The best things in life are music and kissing

Music is a big part of my life. It always has been. From the first time I heard Jesus and Mary Chain and knew that there was music for me in the world - not just the insipid pop that my contemporaries enjoyed - I was hooked. It was about so much more than just the music for me - it was the words, the artist and the fashion. I've often mentioned my love of Debbie Harry, Chrissie Hynde and Kim Gordon - beautiful women and powerful singers. I always wanted to be as amazing as they appeared to me and the fact that they are still going strong is so inspiring. It was also a valuable life lesson to have the self confidence they must have had to make such an impact in an industry that traditionally favoured men.

In the eighties Patsy Kensit was the pretty girl at the front of the band, but she was still iconic. Wendy James, however screeched like a banshee, looked hot as hell and had a punk attitude. The sentiment of this song spoke to me - even though I hadn't even been in love at this point. The idea of being with someone just for what he would spend on you seemed ridiculous to me so I love this. I remember when one of the girls in school told me how much money her boyfriend had in his bank account.  I couldn't understand why it mattered to her. All that I cared about was if a boy was a good kisser. In fact that's always been the thing that takes my breath away - a kiss to make my heart skip a beat.

Of course later on when I'd had my heart broken a few times I also discovered the women with big voices and a no nonsense attitude towards their men. Etta James' voice raised my heart rate and the brazeness of the lyrics here embarrassed me beyond belief. Even at my most confident I don't think I could express myself this honestly. It's just as well she did on my behalf. I loved that there was music out there for women who owned their sexuality and weren't afraid to say what they wanted. Let's be honest if a woman like Etta sings this to you are you going to say no ?

In my first serious relationship - and subsequent marriage - my partner would spend a lot of money on gifts. I found it a bit overwhelming as I didn't feel deserving of such generosity. It also went against my upbringing of saving money and being careful with spending. Don't get me wrong I love gifts and really enjoy spoiling others. More often than not that will be something I know they would appreciate or they mentioned it once and I remembered. However, when it comes to me I would rather spend time with someone I love than have money or gifts. Don't get me wrong I am always grateful for kindness, it's just the cost isn't necessary. The best presents for me involve music - a gig I really want to go to or an evening in good company. It's pretty simple really.

The best thing about music is how it makes me feel. If I'm down I listen to the music that fits my mood. Ok that is wallowing, but it's also allowing me to feel the emotion and often I find a way through the heartache or loss through music. Whenever I was dealing with a break up I'd always turn to certain songs that suddenly had deep meaning for me - how did they know how it felt to be me ? Just as falling out of love is a mainstay of music there are the songs about being in love - that beginning bit where it's all wonderful and you can't wait to see each other. When every touch is like a surge of electricity just thinking about that special someone inspire feelings of love - and lets be honest lust ! It was Prince's stock in trade to create sensuous music and some of the lyrics left very little to the imagination. While it's one of the best known I still think Kiss typifies how wonderful it can be to just lock lips with someone and be lost in the moment.

I'm always going on about the movies I love and music is a major factor is what appeals to me about a film. One of my favourites is a romantic comedy which features a lot of soppy songs and I love them all. The story of two people meeting, having a magical connection and losing touch for years before finally finding each other again tugs at my heart strings. Every time I watch Serendipity I think John Cusack will get out at the right floor and meet Kate Beckinsale and they will save themselves the torturous journey to find each other again. Every time. The music is perfect with the divine voices of Annie Lennox and Nick Drake adding beauty to the simple story. However, it's this song by Shawn Colvin that completes it for me.

If I didn't have music would I be able to express myself - probably. Would it be the same as crafting a mix tape or a CD for someone - shorthand for, "here is what I feel and these words and music express it so much better than I can." Absolutely not. Sharing music with others is like a love letter. It's giving a part of myself to someone else and being vulnerable. Of course the fun and enjoyment I get from it is a bonus.

Remember when swipe left was how you turned the page on a kindle ?

You will be relieved to hear that I'm aware that my recent posts have been all 'me, me, me,' and frankly even I've had enough of that. So, in reponse to absolutely no public demand here is a welcome break from the pity party.

A friend of mine separated from her partner last year and is keen to meet someone new, so she's been internet dating. It's been 15 years since I did the same and the world of dating has changed a phenomenal amount since then. In the early days you never admitted to meeting anyone through the internet. I told only a few friends and my housemates were on hand to call me to give me a get out if things were going wrong. If anyone asked how you'd met you would be prepared with stories about shared interests or meeting at work. In actual fact the serious relationships in my life did come about through work and shared interests so maybe there's something in that ?

Anyway, this is my advice for you Britney* based on what I learned and I hope it's helpful. Feel free to disregard it all and throw caution to the wind though love. If you meet the man of your dreams in a wine bar in Beckenham and he's a keeper, what do I know ?

The experience of internet dating was a salutory lesson in what I didn't want. It helped me narrow down the qualities I was looking for and the 'non-negotiables.' At this point you want to meet some guys, have a drink, dinner, whatever. A profile won't tell you anything that matters, but it will give you the headlines. I can guarantee you that men always overrate how attractive they are. That's not to say they're trolls, but they will say they're an 8 when they're probably a 6 on a good day. When you've shown me photos I've noticed there are fewer passport shots now and more 'hey look at me on the beach, walking the Great Wall,' etc. type photos. That shows effort, or a good grasp of photoshop.

