Lost shoes, black & white photos and music - that's where the magic begins.

If we all have a book inside of us then I must have taken a few other people's share of books. I'm always coming up with ideas for stories and when I was younger I used to make up stories for my younger sisters. I created characters based on their toys and incorporated their favourite things into songs and stories. They still remind me of the silly songs I would sing during story time and it makes me blush. Hubbie does the same thing with our boy and I trust he will have some lovely memories of story time too.

So, the Big Idea are running a great competition and have asked what inspires me to write ? Well, to be honest I'd be hard pushed to say what doesn't inspire me. Overheard conversations, news events, absent-mindedly listening to the radio, everything does. I have, however, chosen some things that I find especially inspiring.

Photos: in my parents house there was a black and white photo on the wall unit - which was in the home of every family member. I had no idea who the Sikh man in the photo was, but he was very serious looking and quite young. When we were looking through my parents' wedding album I remember carefully turning back the crinkly tissue paper leaves that concealed magical images from another time and place, people I hadn't met and who I might not. I asked Mum who the elderly Sikh man was and she said it was her father. The man from the photo on the unit. I thought he had died long before I was born, but apparently he was alive until just before I went to India aged 2 and a half.  The story of time in between those two photos captivated my imagination and I have created so many stories based on that time period and the adventures he had.

Music: I love music and hearing a tune or a short clip of music often reminds me of a moment or a place and immediately I have a story taking shape in my head. Growing up with Bollywood music in my home was amazing with the contrast of the sombre and romantic ballads and the crazy pop tunes. From soothing tones to upbeat dance numbers all songs are the potential soundtrack to the script in my head.  

Walking is inspiring

Walking: I used to walk everywhere and would often see things that would make me stop. People having an argument, or an unusual event going on. Having travelled for work I have spent a lot of time observing the world around me. I remember seeing a jacket on the ground by a telephone box - it was sad and sent my mind swirling into the possible reasons for how it had ended up there.  By the time I was home I had imagined the whole tale from the messy break up to the girlfriend throwing the clothes out of the window and one thing being left behind in the melee. 

Windows: Looking out of trains, buses, hotels and in fact any windows provide a wide range of
opportunities for finding stories. The shoe on top of a bus shelter could be either a heartening tale of childish high jinx or a sad and frightening one of bullying. It entirely depends on what mood I'm in whether the tone is dark or light really. 

There is so much more that inspires me, but I'm not going to go on about it. I've got writing to do over here. Now go shoo, get out there and live a bit to get inspired yourself :) 

My heart is broken. But still, like air, I'll rise.

I have a blog because I love to write. It is my space to share thoughts, ideas, stories and sometimes a little bit of myself. Our house is littered with my many notebooks and our walls are covered with shelves filled to capacity with books. I keep pens to hand everywhere, in pockets, old mugs, on every windowsill and in empty jars and occasionally actual pen pots. I never throw out paper. It is used for drawing, or shopping lists or ideas that have suddenly come to me while I was chopping veg - yes this does happen.

I always loved writing and would find any excuse to write when I was at school and I collected books that I would buy for a few pence at jumble sales or school fayres. My bookshelf at home was small, but filled with precious jewels that spoke to me and only me and took me to places I had never heard of and could only imagine. I read anything and everything and would read books so quickly that the school reading scheme ran out and I was sent to the library to find books to read instead. I read all of them too and for a while my favourite books were a big book with photos of minerals and crystals in it and another called Mathemagic which is now out of print. Yes for a while back there I was interested in science and maths. I know Hubbie is open-mouthed at this last fact so let's just wait for him to get up off the floor shall we ?

The books I read were the usual ones by Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, C.S. Lewis, the Heidi stories, and anything that was a series of books appealed the most as it didn't have to end. What the school library of James Wolfe Junior School did not have was any books by black authors - or at least none I knew of. It wasn't until I went to secondary school that I finally read Roll of Thunder Hear My Cry which was a darker story than I was used to reading and led me to find I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. From the first time I read a Maya Angelou book I knew I loved her. The writing was fluid and even though I hadn't heard her speak, in my head I could imagine the voice she was reading to me in. When I did hear her voice years later it was richer and far more beautiful that I could ever have known.

