Britmums live Keynote - I did it !!!

It's possible I'm the last person to post about Britmums live as it was over a month ago now. Last year I posted immediately after and it wasn't until a few weeks later that I really had processed how much I'd gained from being at the biggest blogging event of the year. This year I've taken some time to really get some perspective on the weekend and how much I learned from it all. 

My badge was as wonky as I was on friday night !

There were some welcome changes from last year including a covered area outside the Brewery in East London so that we could meet and greet at the start and during breaks. Considering how beautiful and sunny it was the outside option was much appreciated. It also meant I got to speak to some people who I might not have met otherwise - those bloggers I've been chatting to on Twitter for ages and who I wasn't sure I'd find if they didn't look exactly like their avatar.

Having been before I did have a wish list of things I wanted to achieve this time so I was a bit better prepared and not as 'rabbit caught in headlights' about it all. Here are some of the most memorable aspects for me.

Literary agent speed date: I bottled out of this last year and regretted it so this year I took a deep breath and went through the double doors to talk to lovely Louise. She helped me to focus my ideas and to think about a compelling story rather than the gimmick that would sell my book. All I have to do now is finish it !

the secret ingredient is beetroot

Ooh it's a Vitamix !

Brands: I've always felt a bit awkward about talking to brands, but this year I decided to meet and greet during the quieter bits before lunch and at the start of the conference. I talked to them all and worked out who I could find a fit with. I also got my son a football and bucket and spade for our holiday so that was good. The cloakroom came in handy for storing all my goodies while I went to the sessions.

Sessions: I may just have chosen unwisely, but I found the sessions that I attended were pretty much the same as last year and one was just unintelligible. I won't say which one to be fair to the speaker. I'd been in two minds whether to go to Nigel Camp's sessions on video technique and wished I hadn't missed them in favour of the ones I chose. I collared him and mentioned I was sorry I hadn't gone and he kindly offered to give me and my lovely friend Louise some top tips from his session right there ! He did a personalised video tutorial for us outside in the lovely covered area, so I'm delighted I read his badge and chatted to him during the break. Thanks Nigel, you were fab :)

Me and lovely Jen - hic ! 

Thanks to the lovely wine sponsors me and my pal Jen were nicely happy for the awards ceremony on Friday evening. I hadn't stayed for the BiBs last year as I was so tired, but I'm so glad I did this year, not least as I know a few of the winners so I was even more delighted for them. A lot of bloggers were staying over and met for dinner, but living so close I went home on Friday night. Before I did that, though, I ran all the way to the Betsey Trotwood pub in Farringdon to catch Sara Pascoe doing her Edinburgh warm up show. I was so glad I caught the end of her set, she is fab.

It was up and out early on Saturday morning for another day and even at 8am as I walked to the Brewery I could feel the butterflies in my tummy - yes the nerves had already started !!

Bloggers Keynote: I have spoken to a fair few audiences in my life. Some have been a bit scary. None have made me quite as wobbly or nervous as the Britmums one. I know how to reduce a room full of people to tears - I used to do impassioned speeches about the orphans and refugee children I worked with overseas. I struggle, however with the pressure to make people laugh and gave up my stand up aspirations because of the fear that no one would laugh. The post I read was a bit preachy and a bit teachy and I hoped it had a few laughs in it. All day my fears were:

• When I get up there will be a smattering of polite applause as no one knows who I am
• When I'm talking there will be a low hum of conversation as it's just not interesting enough
• When I walk off the stage, it will be to silence and tumbleweed.

In reality I was so incredibly terrified that I barely noticed what was happening while I spoke and all I could think about when I watched it back was that I hadn't said 'Thank you' to the audience for listening at the end. I did it though and thanks to Nigel Camp I saw how many people kindly listened to me. I am so glad I didn't see that before I got up to speak !

Heads, shoulders knees and boobs... 