Where you meet matters. I was lucky that when I was dating I lived and worked in London so I didn't go to the same place twice. If I was really unsure about a potential date I'd meet them at the wine bar down the road from my house so I didn't have to give up my entire evening if it wasn't going well. Ok, so you have the added wrinkle of arranging childcare, but if you meet for lunch that solves that one and you have an automatic out if he's not your type.

Talking of type I've categorised them for you to save you the heartache and drama - I mean, we have kids, that's enough drama isn't it ? 

The Marrying Kind: 

This guy is ready to settle down. He's going to marry the next woman who meets his criteria. All his mates are settled and he was in a serious relationship, but that ended and now he's running out of time. If you want to get married go for this guy, but if not be prepared for him to move on pretty quickly so he can get to Mrs Right. 

The Cryer:

Emotions are good and all that, but this chap emotes all over the shop. And the cafe and the car park if it gets that far. He had a pretty crappy break up with his last girlfriend and while he's not bitter he is feeling every last bit of it. Still. So you will hear about it and how he thought they were going to settle down and have kids and that he misses the dog. He still goes to see her parents and plays Fifa with her brother, but he's over it. Honest. 

The lad:

The love of this guy's life is his group of mates. They have names like, "Banjo, Big D, G-Man and Tash." He won't explain any of them, "you had to be there." These friends have known each other since they were kids and they will have known every girl he's ever dated. It won't matter to him if you aren't his type, he's doing you a favour letting you into his 'gang' anyway.  

Heff wannabe:

He's fit and he knows it. Acts like a playboy, but never talks about what he does for a living. That exclusive club in town ? Yep he can get you in and he drops names that mean nothing to you. He gives the impression he doesn't have to work and can afford a lavish lifestyle. It's more likely he lives with his parents and drives their car. He's got all the moves and it's flattering that he wants to even be seen in your company, but you know he's always looking over your shoulder for a better option. Enjoy it while it lasts - you're just a pit stop. 

The Player: 

He's all about sharing himself around and will probably call you by the wrong name. Actually he will call you babe or darling or precious so as not to have to even learn your name. He won't pretend to be looking for anything serious so you'll have a laugh and go out on some dates with a bloke who claims to like women - so much he can't choose just one. He knows what to say and how to treat you like a lady - or a bad, bad girl if you prefer - and gets plenty of practice. If you don't mind not being his one and only this is your guy, well not yours exclusively, but you know what I mean. 

The Bad Boy:

Oh this one is so appealing and so very hard to give up. He won't make a firm arrangement with you so you never know where you stand. If he does show up he's sufficiently sexy to make you forget his misdemeanors. He's pretty unreliable (think John Hamm's character in Bridesmaids) but has you wrapped around his little finger. Thinking about him will make your heart flutter, but you know that he's also going to break your heart. Totally worth it ! 

Could go either way: 

Potentially a good guy, possibly a stalker. Too soon to say. He will be attentive, kind, romantic, thoughtful and there. Man will he be there. If he hasn't already cooked for you he's planning on it. He sent you flowers after the first date and calls when he says he will. Nothing bad about any of that but if he's not your type he's not going to give you up easily. It make take a while to shake this one off. Still it's nice to be wanted isn't it ? 

The jackpot:

If he's seen you at your worst, if he's around when you're being a total arsehole - hey let's get down to brass tacks, if he's held back your hair when you've overdone it at that Prosecco bar you both thought was a great idea - he's a keeper. He's not perfect - hell neither are you ! - but he's also realistic and knows that it's not always posh dinners and hot sex. He's around for the fun stuff and will still be there when things are a bit crap. You have a laugh and you can be yourself without fear that he's not up to it. For my money this one is the one to hold out for.

Of course the profile on your phone won't tell you any of this so you're going to have to snog a few frogs. In the meantime enjoy the drinks, the dinners and whatever else you fancy.

Good luck precious xx

* Britney is not her name, I'm being discreet. 

Sunday Night disco

I've written about Sunday night syndrome before. That feeling of dread you get as the weekend draws to a close and Monday morning gets closer. To be honest at the moment I'm not sure what day it even is most of the time. It makes no odds to me anyway.  I think a bit of music therapy is in order.


Free Fallin' - Tom Petty:

Let it be - The Beatles:

Where are we now ? - David Bowie:

How can you mend a broken heart ?

It's been a sad day today. I don't know why in particular. I went to see my hairdresser to plan the big haircut for Macmillan. I'm cutting off my hair and donating it to make wigs for children and we needed to see if it would be long enough to donate. When I was talking to him I felt so sad - not about the hair, I'm not that vain. It made me think about the reason I am doing this. It reminded me how overwhelmed I was when I made the decision to do this. Within hours of hearing of my friend's death I wanted to do something and that was what came to mind. I don't know why and I can't explain what I hope to achieve other than to raise a lot of money for a fantastic cause. 

As I was going about my day today I was listening to the radio. This song came on and I started to cry. A lot. However much I think I've come to terms with loss I really haven't at all. I remembered how the sun shone on the day of the funeral. The funeral director walking in front of the hearse and the tears in her eyes as she also knew Soraya and had arranged her mother's funeral a few years ago. Driving to the crematorium with a family member I'd never met before and making small talk until we got to the chapel. All the while the sun was shining and it was beautiful. 

So why was it that today as I remembered all these things I just felt so very sad. Empty. Hollow. Maybe it is because my heart feels broken.

