I had blonde ambition because of Madonna

How is it possible that Madonna is 60 today ? I mean I realise it's perfectly normal and had they lived Prince and Michael Jackson would also be looking at cashing in their over 50s plans and popping out for the early bird oap special in the local Harvester. I guess I just don't see Madonna as 'older' and of course 60 is no longer old anyway.

I've loved her since I was a teenager and was influenced by her in so many ways. The hair; rags, curly and messy, the platinum blonde phase I wish I could have carried off. The fashion; thrift store clothing, ankle boots, leather and lace. The attitude, her perseverance and  let's face it the self confidence. Of course she has her faults - who doesn't ? - but I honestly believe the influence she has had on many women (and men) of my generation is profound. So here - in no particular order - are my top ten reasons for celebrating Madonna.

1. She is a genuine poor kid made good. She literally went from rags to riches. Ok the rags were in her hair, but you get the point.

2. Mads is a fierce advocate of the gays - ok she wasn't the first, but she certainly wasn't shy about talking about sexuality. When her book 'Sex' was published my friend Jo pre-ordered it and when it was delivered we sat in her bedroom at uni looking through the photos in awe even though most of them had already been published by papers to prove how depraved she was.

3. I made my family come home early from temple one Sunday afternoon so I could watch the Blonde Ambition tour on an italian cable channel. I can't believe my Mum actually did that for me.

4. She is fluent in French and Italian - this woman is no thickie. She sent her kids to a french speaking school and values education very highly.

5. As a parent M is very strict - I like that she doesn't take any crap from her kids. It's far too easy to give your kids everything when you are loaded, it's much more difficult to say no.

6. Talking of saying which - Madonna doesn't need anyone to like her. Remember that scene in the movie 'Truth or Dare' ? Where Kevin Costner comes to see her backstage and she makes a gag face ? See she don't give a damn.

7.  As a business woman she has built an empire and maintained it. Other singers have been ripped off by accountants, record companies and even their partners, but M takes no shit from nobody. (sic)

8. Her acting is abysmal, but I did really enjoy her turn as Karen's flakey roomate in Will and Grace. It was self-effacing and hilarious.

9. When Madonna falls in love she gives it all she's got. Famously her love for Sean Penn has never really gone away. She turned herself into an English lady for Guy Ritchie. For a woman who is so strong and independent she falls hard for the men she loves.

10. The woman can dance. That is all. Watch any pop starlet and you will see her moves all over them.

So those are the highlights from my history with Madonna. It's not an exhaustive list by any means. I mean I didn't even talk about the music videos (stunning), the chameleon-like style changes (epic), the adoptions (best not), the feuds with other singers (legendary) and the fact that even after all these years she's still able to terrify with a look. I can't help, but admire the woman for that.

It ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it

Last night I went to see a band from my childhood. As I surveyed the room full of middle aged women and men - and a fair few gay men - I checked out the fashions in the room. You see before I left the house it took ages to decide what to wear. I wanted to 'dress up,' but it was really cold and I didn't want to freeze. What I'd forgotten of course was how hot and sweaty it gets in a venue during a gig. The long sleeved striped top and carpenter jeans I'd chosen caused me to feel fair overheated, but that might have been down to the dancing. Hubbie had expressed a wish for me to dress like this: 

Well, he is a man after all ! So I laughed and went upstairs to change into something far more suitable for a woman of my stature and age. As I watched the big screen behind the bananas showing their old music videos it reminded me that pretty much all my fashion choices in my teens were informed by Siobhan Fahey - and later Madonna. Okay so it didn't look the same on chubby asian me as it did on tall and slim pop starlets, but they had a look that was accessible and - by their own admission - thrown together. These girls weren't styled by anyone - well not until the Stock, Aitken & Waterman days anyway. Before that anyone could dress like a pop star. 

I mean this look was one of my staples - checked shirt, braces and pleated trousers. Yep did that. 

Then there were the dungarees. I have revisited this look in recent years, but back in the day I did in fact own a white pair and can honestly admit I must have looked more like a pint sized painter / decorator than a member of a pop band. 

If you grew up in the eighties you will remember the big hair. Oh yes it was big. I had very long hair back then, but I still tried to make it big and would braid it overnight to make it all crimped and wavy, then tie it up with scarves or rags. It didn't quite resemble this fab look, but I did try. 