The Good Enough Mums Club: We had a sneak preview of the show with some songs and dance numbers and this came hot on the heels of my mini retreat with Pippa from The Story of Mum. The retreat was a much needed boost reminding me that I am indeed good enough :)

The main thing I gained from being at Britmums this year was coming face to face with the reality of my "imposter syndrome." That sense that you are not meant to be somewhere or you're going to be found out at any moment as a fake. I still feel like I don't fit in. It is entirely like being at school where the 'cool girls' all hang around together and I'm not part of the group. Despite trying far too hard to fit in.

I also learned that wearing a tiara is a short cut to feeling amazing and have kept mine to wear whenever I need a little lift. Thanks Emma (Freud) for that - your keynote was great and sitting in a room filled with women (and men) wearing tiaras made my day :)

I am wearing a tiara - oh yes I am :) 

If you're umming and aahing about whether or not to go to Britmums next year I'd say go and get your ticket now while it's at super early bird price.

If you don't know anyone else there you can always come over and say hello to me :)  

Inspiring women: International Women's Day #lastingchange

On my radio show this morning I shared some virtual postcards from Annie Spratt containing stories about the work funded by Comic Relief in Tanzania to support women running their own small businesses. Annie was in Tanzania with Tanya Barrow and Penny Alexander to visit women who are supporting their own families and bringing a helping hand to others who they employ and supply goods and services to. This is part of my involvement with Team Honk and the wonderful fellow bloggers who are currently carrying a baton from Lands End to John O'Groats to raise money for Sport Relief.

I thought I'd share my #lastingchange virtual postcard with you below: 

Dyeing fabric safely

• Eliafura makes the most beautiful batiks and tie dyed material.  With the support of the Gatsby Trust Eliafura has registered her business and learned important health and safety rules around the chemicals she uses.   Eliafura now also trains other women in the village who bring material to her and she shows them how to create these beautiful patterns.   They sell easily to not only local schools where teachers like to buy them but also overseas. We bought her entire stock because we loved them all so much and are now working out how to sell them on so we can complete the circle of donation, funding, training, selling, donating. 

You can be sure I'll be buying some of those fabrics and giving them pride of place in my home :)

In my career I've worked with various overseas charities and I've seen how amazing and life changing it can be to give someone an opportunity to support themselves. Women like Bertha or Eliafura who have the drive to work for themselves and to succeed in business with the additional benefit of employing others. It is the principle on which the Grameen Bank was based. This is the microcredit scheme that gave small loans to women in Bangladesh who then went on to feed not only their own families, but to employ others who were then able to feed theirs and so on. 

When it was started the basis of lending to women was explained by Grameen founder Mohammed Yunus as being about giving the power to those who were marginalised either by virtue of poverty, gender or lack of education. The Nobel Laureate also reported that not only did the loans have an exponentially higher rate of early repayment than bank loans (which were not available to most of the women), but on a cultural level there was also a higher chance that the money would benefit the community. Where men were borrowing money and using it for themselves woman were using a smaller amount of money to bake bread to sell then reinvest in more ingredients to bake more bread which eventually became a bakery business employing other women. This is a simplistic explanation, but it worked. 

One of the stories I told on my show today was a revelation to me. It began in 2010 led by women from the neighbouring countries Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, which have been torn apart by the worst atrocities of war that the world has seen in recent years. Women from opposing sides of war in these communities came together on a bridge adjoining the two countries in a plea for peace and to show that they could build bridges of hope for the future. Their action sparked a massive global movement to stand in solidarity with women around the world touched by war. It is a beautiful and touching idea. 

It reminded me of an organisation of women that I worked with in Rwanda that began when one widow of the genocide sat under a tree. The next day another woman joined her and the next day another until eventually many women came together to sit under the tree and share their tears, fears, hopes and dreams of how to go on when they had seen so much bloodshed and pain. Community organisations are an amazing force for good and for women who have been disempowered, brutalised and left to fend for themselves they can provide a lifeline.

I've concentrated on women overseas, but I am - of course - aware that women in the UK also benefit from the work of charity and support each other and achieve amazing things. I'll share with you a quiz by one of my favourite feminists that might help put International Women's Day into context. 

Bridget Christie's Quiz

London Calling: Honkopoly is a comin' !!