Thank you for the music, the laughter and the love

Yesterday was a tough day. I had intended to write a post while the boys were at football, but just before they left I got a text message. A friend I love dearly is seriously ill and has days to live. She is the same age as me and we have been through a lot together. I knew she was ill - of course I did - but I had no idea this would happen. So soon. I spent some time walking round a bit lost. Then I cried. A lot. When I thought I was done it started again and eventually I had to ask Hubbie to not rush home as I didn't want the boys to see Mummy so upset. 

Things aren't so easy at the moment. I have a lot I want to say, but it is all too soon. When in doubt I turn to music so I'm doing that now. For my beautiful, wonderful, talented friend.  The last time we saw each other we chatted, made jokes and played music. All the things we love.  

So for now I can only think in terms of the music we shared and loved. Forgive me if the words don't make much sense. 

Prince - Starfish and Coffee:

Once we were at a conference in Islington and we went for brunch afterwards. Soraya ordered pancakes with maple syrup, banana and bacon. She declared them, "not that bad," and I surmised that it was her pregnancy hormones talking. 

Norah Jones - Thinking aboout you: 

Soraya phoned me one day to tell me she had some news. She had breast cancer and had wanted to tell me in person, but she wanted me to know. I saw her soon after and throughout the treatment we spoke regularly. Even if we didn't meet up, she was in my thoughts. We joked about going shopping for wigs together. She always gave time to talking about my stuff, however mundane it was in comparison. Having said that she did not forgive me for going to see Norah at Ronnie Scotts without her last Autumn. 

Shakespeare's Sister - Stay: 

Whatever happened we were there for each other. When she was given the all clear 5 years after a breast cancer diagnosis we walked the Moonwalk together. At the beginning when they said 'think about who you are doing this for' we held each other and cried. She was my reason - she was there with me. We talked non-stop for around ten hours and still had plenty to say to each other. I don't know anyone else I could do that with. 

David Bowie - Lazarus: 

I remember how devastated I felt when a man I didn't know and had never met died two years ago. His music has been with me my whole life and the idea that he was gone just filled me with sadness. When I spoke to Soraya she expressed exactly the same emotions. As 2016 progressed we shared our angst at how terrible a year it was turning into. 2017 had to be better surely ? It wasn't. When we last spoke she told me she just wanted to get the year over so that we could start a new one and look to the future. I had no idea she would not be part of it. 

Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On:

This is how I want to think of Soraya - in the studio playing tunes she loved. That and being the DJ for Cheeky in the Chapel, the fundraiser she hosted for Radio Lewes and the Oyster Project. The excitement as she introduced songs by artists she had just discovered and I shared music with her that I had fallen in love with.

In the end I will remember her through music. That and her sign off when we spoke on the phone - lots of love.

I'm out of Whamageddon... no it's ok I'm fine.

I was doing so well until this last week when I took the boys to the barbers for their seasonal haircuts. It was all going swimmingly then the festive music started up on the radio and it happened. The one tune I had managed to avoid all December finally caught up with me. Yes it's true I am out of Whamageddon ! In case this meme has passed you by it's the phenomenon where you try to get through as much of December as possible without hearing Last Christmas by Wham. Cover versions don't count, but I think the cheery and loud rendition by my drunken fellow passengers on the train home on Friday night would have rendered every passenger on the carriage well and truly out of the game too. It's not even like it's my favourite song about Christmas, it's far too schmaltzy and sentimental. However, it does hold a special place in my heart because Hubbie deliberately sings it out of tune which amuses me no end. No it's the video that makes this for me - in hindsight a bizarre scenario, but the hair is just amazing !

I asked my fellow radio presenters to select their favourite songs for Christmas and have discovered some beautiful new songs to add to my playlist. One I've only just remembered recently is by Bruce Springsteen and it just makes me smile. I defy you to listen to this and not enjoy it.

An altogether smoother number is by She and Him featuring the delightful vocals of Zooey Deschanel - a truly renaissance woman - and brings an elegant touch to a familar tune.

For years I favoured a post punk band and their Christmas anthem because it felt a bit more rebellious. Until it occured to me that it was on every compilation album and is hardly alternative. I still love the Waitresses and Christmas Wrapping.

This one isn't strictly speaking a Christmas song, but it's always featured in the seasonal offering and I just love Chrissie Hynde's voice. Also the video that was shown on Top of the Pops featured her dressed as in a Salvation Army uniform so that pretty much settled its place as an annual favourite.

At heart, however, I am an softie and the song that brings most meaning to me at this time of year is this John Lennon number.

However you are spending this day I hope it goes well. At least you've got these great tunes to keep you company.

It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it

Last night I went to see a band from my childhood. As I surveyed the room full of middle aged women and men - and a fair few gay men - I checked out the fashions in the room. You see before I left the house it took ages to decide what to wear. I wanted to 'dress up,' but it was really cold and I didn't want to freeze. What I'd forgotten of course was how hot and sweaty it gets in a venue during a gig. The long sleeved striped top and carpenter jeans I'd chosen caused me to feel fair overheated, but that might have been down to the dancing. Hubbie had expressed a wish for me to dress like this: 

Well, he is a man after all ! So I laughed and went upstairs to change into something far more suitable for a woman of my stature and age. As I watched the big screen behind the bananas showing their old music videos it reminded me that pretty much all my fashion choices in my teens were informed by Siobhan Fahey - and later Madonna. Okay so it didn't look the same on chubby asian me as it did on tall and slim pop starlets, but they had a look that was accessible and - by their own admission - thrown together. These girls weren't styled by anyone - well not until the Stock, Aitken & Waterman days anyway. Before that anyone could dress like a pop star. 