Then there were the hats. I love a hat me and in the eighties we had the fantastic Mel and Kim big hat look and of course I had one. It didn't look quite as cool as this, but I like to think I was rocking it in my own way. 

So by the time I was at uni my clothing choices were getting more indie and less pop like, but I could still look to my girls for the cool edgy look I was going for. Look at the fingerless gloves, the red lipstick and the big coat - that's hardcore indie as far as I'm concerned. 

When I turned to my gig buddy and told her that I dressed like Bananarama for most of my teenage years she patted me on the shoulder and said, "never mind." Actually I loved being reminded of my scruffy, experimental, cheap and cheerful teenage looks. It was a bit of nostalgia and reminded me how much effort I put into my appearance. Just as the band have grown up and their look is far more sleek now, I like to think I have developed and grown into my middle aged style.

Mind you in my heart I still want to dress like this.

One banana, two banana, three banana - tour !!

The excitement began building last night when a facebook friend gave the heads up that it looked like a reunion was imminent and then the photo appeared showing the original line up of Keren, Sara and Siobhan. Ok so no one recognised Siobhan as it's been so long since we last saw her and let's face it Keren and Sara haven't changed a bit. Then this morning it was announced that the rumours were true and yes Bananarama are back. I've been humming this all day:

Bananarama were the girl band from my youth. Ok there were the Belle Stars and later the Bangles, but it was all about the Bananas for me. They looked like they'd walked into the BBC straight off a bus and hadn't changed into stage outfits either. No one was styling them back then and it showed. It was an aesthetic I could get right behind as it was a cross between "I made it myself" and "I found it in a skip." Completely achievable and you didn't need to look like you starved yourself to carry it off either. Early Madonna was pretty similar. I would travel into Covent Garden to scour Flip to find a long baggy duster coat or flappy trousers like theirs. Then there were the dungarees. It is entirely thanks to Bananarama that I currently own no less than 6 pairs of dungarees. I can finally admit this without a shred of shame.

Then there were the hook ups. Back in the day pop stars married other pop stars (or models, but this is the story I'm telling right now) So Martin Kemp of Spandau married Shirley off of Pepsi and Shirley, Dee Cee Lee married Paul Weller, him off of Human League married her off of Human League. Siobhan Fahey married Dave Stewart from the Eurythmics and finally Keren Woodward got together with Andrew Ridgeley off of Wham. Keren is still with Andrew and years ago I met Albert Ridgeley at a Rotary fundraising dinner in Cornwall where I was the speaker. He was a lovely man and a keen photographer who shared stories about his lovely family and spoke with great pride about Surfers Against Sewage which was his son Andrew's passion. Then he offered to show me a photo of his lovely daugher-in-law. "Erm, Albert I know what Keren Woodward of Bananarama looks like mate," was what I wanted to say. I mean she was the one all the boys fancied and as the only one with dark hair she was the only one whose look I could in any way emulate.

Even when they went all polished and professional with Stock, Aitken and Waterman they had a sense of humour about it. Half naked men in the music videos and a hilarious charity single with French and Saunders proved they really didn't take themselves too seriously. Well Siobhan did when she left to form Shakespeare's Sister (named after the Smiths song I believe), but they didn't have pretentions that they were creating high art.

They were the original british girl group long before the stage school girls and reality show wannabes. There was no whiff of singing training or performance skills with these girls, but you know it made not an ounce of difference. Whether they were with the Fun Boy Three TOTP trying not to laugh or meeting Robert De Niro and pinching themselves because they didn't know what to say to him they were real. They were normal.

And now they are back. Ok, so the cynical might suggest that a reunion is for purely financial reasons, but let's face it any band who have considered calling their reunion tour 'mood swings' "because that's our time of life" are a much needed tonic in these miserable times. I'll be practising my lame dance moves and rag rolling my hair in preparation.

Who's coming with me ?

I was fashionable in the 80s - no really I was

I used to consider myself fashionable. Admittedly this was back in the eighties when it was ok to wear baggy trousers and oversized tops in bright colours, Converse baseball boots, bright make up
and... hang on, hold the phone, it would appear all of this is now back in fashion !!

Yes, those clothes I adored that my much younger sisters teased me about so mercilessly until eventually I gave them all away are not only back in, but actually the height of fashion !?!?!? "Whachoo talkin' about Willis ?"

