I'm a walking

Today I calculated that I've walked 158 training miles so far in preparation for the Moonwalk and I have at least 77 miles to go before the big walk.

On the evening of Sat 13th - Sun 14th May I'll be walking 26.2 miles through London wearing a decorated bra to raise money for breast cancer treatment and support services. I'm doing it because both Hubbie and I have lost loved ones to cancer - as have so many people.

I've taken part in the Moonwalk twice before. The first time was 8 years ago before Brown Bear was born and I had all the time in the world to train and walking was a jolly jape rather than a military operation fitted in between school and nursery drop off and pick ups. It was the most challenging thing I've done (and I'm including taking the boys to Ikea during the school holidays - seriously what was I thinking ?) which is why it's taken me so long to do it again.

The last time I did the moonwalk was with my wonderful friend Soraya and we walked the half moon to celebrate her surviving breast cancer. It was an emotional night and one I'm so proud to have shared with her as it meant so much to me that she made it and is here now to cheer me along.

Walking is a meditative thing for me and I find that whatever mood I'm in when I start by the time I've been walking for an hour or so I've already written a novel in my head and solved at least one world issue. I smile at people walking their dogs and appreciate the trees, plants and flowers all around me. When I've been walking through London I notice how many places I know from having worked there and others from disastrous first dates.

I have at least 77 more training miles to go before the big night. As the weather improves I'm enjoying the walks a lot more than when I started them in the wintry climes of February.

I've got a sponsorship page here - if you are able to sponsor me I'd be so grateful: https://moonwalklondon2017.everydayhero.com/uk/swazi

For now though think of me and my poor sore feet.

Easter eggs already ?

January is usually a pretty low-mood month. It's cold, it's dark, there's the post Christmas downer and it feels like a long month before you get paid. Then there's the deprivation, dry January, new year diets, the new regime of fitness and realising that there are already easter eggs in the shops, but because sugar is the enemy you can't actually buy any.

Except this year I haven't had the blues. I've felt energetic, I've been spending time with my boys and I've been going through the house like a buzzsaw tidying and sorting. I put this down to a few things. The last few years I've given up chocolate and puddings in the new year, so this year I had a head start as I was unwell at Christmas so it made sense to just cut out the 'baddies' early on. I didn't indulge on New Year's Eve so I woke up with a clear head and a resolve to get out and do something active. I started off the year not having bread or alcohol or sugar and will be slowly reintroducing them in minimal amounts. The exception is my lovely friend's birthday next Friday when I will have all of the above.

I'm taking part in the Moonwalk in May this year so I've been increasing my everyday fitness. Walking, swimming, clubbercise and this week I started bootcamp too. All of this is my way of ensuring that I am as fit as I can be to take part and I'm determined to do it in a personal best time.

Making myself go to bed earlier has enabled me to do things like read a book and to settle into bed before I fall asleep. Blue Bear isn't a great sleeper so we often get woken in the night and more than once so the more sleep the better really. I haven't quite mastered the art of waking up early yet, but I'm working on that next.

I've set myself the goal of cooking more meals from scratch and encouraging the boys to try new foods as much as possible. Brown Bear came home from school yesterday having eaten a chicken burger for lunch and I asked what he had with it. "It had tomato and salad on it, but I took all that off and ate it." Small victories I guess. Blue Bear tried some broccoli at the weekend. He's always pushed it away before, but he tried tiny pieces and declared it wasn't so bad after all.

Finally I want to earn again. It doesn't have to be a lot, but I do want to have some money coming in. The difficult bit is I want to enjoy what I'm doing and it has to fit round my family. The holy grail basically. So to that end I'm keeping myself busy and saying "yes" to opportunities that arise. Who knows, it might just work out.

Well, I'll keep you posted on my progress as the year goes on. Wish me luck.

Can eating cake cure cancer ? I'm not sure, but it probably helps.