I mean this look was one of my staples - checked shirt, braces and pleated trousers. Yep did that. 

Then there were the dungarees. I have revisited this look in recent years, but back in the day I did in fact own a white pair and can honestly admit I must have looked more like a pint sized painter / decorator than a member of a pop band. 

If you grew up in the eighties you will remember the big hair. Oh yes it was big. I had very long hair back then, but I still tried to make it big and would braid it overnight to make it all crimped and wavy, then tie it up with scarves or rags. It didn't quite resemble this fab look, but I did try. 

Then there were the hats. I love a hat me and in the eighties we had the fantastic Mel and Kim big hat look and of course I had one. It didn't look quite as cool as this, but I like to think I was rocking it in my own way. 

So by the time I was at uni my clothing choices were getting more indie and less pop like, but I could still look to my girls for the cool edgy look I was going for. Look at the fingerless gloves, the red lipstick and the big coat - that's hardcore indie as far as I'm concerned. 

When I turned to my gig buddy and told her that I dressed like Bananarama for most of my teenage years she patted me on the shoulder and said, "never mind." Actually I loved being reminded of my scruffy, experimental, cheap and cheerful teenage looks. It was a bit of nostalgia and reminded me how much effort I put into my appearance. Just as the band have grown up and their look is far more sleek now, I like to think I have developed and grown into my middle aged style.

Mind you in my heart I still want to dress like this.

Play it again sam...

I need some music this week. Some uplifting joyful music. There has been so much in the media to be angry about and frankly I just want to turn up the sound and forget everything else. If you are feeling this too, join me for a little self-indulgent musical interlude if you will: 

This is ridiculous, but I love it. No, not even sorry. 

TLC were epic, this song is a proper hanging out with your girlfriends and singing it loud choon:

This one is just so cool I love it:  

This one is pretty self explanatory: 

 Finally, one I have been playing a lot since I've been back on the radio again: 

Business as usual again soon - I promise. I just need this right now. 

Feeling hot hot hot !!!

It's been a while since I shared a playlist and while I am taking a break from my radio show I miss playing seasonal tunes. Music has so many memories and whenever I hear True by Spandau Ballet it reminds me of sitting in my parents' garden in the summer of 1986 revising in the scorching heat. When me and Hubbie went on holiday to California we bought some albums for our road trip and I can't listen to Stereolab without thinking of the drive along Highway 101 watching the Ocean. When I was pregnant the song I used to sing to Brown Bear was Baby I Love You - well anything with baby in the lyrics really - so that's pretty evocative. Blue Bear loves Pharrell's song Happy and we recently found out it was number one when he was born - spooky ! 

So, while we have this heatwave I think we should all relax to some great tunes until it's a bit cooler and I stop getting bitten by bugs. Seriously dudes why not take a chunk out of someone else for a change. Anyway, pick up the long cold drink of your choice and enjoy. 

When you hear this you just know it's Summer 

The most beautiful version of this song in my opinion

I know he's the housewives' favourite, but you have to love Michael don't you ? 

This is a bit of history for me and a hilarious movie

This is by far the best summer song of all time and my favourite song by the Beatles

Don't forget to reapply the suncream. 

Yoga music: review

I remember the first yoga class I attended where the teacher played music. I found it odd and enthralling at the same time, but it was years before I really embraced the idea of music and practice working together. When I trained to be a yoga teacher I was mentored by a teacher whose classes were infused with incense, music and chanting. It was full on and immersive and some parts I've kept in my teaching and others not so much. I can't stand incense so I don't use it, but scented candles ? Yes please.

Music to teach to has to fulfil some simple rules for me. Instrumental only, evocative and if there are nature sounds too then all the better. I'm lucky that I teach in a space with a lot of natural light and birdsong just outside the windows. The music I play when teaching has to complement that so I often use ambient music.

I was sent an album of yoga music produced by Group Fitness Music to review and played it when teaching my regular class. It was beautiful and just the right combination of soft and lilting while also providing a yogic atmosphere. The tracks are fairly short so if you wanted to use just a few it would work for a mini meditation and it was long enough for the whole hour lesson. When I teach a longer class I play it on a loop without an obvious break.

The music is PRS license free so you can use it at no cost. If you are a fitness instructor you could use this for stretching or relaxation. I asked my students what they thought of it and they really enjoyed the music and found it complemented the yoga really well.

The album can be downloaded from iTunes, Amazon and Google. If you are old school like me you can also get a CD.

Disclosure: I was sent a copy of the CD in return for an honest review.

For the love of music

I can't recall the exact date of my first gig, but I know that it was at Wembley Arena at some point in 1987. My friend Nicki took us in a TR7 that her stepdad had built and given to her - he was an engineer for British Airways and it was his pet project. She drove us to the arena and parked in the massive car park and we went in to watch the Eurythmics I think. I hadn't been to a live music gig before and it was so exciting for me. The opening solo cello and the immaculate vocals of Annie Lennox were just magical and I was walking on air when we left in the cold night air to walk to the car. We sat in the car park for well over an hour queuing to get out and listened to the radio and sang along while we waited to leave. Neither of us had a mobile phone to call home and tell our parents we would be late and we must have been quite late as the curfew in those days was pretty close to 11pm.