When I finished reading her first book I re-read it and then I read the next one and then the next one and so on until there were no more left. I had to know this woman, dammit I had to be her. Vibrant, brave, clever, capable of anything, so very beautiful and she was black and from a poor family. It was the first time I'd seen a woman who was so accomplished and made me think it might be possible for me to do it too. It made me realise it was ok to write about real life and to be honest about myself and that didn't make me a bad person.

I always promised myself I'd see her perform live and I even looked into studying in America at the university where she was a professor so I would meet her. It was a dream I was unable to fulfil and now she has passed away it won't happen. I listen to her voice and see her kindly face and it's like I actually know her. As though she is behind my hand when I write something honest, painful, raw and possibly beautiful.

Her poetry empowered me, her activism inspired me, her writing spoke to me. She gave me my passion for writing and helped me to learn to love the colour of my skin. She even helped me to understand that what is done to us does not define what we become.

The news that Dr Maya Angelou has passed away has broken my heart.

It also reminds me that I write because it is my passion.

Dr Maya Angelou (4th April 1928 - 28th May 2014)

Mumsnet bedtime stories

On a rare night out last week I was invited to attend the launch for Mumsnet Book of Bedtime Stories. It was one of the few times I've been into town after dark and there was wine and everything !

The book is the result of a competition that invited Mumsnet and Gransnet members to submit bedtime stories to be chosen for this compilation. I did consider sending in a story, but it's devilish difficult to actually write a story for kids ! Michael Rosen whittled down the twenty shortlisted stories to the ten that appear in the book and it must have been very hard to choose. I don't envy him the decision, but what a fun job to do.

The authors were all at the launch and I got most (if not all) of them to sign a book for my boy. I also chatted to some of the illustrators about the fact that the stories look absolutely beautiful and they are all so different. There is a nice range of styles and age ranges in this book so it will last for a while and would make a wonderful gift to give a child, a parent or grandparent or anyone who loves picture books.

I'm going to give a copy to Mother-in-law so that my boy has one for when he stays with her. It's like having ten picture books in one - a space saver too !! I'd suggest it would also work to take on holiday so you don't have to carry lots of books to keep your little ones entertained. I can see this book becoming a firm favourite in our house and I'm delighted I got to talk to some of the people who created it. It's inspired me to give writing a children's story a go, but I've got a long way to go before I'm as good as these guys ! 

Thank you to Hannah from Mumsnet for inviting me to the book launch :o)

The 10 winning stories (in author alphabetical order) are:

• Polly the Jumping Cow by Jools Abrams-Humphries 
• Bedtime at the Lighthouse by Philip Bell
• Time for Bed by Michelle Eckhaus
• The Night Thief and the Moon by Katherine Latham
• A Parcel for Theo by Claire McCauley
• Princess Imogen's Independent Day by Christine O'Neill
• The Dancing Bear by Suzy Robinson
• The Sheriff of Rusty Nail by Sophie Wills
• Celeste Who Sang to the Stars by Kate Wilson
• Allie to the Rescue by Helen Yendall

If you are looking for a special and beautiful present for a child (or a grandparent) Click here to buy the book from Amazon

Disclosure: This is a personal review of the book - I was not paid to attend, but I did get a free book.

I'm in a room of 500 oversharers and it's all ok :o)

I spent the best part of two days this weekend at an event for bloggers hosted by Britmums. I missed my boys terribly and am now out of my mind tired, but it was fabulous. The venue was really fancy, being in trendy East London as it was, and once lots of parenting bloggers arrived it was also packed, busy and very informative. It was my first time at Britmums live so I was a bit terrified and also quite excited to see what it was all about.

I went to sessions about feminism, social media and working with charities. It was all very interesting. I met bloggers whose words I've read that have made me laugh, cry and go 'huh ?' at various times. At the start of the event I was taking part in a discussion group where I met some bloggers I ended up practically stalking the rest of the time there. Apologies to Formerly Rock and Roll Mum  and the award-winning Vintage Folly  who probably got fed up of the sight of me grinning inanely at them as I was so delighted to have 'made friends' with real bloggers. Then the sheer delight at spotting Jen whose blog I follow and who is kind enough to read mine too. I feel like I already know her so to meet and talk to her in person was really lovely. I also managed to catch up with the only woman I know who has built an igloo with her kids. Strong coffee is also responsible for my purchase of a new handbag, but as the handle on the bag I was carrying had broken it was meant to be anyway. 