This week I'm all about raising awareness and money for cancer charities. When I was growing up no one mentioned cancer at all and I thought it was a rare thing that only happened to other people. As time has gone on I've worked with people who have developed cancer, my aunt was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away not long after. My beautiful friend Soraya was diagnosed with breast cancer, was treated for it and last year we did the Moonwalk together to celebrate her recovery. In a few weeks time I will visit the lovely Penny who was the midwife who attended the birth of Big Boy. A few years ago Penny was told she had pancreatic cancer and that her prognosis was bleak, she refused to give in and defied the odds to recover from it.

Soraya and me before the long walk 

That's why this week I'm spending a lot of time eating cake. Well, not just me. I hosted a Macmillan Coffee morning earlier in the week and all the lovely guests who attended brought cake - and barely ate any - so I had loads left over. Then today we had another coffee morning at playgroup and there was even more cake. So I have started to act as a 'cake courier.' I'm delivering cake to friends locally in return for a donation to Macmillan.

Loadsa lovely cake 

I have a personal connection to Macmillan as their nurses have cared for and supported friends and loved ones who have sadly passed away. The nurses were kind enough to attend the funerals and I know how much it meant to the family members that the care extended beyond their lives. It was also great to be able to thank the nurses for providing end of life care. I have a lot of respect for Macmillan and the work they do.

All ready to raise funds for Macmillan

On Saturday night I will be walking a half marathon through London with my lovely friend Carole to raise money for Cancer Research UK. I've been a bit under that weather for over a week so my training has taken a bit of a hit, but I've walked a full marathon before so I know I can do it. I'll be bold and brave and shine brightly for all those wonderful people I know whose lives have been affected by cancer.

If you would like to sponsor me that would be fantastic. Any amount will make such a difference and I promise that this is the last fundraising ask I will make for a while. I'm a bit done in with having done the danceathon earlier in the year and I think I'll take a break after the walk.

You never know this cake courier thing might take off :)

Wow, did we really do all of that ?

Wow is it the end of 2014 already ? I've been out this afternoon with the boy and when people were saying, "Happy New Year," I kept catching myself thinking, really ? It's so hard to recall how one year compares with the last - apart from the ones where momentous things happen like getting married or having a baby - so instead I've been looking back at what I did in 2014.

Early in the year when there was still a hint of Winter in the air it was time for yet another Team Honk challenge. This year it was the Lands End to John O'Groats baton relay where bloggers used any means possible to take part. In London we were fortunate to have a lot of participants and we chose to do 'Honkopoly' visiting places on the Monopoly board. I got jailed at the Tower of London and rode a scooter dressed as a burglar. At one point Honkopoly was trending on Twitter which was a highlight and a massive boost as the day wore on. When I was on the train back home in the dark I was too tired to explain my clothing to onlookers and had no phone battery to call Hubbie, but hey what an achievement !

Honk Honk ! It's me not yet in jail. 

We finally took our son on a plane for the first (and second) time. After a few years of 'staycations' we finally took the plunge and had holiday abroad with our son. He loved the flight and met the pilot and sat at the controls going out to Lanzarote and back. It wasn't plain sailing (when is it ever with small children ?) but it was a positive experience and we decided it would be ok to do it again. He also enjoyed telling everyone he had been on holiday to Spain.

As well as having a birthday in May, I also did the Moonwalk with my lovely pal Soraya who is a breast cancer survivor. I could not believe I was doing this as I remembered that it's the single most difficult challenge I've undertaken in my life so far and for some reason I chose to do it again !  Anyway, we were overwhelmed with support (mostly for Soraya really) and it make being dressed like an idiot totally worth it.

Post moonwalk celebration

This was the year of my celebrity interviews with a run of them - I talked to Mark Steel about his love of sport - he concluded that we were probably married without knowing about it. Then I interviewed Mark Thomas who was fantastic and shares a love of the Fall with Hubbie. I met him again recently and he was kind enough to say he remembered. I also interviewed Andy Kershaw who I last met when we were both in Sierra Leone.