My parents were not relaxed about me going out at all so even being able to go to a gig was a big deal to me. It was only because my friend was going - and driving us - that my mum even agreed. I doubt she even told my dad I had gone - he would have flipped if he'd known ! There was no security check other than to check you didn't have any canned drinks with you - good old Wembley always looking to sell you an overpriced drink and snack. This was in the days before everyone carried bottled water and no one had camera phones so actual cameras would be confiscated at the door to prevent piracy. Ironic when you consider the number of fake t-shirt sellers right outside the doors.

Every holiday at uni I worked as a steward at Wembley. I was on the turnstiles for a Michael Jackson show that never happened, showed people to their seats for Bruce Springsteen, stood on the pitch at the end of the match for the Charity Shield. I ran away from stampeding people when the crowd at a Bollywood spectacular went rogue and stormed the pitch at the stadium. This was far more worrying than the elephant that had earlier taken a tour of the stadium carrying a Bollywood film star on its back.

My regular job was showing people to their seats at Wembley Arena. Cliff Richard fans are far more bolshie than any other audience in my experience. I have no idea why. I fell in love with Prince when I watched him perform on stage at the Arena and I bought a knock off t-shirt after a Simple Minds gig  because - frankly - I wasn't going to pay the price they charged inside the venue. My mum used to pick me up from Wembley because she didn't want me to take the bus on my own late at night. She would park on a side road we had agreed before I left for work and I would always get there in time. We still didn't have mobile phones remember. If anything happened or I was delayed I had no way of letting my family know - unless I went to a phone box and had change to make the call.

On Monday night there were young people going to their first ever gig in a massive venue. Before they went inside the venue they will have had their bags searched for items such as drinks bottles, anything that could be used to record the event (other than mobile phones of course - we all have those now) and sharp objects. The tickets will have had anti-fraud markings on and there will have been professional security firms hired to work at the venue.

As many Ariana Grande fans are so young they will have gone to the show with their parents. They went to see a singer they love and they had a fantastic time. Then a terrible, horrific thing happened. People were killed. Children were killed. Families were separated. Local taxi drivers took children and their families home or to safe places to stay until they could find each other. Local hotels took them in and no one took a penny in return. Mobile phone footage of the terrifying scenes were online almost immediately and the next morning people went to donate blood to help the victims who had survived the bomb blast.

This is the memory that some children and young people will have of their first gig. This generation of kids who go to festivals with their parents. Who listen to music and download online rather than tuning in to the chart show on a Sunday evening while holding the pause button between tracks on a cassette player. These kids who went to watch a young woman who is a feminist and a campaigner for LGBT equality. Who was said to be 'broken' by what happened to her fans on Monday night.

It's not a memory I would wish on anyone.


A fund has been set up to support families who have been affected - you can doante here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/westandtogethermanchester

One banana, two banana, three banana - tour !!

The excitement began building last night when a facebook friend gave the heads up that it looked like a reunion was imminent and then the photo appeared showing the original line up of Keren, Sara and Siobhan. Ok so no one recognised Siobhan as it's been so long since we last saw her and let's face it Keren and Sara haven't changed a bit. Then this morning it was announced that the rumours were true and yes Bananarama are back. I've been humming this all day:

Bananarama were the girl band from my youth. Ok there were the Belle Stars and later the Bangles, but it was all about the Bananas for me. They looked like they'd walked into the BBC straight off a bus and hadn't changed into stage outfits either. No one was styling them back then and it showed. It was an aesthetic I could get right behind as it was a cross between "I made it myself" and "I found it in a skip." Completely achievable and you didn't need to look like you starved yourself to carry it off either. Early Madonna was pretty similar. I would travel into Covent Garden to scour Flip to find a long baggy duster coat or flappy trousers like theirs. Then there were the dungarees. It is entirely thanks to Bananarama that I currently own no less than 6 pairs of dungarees. I can finally admit this without a shred of shame.

Then there were the hook ups. Back in the day pop stars married other pop stars (or models, but this is the story I'm telling right now) So Martin Kemp of Spandau married Shirley off of Pepsi and Shirley, Dee Cee Lee married Paul Weller, him off of Human League married her off of Human League. Siobhan Fahey married Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics and finally Keren Woodward got together with Andrew Ridgeley off of Wham. Keren is still with Andrew and years ago I met Albert Ridgeley at a Rotary fundraising dinner in Cornwall where I was the speaker. He was a lovely man and a keen photographer who shared stories about his lovely family and spoke with great pride about Surfers Against Sewage which was his son Andrew's passion. Then he offered to show me a photo of his lovely daugher-in-law. "Erm, Albert I know what Keren Woodward of Bananarama looks like mate," was what I wanted to say. I mean she was the one all the boys fancied and as the only one with dark hair she was the only one whose look I could in any way emulate.

Even when they went all polished and professional with Stock, Aitken and Waterman they had a sense of humour about it. Half naked men in the music videos and a hilarious charity single with French and Saunders proved they really didn't take themselves too seriously. Well Siobhan did when she left to form Shakespeare's Sister (named after the Smiths song I believe), but they didn't have pretentions that they were creating high art.

They were the original british girl group long before the stage school girls and reality show wannabes. There was no whiff of singing training or performance skills with these girls, but you know it made not an ounce of difference. Whether they were with the Fun Boy Three TOTP trying not to laugh or meeting Robert De Niro and pinching themselves because they didn't know what to say to him they were real. They were normal.