Then there were the freebies; cupcakes, books, soft toys, nappies and more cupcakes (well maybe that was just me). I came away from it all with my head buzzing with ideas, sore shoulders from carrying all the swag and a very big question niggling me. Why were there barely any bloggers there who weren't white ? Now this isn't a criticism of the organisation, after all they don't pre-select who can join. Neither is it a judgement of those bloggers who were there. While we choose to blog we don't choose our ethnicity and we are who we are and we're all doing something we love (hopefully). 

So maybe the pertinent question is do non-white bloggers just choose not to come to these events or are there just not that many of us ? After all there are writers from all different communities and people with an opinion or an interest to share. We are parents, we have families and issues and we talk about them, but maybe not on blogs. Katy Hill eloquently called us a room full of 'oversharers' and while I agree with that there is a lot I choose not to tell and I am very selective about what I share on here and on social media generally. 

It was very obvious to me in all the sessions that I attended that I was the only non-white person in the audience and in every case an all-white panel sitting at the front. When milling around during breaks and at the evening drinks I did spot a couple of women who were also of an 'ethnic' persuasion (how on earth can I say it without sounding either poncey and right on or just daft ?), but otherwise it was a bit of a step back in time. I mean the serving staff and cloakroom attendants were a diverse bunch, but the conference attendees didn't appear to be. Mind you there were 500 of us and while that is a lot it's hardly every blogger in the UK is it ?

Anyway, I had a fab time at Britmums live and would recommend it for the fun, the socialising, the learning and most of all the cupcakes !!

There will be (more) cake

i

I left Hubbie and the boy at home to their own devices today while I ventured out for the first day of Britmums Live. I knew they'd be fine as they smaller one had been such a beast with his Auntie yesterday that he had to have used up all the naughty by today. I found it hilarious when Hubbie explained that he'd last seen the coasters when our boy had been running through the house with them and they were probably somewhere near the JCB trucks.

While these interior design decisions were taking place I was making my way to the blogger conference that I'd bought my early bird ticket for in January. I signed up for a focus group thing and then promptly forgot all about it until earlier this week. Then I panicked as I realised that I didn't know anyone who was going or even where it was.

This morning I was awake early and went for a swim and came home to grab a cuppa and some toast before the boys offered to take me to that station. Then there was mad dash during which my son even managed to put this new shoes on the right feet - "son your shoes are on the wrong feet love" has been my most frequent refrain this week. I went to get my hair done for a confidence boost and left the salon looking very glamorous indeed. 

By the time I arrived at the venue in trendy Barbican this afternoon I was pretty nervous, but distracted by the fact that on my day off from work I was spending it less than a mile from where I work. On my way there I walked through a food market that smelled gorgeous, but I didn't dare stop and get anything even though I'd had no lunch.

My nerves hadn't entirely dissipated when I got there as I had booked a ten minute slot to pitch to a literary agent and as he was running behind I was waiting outside to be told it was my turn. By the time I was called I'd completely lost my nerve and decided not to talk to him at all. Instead I passed my slot to someone else who was far better prepared than me as she was clutching a synopsis in her hands. I'm sure my time will come to pitch, but today was not it. 

Over the course of a few hours I managed to acquire a free pack of nappies, cupcakes for my boys with a picture of a dog on them and some picture books to review. I'd also met some bloggers in person who I know from reading their blogs and that was quite exciting. I had a quick chat with the lovely Jennifer Jain while supping a glass of fizz and made plans to meet another blogger pal over breakfast tomorrow. As I pointed out to her I'll be the one stuffing pastries in my mouth (and probably handbag too !)

I'm off to bed now, but hopefully tomorrow I won't feel so tired and can tell you more about what happened.

For now I shall bid you a good night and sweet dreams. 

Hear ye hear ye - read all about it (every day !!)

