For the love of music

I can't recall the exact date of my first gig, but I know that it was at Wembley Arena at some point in 1987. My friend Nicki took us in a TR7 that her stepdad had built and given to her - he was an engineer for British Airways and it was his pet project. She drove us to the arena and parked in the massive car park and we went in to watch the Eurythmics I think. I hadn't been to a live music gig before and it was so exciting for me. The opening solo cello and the immaculate vocals of Annie Lennox were just magical and I was walking on air when we left in the cold night air to walk to the car. We sat in the car park for well over an hour queuing to get out and listened to the radio and sang along while we waited to leave. Neither of us had a mobile phone to call home and tell our parents we would be late and we must have been quite late as the curfew in those days was pretty close to 11pm.

My parents were not relaxed about me going out at all so even being able to go to a gig was a big deal to me. It was only because my friend was going - and driving us - that my mum even agreed. I doubt she even told my dad I had gone - he would have flipped if he'd known ! There was no security check other than to check you didn't have any canned drinks with you - good old Wembley always looking to sell you an overpriced drink and snack. This was in the days before everyone carried bottled water and no one had camera phones so actual cameras would be confiscated at the door to prevent piracy. Ironic when you consider the number of fake t-shirt sellers right outside the doors.

Every holiday at uni I worked as a steward at Wembley. I was on the turnstiles for a Michael Jackson show that never happened, showed people to their seats for Bruce Springsteen, stood on the pitch at the end of the match for the Charity Shield. I ran away from stampeding people when the crowd at a Bollywood spectacular went rogue and stormed the pitch at the stadium. This was far more worrying than the elephant that had earlier taken a tour of the stadium carrying a Bollywood film star on its back.

My regular job was showing people to their seats at Wembley Arena. Cliff Richard fans are far more bolshie than any other audience in my experience. I have no idea why. I fell in love with Prince when I watched him perform on stage at the Arena and I bought a knock off t-shirt after a Simple Minds gig  because - frankly - I wasn't going to pay the price they charged inside the venue. My mum used to pick me up from Wembley because she didn't want me to take the bus on my own late at night. She would park on a side road we had agreed before I left for work and I would always get there in time. We still didn't have mobile phones remember. If anything happened or I was delayed I had no way of letting my family know - unless I went to a phone box and had change to make the call.

On Monday night there were young people going to their first ever gig in a massive venue. Before they went inside the venue they will have had their bags searched for items such as drinks bottles, anything that could be used to record the event (other than mobile phones of course - we all have those now) and sharp objects. The tickets will have had anti-fraud markings on and there will have been professional security firms hired to work at the venue.

As many Ariana Grande fans are so young they will have gone to the show with their parents. They went to see a singer they love and they had a fantastic time. Then a terrible, horrific thing happened. People were killed. Children were killed. Families were separated. Local taxi drivers took children and their families home or to safe places to stay until they could find each other. Local hotels took them in and no one took a penny in return. Mobile phone footage of the terrifying scenes were online almost immediately and the next morning people went to donate blood to help the victims who had survived the bomb blast.

This is the memory that some children and young people will have of their first gig. This generation of kids who go to festivals with their parents. Who listen to music and download online rather than tuning in to the chart show on a Sunday evening while holding the pause button between tracks on a cassette player. These kids who went to watch a young woman who is a feminist and a campaigner for LGBT equality. Who was said to be 'broken' by what happened to her fans on Monday night.

It's not a memory I would wish on anyone.


A fund has been set up to support families who have been affected - you can doante here: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/westandtogethermanchester

No camping please, I'm squeamish :)

This weekend the festival season starts in earnest with the behemoth that is Glastonbury Festival. As you probably know I'm not a camping type and I don't do crowds very well - being 5 foot and not much else means I'm eye level with belt buckles and chests which isn't nearly as appealing as it sounds.

I've been compiling my radio show covering the best family festivals including hints and tips on how to manage little ones when you go to a festival. I hope that in time we will feel confident enough to take our boy for the full festival experience. I may even consider glamping - I said maybe. We took him to Ben & Jerry's Big Sundae when he was still in my belly and then when he was 10 months. Free ice cream and outdoor music was just the thing for our little muso - he loved bopping along to Billy Bragg - but, sadly, the event seems to have been discontinued since.