Matching shoes

Well I think it is fair to say I'm not the age or shape to wear those clothes any more - not least as I stood next to a young woman on the tram the other day who had a wedge hairstyle, peg trousers, chain loafers and pink shimmer lipstick (cannot confirm if it was from Rimmel though) and I was instantly transported back to sixth form, Chelsea Girl, Miss Selfridge make up and Dolcis shoes. Ah the memories. I was the first in my school to have a yellow canvas fashion rucksack and a homemade satin puffball skirt because I'd seen both on the Clothes Show. I was Jeff Banks' biggest fan and Warehouse was the 'posh' shop on the high street from which my best work suit came. I wore it for about 20 years before I finally gave in and retired it.

Of course now I'm a lot older, I'm a Mum and most days I'm lucky if I leave the house wearing shoes that match. I wear jeans almost every day and because I swim so much I choose clothes that are easy to wear pre or post dip. I went for a coffee with a lovely fellow blogger (and proper writer) the other week and she told me that the striped top is a Mumsy cliche - almost all of my tops are striped !! I was horrified. How did I transform from that young woman obsessed with fashion to this middle-aged sitcom Mum with a full wardrobe and still nothing to wear ? I knew I needed a revamp. And I knew I'd have to go and see a professional. So, I made an appointment for a personal styling session at Peter Jones in Sloane Square. It's the poshest John Lewis store I know and it's where we had our wedding list so I know it pretty well. I've never bought clothes there though.

My appointment was with Yvonne and she started by bringing me a lovely pot of tea and we had a little chat about the colours I like and the event I wanted to dress for. I told her I had a public speaking event I wanted to look nice for - I'll be reading one of my posts out at Britmums Live and who needs any excuse to dress up ? Lovely Yvonne went off with a clothes rail to choose some frocks and I sat and made use of the free wifi.

So many pretty frocks to try on 

The rail she came back with was loaded with amazing dresses and some matching jackets from ranges I've never shopped from before. She also brought me some lovely shoes to try on with the dresses. I only ever wear fit flops or boots so it was a bit of a trial putting on clothes and heels all at once, but hey what's life without a bit of a challenge eh ?

Yvonne told me I am different sizes on the top and bottom with narrow hips so I can wear a smaller size on my bottom half. This explains why I'm forever pulling my jeans up as I always buy the same size in everything regardless of how big it is and I never try on jeans in shops as it's just too demoralising. I was amazed how some of the fitted dresses really made me look shapely and she explained that my waist is my best feature - what ? are you serious lady ?

Beautiful and flattering

So, I whittled the selection down to three dresses that I absolutely love and as I've just had my birthday that was pretty poor timing really. They are completely different from my usual choice of clothing and I'm not sure I'd actually wear them often enough to justify the price tag, but how lovely to know that I can look that fab at my matronly stage of life.

I took off the high heels and gave them back to Yvonne. As I put my daggy boots back on I thanked her for her time and went back out into rainy Sloane Square.

I'm no fashionista, but man it's nice to pretend for a couple of hours.

wolf whistle time :)

Britmums Live, I'm coming to get ya !!!

Immediately after Britmums Live last year I did two things (ok if you count raiding the enormous goodie bag we got then I did three, but I digress as usual) Firstly, I wrote a blog post about the two day conference and how much fun I had and then I went online and booked a ticket for this year. I decided then and there that it had to be a staple part of my blog life to attend so I can categorically state that I will be going to Britmums Live in two weeks - YAY !!!

My souvenir from last year

The first conference I went to I was a newbie so it was just all so overwhelming to me. I panicked about what to wear, what to bring and if I'd have anyone to talk to. It was all fine and I came back armed with a head spinning with ideas about self-hosting, frequency of posting, social media presence and basically it ramped up my blogging life from snail's pace to the speed of a family cat - not mine, he's practically immobile most days.

Now when I attend a conference I try to focus on one thing instead of taking a scattergun approach to which sessions to attend.  The last conference I went to I was thinking about what I need to do to raise the profile of my blog and my writing generally and the sessions I went to all supported this aim. On the train home I made pages of notes with actions that I'm still working my way through.

Ooh snazzy !! 

I haven't decided what my theme is for Britmums this year as there are so many brilliant sessions planned, but it will probably be photography and how my blog looks. I love taking photos and have just started making videos so I'd like to learn more about how to do this better. I'll be bringing an iPad mini with me to make notes, record important information and to take pics of other peoples' fab outfits. Talking of which...