In case you hadn't heard Team Honk is back and this time it's bigger and there are more of us !! 

From Sunday 12 January – Sunday 23 March, over 250 bloggers from across the country will come together as Team Honk to take part in a baton relay from Land’s End to John O’Groats.  Between us we will cover over 3,000 miles and hope to raise £20,000 for Sport Relief to help change lives at home and abroad.

The baton arrives in London from the St. Albans team on Tuesday 4th February, and the following day over 25 bloggers will be taking a Monopoly themed route round London landmarks with a camera following us. We start at the Comic Relief HQ in Vauxhall and take in various points on the Monopoly board as we walk, scooter, cycle and push buggies for 15 miles. In the evening a few of us will be taking the baton to its next handover in Fleet, Hampshire, where Mummy Barrow has promised us pizza - I've been dieting so I'm really looking forward to this the most of all :)

With the bossiness that only Mums can muster a route has been decided upon, meeting points, flyers and posters arranged and outfits agreed. Packed lunches are being planned and travel is being sorted. It's like a massive school trip with all the girls who used to sit at the back of the bus twirling their hair and giggling only we'll be wandering round London looking like a monopoly themed hen party - yes it's Honkopoly !!

Top hats have been purchased, Sport Relief onesies ordered (and taken up as they come up big apparently) and various bits and pieces that make up monopoly are being assembled in preparation for our jaunt around London a week today. I'm going to be the one in the striped onesie lugging a bag marked SWAG as I'm "Go to Jail" - a humorous take on the job I did before I had my son working with the prison service. Clearly I don't like to keep things simple as I'm also going to be riding an adult scooter kindly donated by Micro-scooters from point to point. This might prove tricky in all that get up so that has to be worth some sponsorship surely ?

We went to spread the word about what we're doing, so this Saturday morning my radio show is all about Honkopoly and I'll be interviewing two thirds of the London organising committee: Sarah (Grenglish) and Sophie (Franglaise Mummy) and one third of the the Head Honkers: Tanya (Mummy Barrow). You can listen live online at www.croydonradio.com on Saturday morning from 10am.

There will be social media covering our antics all day on Wed 5th Feb so keep an eye on Twitter and Facebook as well as on the local news (just in case !) or you might spot us around London somewhere. If you do come up and say hello and please do consider sponsoring our efforts.

I'm delighted to announce that we've already beaten our London sponsorship target of £500, but we're aiming so much higher than that. Any amount donated will make a difference to the lives of those in need and here are some ways in which the money could be used:

•  £1 could provide a hot meal for a child in the UK living in extreme poverty

•  £5 could pay for a mosquito net to protect a mother and her baby in Africa from contracting malaria while they sleep

•  £10 could enable an older person in the UK who just lost someone they love to attend a group activity

•  £25 could run a sports session for disabled children in the UK, giving them the chance to play with other young people

•  £100 could feed 200 children living on the streets in India for one day

•  £300 could provide a water point in the slums of Tanzania, giving hundreds of families access to safe, clean water

•  £500 could provide six months of support for a young person in the UK with mental health issues.

If you would like to sponsor our efforts you can do it online here: Honkopoly

Or if you prefer you can donate by text: Text HONK to 70005 and donate £5 to Sport Relief

The first ever Sainsbury’s Sport Relief Games take place from Friday 21st to Sunday 23rd March 2014. The public can join the fun and games by running, swimming or cycling their way to raising cash at over a thousand venues around the country, including the landmark events at Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park.

As one of the biggest fundraising events, Sport Relief brings the entire nation together to get active raise cash and change lives. The money raised by the public is spent by Comic Relief to help transform the lives of some of the poorest and most disadvantaged people both at home in the UK and across the world.

Today I'm giving thanks… for Christmas :o)

I went along to the Britmums Xmas do on Monday which I was very excited about as I don't have a work do any more what with not having a job right now. It was a great chance to catch up with some bloggers I know and to meet a lot of others who I don't know. The room was absolutely crammed with goodies and I have to admit that I did wonder how I'd find any room for fruit cake and mince pies so early on a Monday, but I did manage a mini mince pie and a chilled glass of very nice white wine too.