And now they are back. Ok, so the cynical might suggest that a reunion is for purely financial reasons, but let's face it any band who have considered calling their reunion tour 'mood swings' "because that's our time of life" are a much needed tonic in these miserable times. I'll be practising my lame dance moves and rag rolling my hair in preparation.

Who's coming with me ?

Sometimes it snows in April

A year ago today Prince died. It followed months of celebrity deaths which went on to become the overiding theme of 2016 (well that and disastrous election results all round, but less said less tears shed about those).

I loved Prince. If you didn't know that about me, well you do now. I first saw him live when I was working as a steward at Wembley Arena and he performed a number of gigs. I was scheduled to work two of them and I even agreed to work two Cliff Richards so I'd get to work another Prince. Honestly crowd control at a Cliff gig is no mean feat. Those older women will go to great lengths to get up close to the Peter Pan of pop and some had travelled from Sweden just for the gig. Anyway, I digress.

My first Prince gig was an eye opener and from the moment I saw him on stage on I was completely hooked on his music and him. Bear in mind I was an old hand at gig going by this stage and was pretty much a metal head and indie chick so my love for his smooth stylings and insane guitar skills came as a bit of a shock. Carmen Electra was the support act on that tour - Prince named all his early muses from Appollonia to Carmen and later Vanity. They were all incredibly beautiful and he would nurture their talent (such as it was) and then let them go on to do their own thing. He surrounded himself with fantastically talented musicians, there was The Revolution, the New Power Generation and most recently 3rd Eye Girl. He launched the careers of Sheila E, Wendy and Lisa, Jill Jones and brought Mavis Staples to an audience that hadn't heard of her - for shame.

One of the rumours that circulated about Prince during his lifetime was the legendary vault of unreleased music he kept at Paisley Park in Minneapolis. He was a prolific writer and often gifted his songs to others. The Bangles, Sinead O'Conner and Chaka Khan all benefited from songs he'd written that gave them huge success. His perfectionist tendencies meant he played every instrument and had high expectations of his fellow musicians. What it meant for a fan was a mindblowing show every time. From him sitting at the piano playing a haunting rendition of a ballad to the brain melting opening of When Doves Cry he held the entire O2 in this palm every one of the 21 nights he played in 2007. I was there for three of the nights and he played a different set each time - I wish I could have gone to all 21 nights. Unlike the drunk woman I met in the ladies who wailed that she'd missed her favourite song I didn't leave the arena once he was on stage - why would you ? Prince was a mesmeric performer and a party animal. He'd come off stage having played for 2 hours and go on to hold an after party where he'd play for even longer.

The night I went to watch Prince with Hubbie we were the closest I've ever been to the man himself (Prince, not Hubbie) and while my beloved stood with his arms folded watching the performance I was enthralled and entranced and plotting a way to get even closer without getting dragged away by security. I managed to resist the temptation to get into trouble and Hubbie grudgingly admitted he could see how much of a showman Prince was. He did also acknowledge that his skills as a guitarist are underrated by non fans. I have no idea if it's true, but as the apocryphal story has it Eric Clapton was once asked how it felt to be the greatest guitarist in the world and he - apparently - said, "I don't know, ask Prince."

So it's been a year since he died and I still feel the ache of realisation when I hear his voice. Of course I didn't know him, but does it matter ? I am so lucky I got to see Prince as many times as I did. I'll be playing his music today and remembering that.

Your festive playlist sorted - you are welcome

Now the kids are off school and nursery it's the bit of Christmas that's the most testing - two boys aged 3 and 6 are enough to test the best of us. We've had days out as a family, time with each of the boys alone and - by far my favourite - singing Christmas songs in the car. We heard possibly the worst one ever yesterday. It was a version of Last Christmas sung as a melancholy ballad. Now let's face it even though it's a classic it's hardly a great song as it is. As I explained to hubbie it's gone from being the campest anthem featuring terrible knitwear and longing looks over baubles to being a sombre lament on lost love. There are, however, some cracking Christmas songs out there and I'm about to share some with you so you have a playlist for the big day and some tunes to prepare turkey to. You are very welcome.

We played this on our radio show His and Hers last year and now it's being played in Sainsburys. I'm not saying it's because of us but... :

If you don't know this Ramones song don't worry- the Asobi Seksu version is so much better:

You already know the song, but maybe not the band - enjoy:

This is my all time favourite classic if only for Chrissy Hynde dressed as one of the Sally Army:

And of course the song that my son now sings in the car - I am beyond proud of this:

And finally the best of all - who knew the Manics did a festive tune ? I did that's who:

Merry Christmas - see you on the other side ! 

See that gap in the crowd there ? That's me that is.

I am short. I've not grown since the age of 12 - seriously. When my six year old points out how tall he is growing and shows me where he reaches on me (awkwardly he's at boob height now) I say he's going to be as tall as me by the time he is ten years old. I know this and I accept this. There are times when being vertically challenged can be especially trying and the main one is when it comes to gigs.

Being a fan of theatre I am well versed in the head tilt. You know when the person in front is tall, or has big hair or in the case of Rocky Horror is wearing headgear so you have to keep tilting your head to see the stage. I have watched entire shows in two parts. It's not the best. On one memorable occasion I went to watch a film during the day and sat in a seat on the left side in an entirely empty cinema. Two people came in and sat in the seats right in front of me. In a completely empty cinema !! Actually they did me a favour as the movie was terrible, but that's hardly the point here.