No more sartorial panic for me this year. I booked a personal styling session with John Lewis at the swanky Peter Jones store in Sloane Square so I don't look as baggy and 'Mumsy' as I did last year. I got some great ideas and a wish list of frocks I cannot afford, but it also gave me a bit of a boost to try on clothes that I wouldn't feel confident wearing usually. The lovely Yvonne brought me some proper classy frocks to try on and I even looked slim in some of them !! I will need persuading to move away from my original plans of what to wear though. My idea was to wear a Debbie Harry photo print dress on Friday because it's baggy and sort of ok for the evening do and a Ramones t-shirt and slim fit jeans on the Saturday as it's casual and funky and me and Sonya Cisco can be Indie/Punk matrons together :)

This is the first year I've really thought about sponsorship and have been lucky enough to agree a sponsorship with an amazing company that works with pre-school children. Totstars run sports classes for pre-schoolers including, football, tennis and basketball with coaches who are fun, enthusiastic and great with children of all levels from shy to outgoing. My boy loves them and started at 20 months. He's grown so much and being in classes helped develop his confidence, his language and - of course - his hand eye co-ordination and ball skills. I'm delighted to represent a brand that has great values promoting positive actions, activity, healthy eating and having fun. I'll be writing about Totstars in a specific post, but for now I'd like to thank Coach Thuli :)

Stop Press: I've been invited to be a keynote speaker - eek !! I've done a lot of public speaking before, but never to peers like this and certainly not to a room of women who I feel like I know really well. If it's anything like last year it's also going to be filmed and streamed so my boy and Hubbie can watch it - hopefully live. Gulp !! I'd better wear something nice.

A tribe called parents

On Sunday we went for a family fun afternoon in trendy Balham. I mention this because there are areas of London that I find a bit intimidating - Balham isn't one of them, but the relevance of geography will become apparent. The kind of areas that house the trendy types that out-of-towners think all Londoners are. I grew up in West London and for a few years in the mid seventies we lived in Greenwich - before it was gentrified. I have an aversion to North London and the East End leaves me cold so I rarely bump into the painfully cool inhabitants that typify those places.

Fixo

Except on Sunday. The noise of screeching children and the general din meant it took me a few minutes to realise that the venue was filled with hipster dads. You know the chaps who wear needlecord drainpipe jeans and questionable facial hair. In this day and age there's no excuse for a moustache unless you're a Sikh, an eccentric or into steampunk. If you're going for the full effect it has to be a handlebar style groomed with old school wax or the stuff my Dad used when we were growing up - Fixo. It made his beard all stiff and scratchy, but it also meant it survived all sorts of freak weather. Anyway, I digress.

You see the hipster style isn't genuine eccentricity it's finely created artifice - the 'devil may care' casual look that eschews the appearance of effort. Oh this old shirt ? Oh yes I got it in a thrift store in Brooklyn and this belt was made by a designer friend who sells out of her loft in Shoreditch. As I quietly curse under my breath that Next do one just like it. The Dads were milling with their offspring being all laid back while Oberon, Mylo or Bunty ran amok. One Dad gave up trying to get his boy to share the tunnel that he was gripping onto and left him to "fight it out" with another boy. I was willing him to fall into the puddle of pee left by the child of the man who had been bending over and putting his butt in my face for about half an hour before shuffling off to "tell Mummy your tights are all wet Araminta." Oh how I laughed.

On the other hand hipster women I quite like - the fakery of low maintenance and sensible shoes seems suitably empowering and it's a cute look. I admire the nerdy glasses and satirical cardigan wearing. As someone who needs glasses and whose cardigans are for comfort and warmth I accept that I am more hip replacement than hipster, but that's ok.

Pre-parent Boho me

You see it's all about tribes and being a parent doesn't give you automatic membership to the 'fabulous parent' tribe. In my late teens and early twenties I was all about tie dye, fringed skirts and sensible shoes. At university all my friends were the same in our goth/greebo/indie stylings. When Boho fashion came along I was delighted that I was already equipped for that - albeit quite a few pounds heavier.

Since becoming a Mum I've gone from Boho Chick to Hobo Chic. I was never trendy, but I did once care about what I wore and how I looked. I'm hoping to get back to some semblance of pride in my appearance again. Out of trackie bottoms and into slimline jeans. From hooded sweat tops to fitted shirts. I'm wearing scarves again and sometimes I even remember to put on a watch and some jewellery. I've no idea if it's a look, but I'm working on it.

I'm hoping there's a tribe that will have me - any takers ?