really much of a chocolate day anyway since Red Letter Days sold us on the idea of vouchers for adrenaline events so that grown men can pretend to be James Bond instead of just watching Daniel Craig drive fast cars.

My own conspiracy theory is that it's the diet industry that creates all these food related celebrations so that we are always fighting to lose weight for something. The post Christmas diet, the pre-holiday diet, the pre and post Easter diet, it's never ending !! Many moons ago when I was still at university I stayed at the student house over Easter to do some work and was following a low fat diet plan. Of course I was twenty years younger than I am today so I was already slimmer to start with, but it's the only time I've actually lost weight over Easter as instead of eating chocolate I was exercising every day and eating sensibly.

The problem with everyone knowing you love chocolate is that there is so much of it out there and even when you say you don't want any it still finds you. The Easter Bunny has been very generous to us this year, so I'm going to pace myself and hopefully the damage won't leave me looking ovoid !

Happy Sister's Day

In a year of celebrations from the Olympics to the Queen's diamond jubilee we've just had Mother's Day and in June it'll be Father's Day. We also now have grandparents day, nurses day and all manner of celebratory days to mark the special relationships we have with people. There are some glaring omissions though and one that I feel especially aggrieved by is the lack of a day to celebrate siblings.

As the oldest of four children I have a few of them and have been blessed with some great kindness that I think is worth a mention. In particular I have one sister who has been through some hardship in recent years and has still remained a kind and loving person.

When she was a young child she was always looking out for everyone. If I went out for the evening (I didn't have a wild social life, despite what my Mother thinks) no matter how late it was I'd get home to see her sitting on the top stair usually fast asleep waiting for me to get home safe before she would go to bed herself.

When I returned home having left my first husband none of my family questioned why or what happened. On the first night my sister came into the room I was staying in and asked if I wanted her to stay with me. She sat by the bed in the dark, quietly, just keeping me company until I fell asleep. I had no idea what I needed, but it was the kindest and most selfless gesture.

When I was in labour and had to go into hospital because our son was having trouble being born my sister was the go-between with my family checking on how we were doing and helping hubbie keep calm. She was the first to visit her nephew and offered to help me have a wash as I felt so skanky in the hospital.

Since then she has been invaluable in caring for my son and by association me. She would tell me to go and lie down and even took my son out in his pram without me for the first time. Last week she took him for his first happy meal and I expect she will be his favourite auntie all his life for that alone !

Just writing this has made me tearful, so I'm going to stop, but not before I say thank you to my sister. There isn't enough cake or chocolate in the world to thank you for being such a kind and loving person, but you will always get both whenever you are here.

Oh and I'm working on getting you Jessie Pavelka dipped in chocolate :o)