Morrisons provided the food and drinks and Neil Nugent who is one of the chefs there talked us through some of the most common errors that people make when preparing Christmas food. I took away these top tips:

• Never use foil on the turkey - it steams it and causes overcooking and dryness.
• Pick up the turkey by it's legs and shake them to relax it. I say this as a vegetarian - honestly, I'm not making it up - it means the heat will distribute more evenly round the bird.
• When making roast potatoes use Maris Pipers and don't boil the spuds, just simmer them so that you don't have mushy roasties.
• You can prepare all the veg before the big day and keep it in the fridge or freezer (according to Neil the freezer is a chef's best friend !)

The festive feel of the morning was helped by some little ones who were running around entertaining us. My favourite was a toddler wearing a santa hat who kept stealing the limelight from Jen and Neil when they were speaking. I hadn't been feeling too Christmassy before this event, but I've since booked my boy in to have breakfast with Father Christmas, he's going to a meet Santa event and we're going to see Reindeer and hopefully go on a husky sled ride too. The tree will be going up on Sunday and I've got far too many advent calendars !

I came away from the do with a stash of goodies including a chocolate Rudolph cake complete with chocolate antlers. My son loved the decorate your own gingerbread trees and the mini sponge cakes in Santa, reindeer and snowman shapes are a lovely alternative to fruit cake.

I was really surprised and inspired by the range on offer and will definitely be checking out the Christmas goodies in our local Morrisons.

Thanks Britmums for such a fab event :o)

Keep calm, I've got a big bag and I'm not afraid to fill it (with cupcakes)

!This time last year I was cacking myself wondering why I'd decided to go to the first Mumsnet Blogfest. I didn't know anyone else who was going and I was terrified I'd stick out like a useless amateur in a room full of technical wizards in amazingly co-ordinated outfits with perfect figures and no evidence of mummyhood other than a much cooler bag than me.

As I waddled over to the venue very early and awaited the onslaught of power mums I was quite surprised to find welcoming, friendly normal women quite happily noshing the pastries that I'd expected they'd be avoiding. My first conversation was with a lovely blogger who's based in Italy and had just been published (intimidating much ?), but everyone I met was really friendly and I learned so much all day. I had been going through an identity crisis wondering whether my blog was actually being read by anyone and whether or not there was any point in continuing. I left with renewed confidence that I could do new things and try to build and audience without changing the essential nature of what I enjoyed writing.

I'm really looking forward to going again this year now I know a lot more bloggers and am less timid about promoting my blog, I've learned how to use linkys (well this post is on one isn't it so that's one skill I didn't have last year !). It's a great day with so much going on and there was not a moment that I wasn't learning something new, including how many cupcakes I can fit into my handbag - a lot if you must know !

The sessions are so great I want to borrow Hermione's ability to be in more than one class at once so I don't have to miss any of them. As well as looking forward to the sessions I'm also going to see some blogger friends who I've chatted to online and some I've even met in real life. Some are even presenting the sessions - ooh get me with my blogger celeb pals :o)

So my top tips if it's your first Blogfest ?

1. Dress how you like, it's not a fashion show and no one is judging you.
2. Bring a very big bag - there is so much to pick up and the goodie bag is enormous !!
3. Take a break from whatever nonsensical food fad you're following for just one day. The cakes, the lunch and the drinks are so wonderful you'd be crazy to miss out on them.
4. Bring a tablet with you and don't lug a massive laptop along - it was heavy and I didn't use it at all !! .
5.  There will be wifi.
6.  Tweet while you're there - it's a great way to meet and greet other bloggers who are sitting in the same room and it's how I got talking to the fabulous Mammasaurus !
7. Don't try and do everything - the sessions will be online later so you can watch any you missed
8. If you're bringing a baby seek me out and I'll be more than happy to hold and hug while you go to the loo or drink your tea - honestly !!
9. Don't be afraid to talk to the brands that are there - they will work with a range of bloggers and you don't have to be the Bloggess to get their interest
10. Make friends & have fun !!

I'll see you there :o)