It's the PIXIES !!!! 

Hubbie and I went to one festival last year, the Edge of the Sea which is held in Brighton and hosted by Dave Gedge of The Wedding Present. It's been going for years, but it was our first time and it was brilliant fun and didn't involve camping - win !  This year we'll go again and the boy will stay with Grandma and Grandpa again. We've already been to Field Day this year which is a festival for grown ups only and we saw the Pixies and a few bands we'd sort of heard of. As we ambled around Victoria Park in East London admiring the artisan food stalls I thought about how many open air gigs we'd been to in the past and as I was just remembering our friend Gareth who had been to the Innocent Fruitstock festival with us I spotted him coming towards us !! Weird and psychic coincidence it wasn't though, as apparently he goes every year.

artisan food van

Gareth and Hubbie 'watching' a band 

couscous as street food ?

My Mum and brother kept the boy out of trouble while me and Hubbie made a middle-aged road trip to the festival and patted ourselves on the back when we found parking close to the site. I know, I know, judge away.

Done ? Ok. I will continue.

While we spent some grown up time together I spotted some fabulous festival archetypes:

• The man with the open shirt drunk and asking random strangers for a light - this one is harmless if a bit annoying 

Bridget 

• The skinny 'Bridget Bardot' type complete with floppy hat, brocade bandeau and hot pants and vertiginous wedge sandals - alone, but getting a lot of looks

• Girl talking to her friend while they were trying to watch a band - her story just had to be told then and there, no one was rude enough to tell her to wind her neck in

• Looky likeys: this is a game that me and Hubbie play, even thought it's very silly. I spotted Steve Tyler, Michael Hutchence, Zach Galifianakis, Anne Hathaway (the movie star, not the queen)

I cannot explain this

A highlight was watching 2 security men take a man down. He was wearing a high-vis vest and no shirt, we're not entirely sure why. This may not sound interesting, but then another man dressed as Captain America went over and shook his hand with the hilarious offer, "how can I help ?"

The slight cat hair in the ointment was that we were surrounded by hipsters and they inspire my pogonophobia. Yes, I have an irrational fear/dislike of beards - and now also of top knots when worn by men who are not Sikh. I don't get it. They look ridiculous. I just wish they'd stop.

Nice to see that Thurston Moore has a sideline

So, we're getting the hang of festivals as parents who've left the boy behind. I think this might be the way forward. We love music. We love nice food. We love being together. I think we can take this to the next level and maybe even introduce the random element of a child into the mix - or camping. Not both. I'm not that brave (or insane !)

I challenge any festival to prove to me that it is possible to have a good time when camping at a festival. Go on, I'm waiting to be converted :)

Shiny happy people :) 

No resolutions - in 2014 I have plans...

I've decided that I'm not making resolutions. It's always the same thing anyway, lose weight, win the lottery, get a real job, etc. so this year I've decided that it's far more productive to make plans rather than resolutions. There's a built in failure with resolutions that I am just not going to entertain any more. So, this time I'm being pro-active and setting myself goals with proper time stamps on them. I've made a decent start on the nuts and bolts ones:

- eating smaller portions and making healthier choices (except for today at lunch). This includes making sure I get myself something to eat as well as getting food for the boy and Hubbie. I may even get to drink a cup of tea or a piece of toast before it goes cold !! If this one lasts once Hubbie is back at work and the boy is at nursery I will have cracked it ! 

- trying to get to bed earlier every night so that I'm not permanently tired and grumpy. It is entirely my fault that I sit up with the macbook on my lap late at night rather than snuggling under my gorgeous duvet with Hubbie. I'm making an effort to get this one right.  

- making a choice to dress in my nice clothes rather than just wearing 'staying home' clothes all the time. It's fine to wear sweat pants for a trip to the swimming pool, but to still be wearing them to go to the shops is not ok (any more). 

- putting on a least eye liner and lippie to leave the house. I'm an Avon lady so I own more make up than the beauty counters at Selfridges. What's the point in having that much make up and never wearing it ? 

Then we have the stuff that's in the diary that will help me meet some of those other 'goals' (repeat after me - goals not resolutions):

January: There is a part time job and a training scheme that I am going to apply for that both represent things I am interested in doing and that I think I can do.
This is instead of 'get a well paid job.' I can also use the make up and nice clothes ones for this.