My lovely friend Lesley launched her new business venture Glow, in the Autumn and as part of that she organised a World Record attempt with around 30 of her colleagues. It involved a lot of us taking part in a fitness routine all at the same time across the country while adjudicators from the Guinness Book of Records watched to verify we had done it correctly. We found out later in the evening that we had indeed set a new World Record - with me dressed in a bright orange hula skirt. Oh well, it's not worth doing if you don't make an idiot of yourself is it ?

I'm moving so fast I'm a blur :)

In September this year my boy started school which has been a big milestone for all of us. At one point we didn't know if we would even ever have children so the fact that he is in school now and can write his name, is learning Spanish and is doing simple maths is just astounding. I went with both of his grandmothers to buy school uniform and at the Early Years nativity this month I was amongst the proudest parents fighting for a seat at the front of the hall.

In November I fulfilled a 2 year goal of chairing a session at the Mumsnet Blogfest about diversity and inclusion. It was nerve wracking and I was worried that no one would come or there would be nothing to say, but it was great and I hope that it's the beginning of something that will truly move things along in the world of blogging.

Not long after this - well 2 days later actually - I started a new job. It's the first time I've worked full time since my son was born so it's been a bit of a shock to the system waking up so early and always rushing to make sure I'm back to pick up my son from school. It is also, however, really challenging and reminds me that I have a brain that can do more than plan meals, wash school uniform and plump sofa cushions.

No really, he does know I'm there honest

So, in case any of you didn't already know I met Russell Brand when he advertised a couple of small shows he was doing in trendy Hoxton. He was talking about his plans for revolution and the giggling girls in the front row seemed very keen on political change from what I could tell. It was interesting to hear his ideas and to witness how he thinks. The attention he's had since then has been something else though. I share this photo here as it got such a strong reaction when I put it up on Facebook.

And finally I fulfilled a long held ambition by going away this Christmas. We had the most fabulous holiday in Cornwall in the Summer and stayed at Coombe mill which is perfect for a family like ours with a small boy who loves animals, tractors, trains and generally being outside with other kids. It was so much fun that we went back for Christmas and if you've read my last few posts you will have seen we had a wonderful stay with Fiona and her marvellous family.

My happiness jar - can't wait to read it :)

It has been a big year for all of us in the family and sometimes it's hard to remember everything so I'm delighted I have this jar. At the start of the year my sister shared this idea of keeping a record of the things that go well or make you happy and putting them into the jar to be read on New Year's Eve. I look forward to reading this aloud so I can recall all the best things before the next year begins.

I wish you a Happy New Year and hope that 2015 brings plenty of fun, happiness and joy.

In the pink and walking in the moonlight

For months I've been walking and training for the Moonwalk. I decided to do it a while back and called my lovely friend Soraya to see if she was up for it and she said only that day she'd been thinking of something to do as a challenge and she agreed straight away. I had a speech all prepared to convince her, but I didn't need it. I've been walking in the rain, the wind and sometimes even the sun to prepare. My knees have been unpredictable and I've been worried on more than one occasion that they'd pack up. Soraya put her back out early on and it was touch and go if she'd be well enough to do it at all.

My streamlined Moonwalk outfit 

Last week I put together my outfit - it's pink and frou-frou, but I'd say it's essentially an athletic look isn't it ?

Then on Saturday night we got ready while Hubbie put the boy to bed. We packed water, protein bars and some fruit in small bags to carry with us on the route and wore fleece jackets convinced it would be warmer while we walked and we wouldn't need them.

Raring to go 

When we arrived at the Moonwalk tent the atmosphere hit us and when they had a minute of silence to think about why we were there I choked as my reason was standing right next to me. My friend was alive and that was why we were doing it. TEARS.