I've been a keen gig goer for decades now and I've yet to find a venue that considers the needs of short audience members. Not one. Brixton academy is my personal hell (for so many reasons) and I only go there if absolutely necessary. Hubbie is a normal height person so for him it's not an issue. He is happy to stand where I can see and we have been to most venues at least once so now I know where to aim for so I can a) see the stage and b) not get crushed.

The latter is a genuine issue as on two occasions I'm convinced I've been pretty close to being trampled. The first was at a Metallica gig at the NEC Birmingham (on my 20th birthday) where we arrived early enough to get in front of the barrier (which unbeknownst to me was the mosh pit) before they stopped letting people in there. I twisted bits of toilet paper into makeshift earplugs as advised and suddenly there was a surge of people who had broken through and were making for the stage. I ran to the side and a little while later Neil found me.  Simon had taken an 'every man for himself' stance and was nowhere to be seen - typical ! The second time was at Aston Villa Leisure Centre where I went to see the Pixies with Neil - a pattern is forming here ! We made our way to the front and I could feel the crowd starting to mosh which was ok - to a point. Bear in mind I was the smallest person there and as I had insanely long hair back then I was getting a bit claustraphobic as it was getting pulled and I was being crushed. I put my arms up - the international signal for "small person in need of rescuing down here please security" and got taken out of the crowd. I found a safe spot high up enough to see the stage and stood there until the end of the night. Neil emerged from the sweaty mosh drenched and as he found me I held up the new t-shirt he'd bought at the start of the gig. All was well.

So why does it matter ? Well, here is my usual view at a gig. I've chosen my spot because I can see the stage and Hubbie is also happy there and then the tallest man in the venue just stands right in front of me. What a gent !

I can see the band 

thanks mate

In case you're thinking it's just because it's dark and he just didn't see the small woman standing right there in that spot that he aimed for in the crowd that looked like a gap, it also happens in daylight: 

Ahem *coughs*

Oh there is a band there after all 

I've also been at outdoor events where - unless it's the Milton Keynes Bowl, with it's terribly convenient curvature enabling the most height disadvantaged of us to see the stage - my view is pretty much this:

Can you see who it is yet ? 

So I am hereby sharing the idea I've been considering for many, many years now. If it gets traction I'm going to take it to Dragon's Den - or not. Whatever.

Height ordered venues. I know you've got many questions, but I'll deal with the main ones to start with. If you are under a certain height you get to sit or stand (depending on the gig / venue) in the front portion of the venue. The taller you are the further back your ticket is. That way I don't have big tall man standing right in front of me and he also gets to see the stage perfectly well.

But what if you are short and your partner is not ? I hear you ask. Well, I'm glad you've asked me that actually. You have a choice. If you are here to listen to the music or watch the show you can stand/sit where you can see or you can choose to join your taller partner in their area. Personally so long as I see him in the interval I am fine with not standing next to Hubbie while the band are on. Don't tell him though.

So that's my solution. It's imperfect I'll grant you, but until someone comes up with something better it's the best I've got. Unless I carry around the step my almost 3 year old uses to stand on when he brushes his teeth. He won't need it soon anyway as he's going to be taller than me before long. 

Oh well, at least the next gig I'm going to isn't at Brixton.

I've put on my red shoes David.

This isn't the blog post I was planning to write today. I'm not entirely prepared if I'm honest. All day it's been on my mind and now I'm here sitting at the keyboard and looking for the words.

As I stood at the sink this morning trying to persuade Baby Boy to prise open his mouth so I could brush his teeny tiny teeth Hubbie popped his head round the door.
"Have you heard the news about David Bowie ?"
"No."
"He's died."
"Are you sure ? Show me where you saw that."
He showed me the tweet. I went back to my son's teeth and turned on the radio to hear Nick Robinson talking about it. Yes it was true.
Big Boy heard the news items on the radio and asked me,
"Mummy are you sad about the man who died ?"
"Yes baby. It's a very sad day."

When we heard Golden Years on the radio on the school run I told him it was that man who died singing. Big Boy nodded along and smiled. I knew I had to make a radio show just for my boys so they would know who he was and how diverse and fantastic his musical legacy really is. On Friday night me and Hubbie will be on the radio presenting our tribute show - I always play a Bowie track on my own show and this one will be bitter sweet as I get to play all Bowie, but for the saddest of reasons.

Beckenham, Bromley and Brixton are all taking credit for Bowie. Tonight there is a street party in Brixton and every radio station has played songs by him all day. I tuned into BBC London earlier and heard Robert Elms breaking down as he tried to compose himself to go on air. No one quite believes it.

Hubbie took this photo on his way to work in Brixton, it's become an unofficial shrine:

This evening when I got back from swimming I sat in the car on the drive listening to Lazarus. Before I had to open the door to whatever nonsense might be going on at bedtime. I just couldn't face taking part in real life and wanted to feel the emotion of music performed by a man who knew that most people would listen to it just after he had passed away.

If you look back at the titles of my blog posts you will spot that I often pilfer lyrics and titles from Bowie songs. On one of the rare occasions I baked a cake for the Clandestine Cake Club I called it Rebel Rebel and made it look a bit Ziggy Stardust. Any excuse really. Ok so I wasn't the only one who was in love with Bowie. It wasn't just about the make up and the incredibly attractive man wearing it. It's been a said a lot today that everyone felt like he knew them intimately and that the represented how we felt.