February: Team Honk Blogger relay from Lands End to John O'Groats. I'm part of the London leg and there is talk of four person cycles being an integral part of our section of the challenge. My dodgy knees will have to be up for this one as I am not going to wimp out and be the one that carries the water bottles !! Bring on the t-shirts ladies (and Spencer), I'm ready !!
This is to replace the usual, 'lose weight' as the other bloggers include very glamorous ones who I refuse to look lardy next to !

May: I did the full Moonwalk five years ago and I've signed up to do the half Moonwalk with my lovely friend Soraya this Summer. We're going to have such a laugh, not least as we can talk constantly for hours so the time will just fly by ! From memory it's pretty tough going, but I loved training for it and it got me very fit indeed doing all the walking.
This one is instead of the generic, 'get fit.'

June: We've bought tickets to a festival that the Pixies are headlining in London. It's a grown up day out and while I don't think seeing an act outdoors is the best way to do it, this is to get over my aversion to festivals. I'm sure it won't be all mud and botulism burgers really.
This one is to replace the 'do things with Hubbie.'

August: Last Summer me and Hubbie went to the Edge of the Sea two day festival in Brighton and loved it. Our boy stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (aka Grumps) and he loved that too. This time we're going to book a nice hotel and make a weekend of it instead of constantly ringing to check if he's eaten and if he's missing us.
This one is in place of, 'give the boy some independence.'

In September our boy will turn 4 and in October we'll celebrate 8 years of marriage. By that time I hope to have made great progress with my goals for the year. I hope in my round up of 2014 I'll be saying, "I love it when a plan comes together" while chomping on a pretend cigar rather than, "I ain't getting on no plane sucker" while sipping a glass of milk that's been spiked with knock out drops.

Whatever you are doing to see in the New Year I hope you have a wonderful time.

See you on the other side :o)

Brighton Beach (bank holiday) memoirs

So this was the first Bank Holiday I've spent where I was away from my boy for a full 24 hours without seeing him at all. He woke up and went to sleep without me or Hubbie there to tuck him in and he slept fine and woke up full of the joys of a weekend spent with Grandma and Grandpa. I barely slept a wink (and not because of the sofa bed in my friend's house) and woke up feeling tired and wanting to call him. It was too early at 6am so I held out until after 8am and he was all cheery and waiting to tell me he'd eaten Weetabix and a Peppa Pig yoghurt for breakfast. Phew !!

Hubbie and I had a lovely leisurely Sunday morning with friends who treated us to a luxurious brunch and we even bought a Sunday paper which we later read on Brighton Beach. I recall years ago a friend telling us that once you have kids you'll never have the time to read a Sunday paper again. He was right as this is the first time since our boy was born that we have had the chance to. I also remembered my friend Lisa who came to our wedding sans infants as her two had gone to visit their Grandmother in Belfast with their Dad and she said she felt like a piece of her was missing the whole day. I felt like that this weekend.

I had a lovely time with Hubbie and it was great to go to a 2 day festival and do grown up stuff like getting stuck behind hundreds of mods on scooters on their way from Brighton to Eastbourne. We did make it to see the band just in time, but only just. Oh the spills and thrills !! It was even better as I knew from talking to our boy that he was having a wonderful time ruling the roost at his grandparents house so I wasn't worried about him at all. I did, however, feel like a part of me was not there. Everywhere I went I had to talk about him so everyone would know I am a Mum and I have a son and even though he isn't with me he is a part of me.

In his own way Hubbie also showed his parenting credentials by wearing his Daddy Pig t- shirt. However, standing in a children's playground unaccompanied by our son he did look a little suspicious so I have advised that in future he only wear it when he has the boy close by so that people don't mistake him for a wrong 'un.

When we got back to Grandma's late last night I put my head round the bedroom door to see my boy sleeping and my heart felt whole again. I slept soundly and woke up keen to hear the tell-tale jingle of his beloved bear that signals he's awake and moving around in bed. He smiled when he saw me and asked where Daddy, Grandpa and Grandma were.

Tonight when we were home and had our usual pre-bedtime chat about our day he told he he'd had a 'lovely holiday at Grandma's house.' I asked if he'd like to do it again and he said he would.