As well as hosting my own radio show on a Monday Hubbie and I present a music show jointly that goes out online every two weeks. We make time to pre-record shows based on themes that we've chosen and pick songs that we play in turns on a show called "His & Hers." 

The idea came about because we have different preferences in music style and it provides contrast and - we hope - interest for listeners to hear how we've interpreted the theme. In the past we've done shows about colours, numbers, movies and food. Today we recorded two shows about couples who are in bands either together or separately. You know, Abba who were married to each other or Sonny & Cher. Neither of these made the cut, but you can listen on Friday 21st June and find out who we chose.

It's almost as much fun to choose the theme and songs as it it doing the show. It's a fun challenge and harks back to our shared history and the interests we had before we were Mummy and Daddy. You see we met when we were both doing a journalism course and had aspirations to be writers for a living. While both of us do write a lot for our work neither of us does it as a job or is paid for writing. Of course, that's the reason I have this blog.

So with that in mind I'm challenging myself to write a post every day. The logic being that by writing every day I'm closer to getting into the discipline of being a writer.

A health warning for you though dear reader, the posts may well be shorter than usual (which may be no bad thing).

So let's see how it goes shall we ?

The evening I spent with Jay Rayner: and he didn't even buy dinner !

At the end of last year I made a promise to myself to make a go of writing - not in a 'this is the year I get my novel finished / published' way more in a 'am I actually any good at this ?' kind of way. I was feeling a bit under-employed what with not being a 'mumpreneur' and thought I needed to be doing something useful. It was in this vein that I asked for a ticket to a Guardian masterclass with Jay Rayner as a present for Christmas. Now if you don't know Jay he writes restaurant reviews for the Guardian and Observer and is on Radio and TV and is the son of the much loved national treasure Claire Rayner.

As the genius and global icon that is Rayner strode into the room the air vibrated with the sound of quivering loins. Ok he told me to say that - yes really he did. Jay actually opened the class with a reference to those who had tweeted saying that they'd been given him for Christmas and how it was a sign of dark humour in the relationship. I slunk down in my chair as I was one of them, but I can also vouch for dark humour in a marriage being no bad thing.

So to the skill of writing. We all think that because we like to eat out that we could be a restaurant reviewer. This is like saying, because I make dinner most evenings I should be a chef and open a restaurant. As Jay pointed out food reviewing is not about putting bums on seats for restauranteurs, it's about selling newspapers or magazines. For that reason what you know about food or restaurants is of little importance, but being able to write well is vital. Otherwise we're all just (insert name of mindless reality show here) contestants who want to 'be famous' without specifying what for exactly.

We did a writing exercise where we tried to compose the opening lines to a piece of writing. It was deceptively difficult. Maybe that was the glass of wine I slugged back in the break though - Mum's night off and I wasn't driving so why the hell not ? I would recommend a Guardian Masterclass if they do them again. It wasn't expensive, they provided wine and it was at the very fancy Guardian offices near King's Cross. There was some homework before the night, but it proved very helpful as we dissected some articles Jay had written and he explained how they were constructed. He's an engaging speaker and I had no idea how diverse the range of his writing was. I was far too sheepish to stay for drinks afterwards, but I did say thanks as I shuffled off to get my train.

I have been hard on myself for 20 years for not being able to fund a postgraduate course in Broadcast Journalism that I had a place on. I told myself that was the reason I wasn't able to break into my dream career. Jay, however, made a valid point that rather than having a qualification in the process of journalism the main requirement is to know 'stuff' (he was more eloquent than that though). Having subject knowledge and being able to write about is more important than knowing the history and mechanics of writing or the media. Experience will eventually give you this information anyway. This one comment was a bigger kindness than Jay could have known. I now understand that what has stopped me from making a career in journalism isn't a lack of training, it's me.

So, instead of dismissing my radio show as a 'hobby' or my writing as 'nothing' I'm going to be more positive about what I can do. You know like when people say 'dress for the job you want' or 'act happy to become happy.' So from now on I'll be wearing big dark glasses and a massive fake fur coat and am auditioning for an entourage to follow me around and make me look like 'someone.'

Please form an orderly queue.