A lot of tributes have concentrated on how he was an innovator and reinvented himself so many times. He was also influential in LGBT politics as a figure who was open and honest about his own sexuality at a time when it just wasn't the done thing. He also challenged racism in the music industry and the preferential treatment given to white artists. The first time I found out about the ill treatment of the indigenous people in Australia was when Bowie made the video for Let's Dance featuring aboriginal actors/dancers. When he married Iman it made me joyous that he loved a beautiful black woman (ok her beauty is irrelevant to her skin colour) as it meant when he was bored of her he would be mine all mine.

London is clearly in mourning for this son of South London and the music he made is the best legacy anyone could hope for.

Personally I think this is pretty cool too:

The playlist of my week: from manic to epic in five days :)

I've had a pretty full on week so I've been blogging less frequently than I had intended. To ensure you don't feel too neglected I've put this week to music. Just for you here's the playlist of my week:

Manic Monday pretty much sums it up for the day I had:

On Tuesday I went to Northern Ireland for the first time this week, so I've chosen Belfast Child:

Wednesday saw me take my second flight of the week - the one that brought me home to my boys:

I was totally shattered, but still taught yoga on Thursday evening - felt so much better for doing it:

And then we have today - an epic Friday and one that deserves a big resounding anthem:

Have a super weekend and I hope it's a bit like this:

Sunday Sounds: Jesus and Mary Chain - Just Like Honey

The lovely Michelle of Purple Pumpkin Blog has started a linky called Sunday Sounds and with my love of music and legendary hated of Sundays this speaks to me :) 

For the inaugural linky I've chosen Jesus and Mary Chain Just Like Honey because me and Hubbie are going to see them this week when they perform the album Psychocandy for the first time in donkey's years. 

This album was a defining one for me. I heard it the Summer before starting sixth form and when I went back to school it was all about the indie music I'd just discovered that spoke to me and made my heart sing. It's such a shame I didn't know anyone else who liked it too, but thankfully I am now married to a wonderful man who loves it just as much as I do and we will be indie kids together on Wednesday night :) 

Thanks to Michelle at the Purple Pumpkin Blog for hosting this fab linky :)

Yes son, Mummy was a rock chick and Daddy was an Indie kid

Tonight me and Hubbie went to watch the Wedding Present perform at the Clapham Grand in London. I'm pretty sure they were the first band we went to watch together (although Hubbie insists it was someone else I'm sticking to my theory). It was at the Concorde 2 in Brighton and we went with his lovely childhood friend Helen and her partner Jolyon. Sadly Helen passed away after a short and very rapidly progressing cancer diagnosis not long after that so we have especially fond memories of this gig.

In an homage to that first time we go to watch Dave Gedge and his band during the August Bank Holiday weekend when they take over the Concorde 2 for a mini festival called Edge of the Sea - yes he's missed a trick here by not calling it 'Gedge of the Sea' hasn't he ?

The reason I mention this now is that we love music and it's been a big part of our lives as a couple. Going to watch music together, playing music on our radio show and making music with our son is what makes us happiest. Before we were parents we could spend long hours wandering round record stores and pondering which tunes to play on long road trips. Now we are ordered to 'turn the music off Mummy, I can't hear my movie.'

So, when that holy grail of free babysitting and co-ordinating calendars happens upon us we grab the opportunity with both hands. Having the chance to go out and relive our misspent student years watching a band together gives us much needed relief from parenting a belligerent four year old. It also means that for one night at least we're not just Mummy and Daddy.

We get to be a couple of music-loving students again.

No we haven't been drinking - we really are this fuzzy :)

The phantom flan flinger was nowhere to be seen...

After ten years together Hubbie has devised the perfect celeb couple name for us. You know the ones they use in magazines like Heat and on Popbitch to describe people who are dating, married or just hanging out together. There have been many variations: Brangelina (Brad and Angelina), K-Patz (Kristen thingy and Robert Patterson) and of course back in the day one of the first was Bennifer (Ben Affleck and J-Lo). Well, we were thinking, what would ours be and Hubbie nailed it with the eminently suitable: Tiswaz. It also has the additional benefit of encompassing the silliness that keeps us together. We don't actually throw gunge at each other, but we do have silly catchphrases and characters with daft voices.

How we are now

I was amazed this week when I posted this pic on Facebook of us having lunch and almost 50 people (some of whom I don't even know) liked it. We don't usually celebrate the anniversary of when we met, but Hubbie had a random day off this week and with the boy at school we decided to go for lunch. If you've been with me a while you will know that I will use any excuse to make an occasion out of something so I nominated it as an 'anniversary lunch.'

Hmm yummy :)

Well, why not ? I mean, I clearly remember the first time I saw Hubbie across the classroom of the evening class in journalism that we were both taking. He was hunched over his desk chewing a pencil and was wearing a suit - clearly straight from work. He looked ever so young - didn't we all - and was a bit of a know-it-all. I know, I know, I can talk.

We bonded during breaks talking about music - I was also learning to play guitar - and politics. I discovered we had a shared love of travel and had been to the same gigs - if not at the same time. Our shared competitive instinct meant we would go on to become pub quiz regulars. Family is important to both of us and ours live far enough away for us to miss them and near enough to get to if we want to see them.

The main thing we've learned in our ten years together is that we are always on the same side. While we may not always agree we are loyal and supportive to each other. Our boy is rapidly learning this ! I'm not sure that we have any special knowledge to impart in our new role as the newest celeb couple on the block, Tiswaz.

Other than make sure you laugh a lot. With each other, at each other, about each other.

Ask my boy and he'll tell you - we even laugh at him :)

The way we were then :)