I hugged him a bit too tight and he put his arms around me.

Maybe next year I'll be a bit less anxious about it all.

The Edge of The Sea for Hubbie and me :o)

Me and Hubbie are going to the Edge of the Sea 2 day festival in Brighton this weekend featuring Dave Gedge's bands Cinerama and the Wedding Present. We booked the tickets in January for both days and in order to make this happen my planning has been as follows:

• asked the parents-in-law to look after our boy (father-in-law, or Captain America as I call him, is playing golf so it's mostly Grandma really)
• checked my lovely friend Soraya in Lewes can put us up on Saturday night and we can leave the car at her house
• gave Hubbie our itinerary for the weekend including options for eating
• bought in food the boy likes to take to Grandma's
• made sure the neighbours can feed the cat while we're away 

I'm already traumatised at the thought of being away from my boy for two days, but mostly because there's still so much to do before we get to see the Wedding Present live on Saturday evening.

Saturday

• Pack overnight bags for me, Hubbie and the boy - making sure we have baby monitor, night nappies, toothbrush and child sized toilet seat for the boy
• Drive to Grandma's house and drop off the boy 
• Get on the road to Lewes to drop off car and pick up keys to let ourselves in on Saturday night
• Take train from Lewes to Brighton to the gig 
• Chill out at the gig 

Sunday

• Brunch in Lewes
• Back to Brighton for day 2 of the Edge of the Sea gig 
• End of gig drive to Grandma's to be there when the boy wakes up in the morning

Monday

• Surprise the boy when he wakes up 
• Drive to my Mum and Dad's house for lunch 
• Back home to be ignored by a moody cat and get ready for the week ahead. 

At some point I expect I'll relax and enjoy the bands at the gig - that's the intention anyway.

Whatever you're doing I hope you have a lovely Bank Holiday Weekend :o)

Waterlogged wellies and a working loo (or how we do festivals)

I've become obsessed with festivals. Not in a going to them way, but in a slightly envious of other cool families who take their kids to festivals way. You know those terribly trendy parents with offspring called Betsey and Oberon. They have those cutesie ear defenders for the mites and a laid back attitude to routines and showering. I'm just far too tightly wound to be like that. I can't sling a baby on my hip and a duffle bag over my shoulder and flounce off to a campsite for the weekend.

I've only ever gone to one day festivals (eg. Donington and Ben & Jerry's Big Sundae) as I like to wash my hair in hot water and to sleep in a nice comfy bed at night. I also have a pathalogical aversion to crowds, tie dye and overpriced botulism burgers. I like the idea of a festival, but I know that in reality I'd be permanently frightened of getting robbed or mobbed and I'd miss all the bands I want to see as I'd be searching for a clean enough portaloo.

Of course I'm aware that with our boy's love of music he is likely to want to go to festivals when he's older and I've started to plan for it already. He can go when he's old enough to buy his own ticket. It'll cost the same as a small family car by the time he's old enough anyway so he'll have to prioritise or go into a lucrative career if he wants to 'do Glastonbury.' I'm going to drive him there and park in the car park the whole time with a picnic basket and flask so if he gets soaked, robbed or bored he can get a lift to a pizza place for dinner or the Travelodge for a hot shower and breakfast. If he's really fed up I'll bring him home to watch the rest of the festival with me and his dad and we'll agree not to let on to anyone.

The first ever blog post I wrote 2 years ago was about how we watch festivals on the telly at home from the comfort of our sofa. So as a tribute to that post I've got an idea to get my son by until he's saved up enough to go to his first one. In order to give him the true festival experience and ensure I don't lose sleep or my sanity I'm prepared to do the following:

• Set up a campsite at the end of the garden (it's 200 foot away so technically he's not still at home) 

• Play music loudly out of the windows at the back of the house so he gets the true feel of being there

• Charge him a tenner for a veggie burger and an organic beer  

• Set up some stalls selling overpriced hemp t-shirts and trousers

• Late at night we'll build a bonfire and I'll juggle while Hubbie sings and plays guitar

• Line up all his toy cars and bikes into a traffic jam all the way to the garden gate so that it takes 6 hours to leave the site

We'll charge him twice as much for a ticket the following year and he'll still come back for more.

Ah welcome back festival season :o)