Tattooed ladies

The reason for doing it was simple, but the walk itself was anything but - that was brutal. It was cold, biting wind and long periods of standing around waiting for road crossings and bottle necks to clear. We never really picked up enough momentum to warm up. My legs ached and my head hurt from the cold. As it became light I perked up a bit and we made a big push to get to the finish.

A glass of wine to celebrate

When we finally finished we hugged and sobbed a bit and made our way home. Hubbie and the boy were waiting for us and after a cuppa and something to eat I got into the lovely hot bath Hubbie had run for me and listened to the radio. The boys went out for a swim and to do the shopping. When they got back I heard Hubbie 'shushing' the boy so as not to disturb me. I sent him a text message a while later to ask if they'd had a nice time - I was still like a zombie so moving wasn't an option. They came up to see me. "I'm proud of you Mummy," the little one said as he handed me some red roses.

I was too exhausted to cry again. 

And the best thing of all - we've raised over £1,500 for breast cancer charities :)

A Spring walk to admire the flowers

I've been doing a fair few long walks in training for the Moonwalk on 10th May. It's been lovely to watch the Spring flowers coming up and the changes in the landscape.

These ones were just outside the doctor's surgery and it was a sunny day so they look especially lovely.

We have a big garden that requires a lot of work to keep tidy, but I quite like the wild and woolly look that it has before I get to do some pruning. 

Red flowers and a blue sky

Sometimes it's nice to admire someone else's garden. Of course a beautiful blue sky helps :)

A Good Friday to take a walk

I've been a bit absent lately as I've been poorly since Easter - as a result I've had not one chocolate egg (boo) and haven't been up to writing blog posts (double boo). To make sure you don't forget me this is a mostly photo post of images taken on one of my training walks for the Moonwalk that is in a few weeks.

This walk was on Good Friday and it was a beautiful sunny afternoon in Hythe in Hampshire. Enjoy the images. I hope you don't catch what I have :)

The loveliest bridge and weeping willow

Hythe Marina

Mother-in-law's gorgeous garden

If you'd like to sponsor me and my walking pal Soraya please do - any amount will be great and we're delighted to have received such generous support already.

I'm incensed by this (incense, get it ?)

I last did the Moonwalk 5 years ago and often take part in the race for life - I used to do about 3 a year, now I do just the one. I don't like to hassle people so I really try only to ask for sponsorship for the big events which I'm putting some effort into taking part in. The Moonwalk is still the hardest thing I've taken part in (I'm including childbirth in this - yes seriously) although it's nothing compared with what anyone trying to survive a diagnosis of cancer is doing.

Which brings me onto a bug bear of mine that I've decided to voice here. The response I had from some people about donating to cancer charities. Now you choose what you give your money to and if you decide not to give to certain causes - or any - that is up to you. What I cannot understand is why some people feel the need to give out about how they disapprove of cancer treatment and get all judgey about it.

To be clear I think animal testing is abhorrent and I'm not impressed that cancer research charities essentially fund pharmaceutical companies to do research into treatments that they eventually charge money for. It's not exactly transparent is it ? What I have no right to comment on, however, is a person's decision to have chemotherapy or radiotherapy or any other drug treatment for their particular condition. I have been taken aback and horrified to see 'friends' making remarks about how it's evil and doesn't work because of what happened to their family or friends. I have two specific reasons for finding his behaviour reprehensible.

1. In the last few months I've been delighted that one of the fantastic midwives who took great care of us when my son was being born has fought and beaten her diagnosis of inoperable cancer. Penny was fit and healthy, practised yoga and swam daily. When she found out she had pancreatic cancer and probably only a few months to live she decided to fight it with a hardcore regime of chemo and radiotherapy and this week Penny had the operation that signifies she's beaten a cancer that kills 1 in five of those who have it.

2. One of my dearest friends who I'm walking the Moonwalk with was diagnosed with breast cancer and undertook a gruelling chemotherapy regime while also caring for her young son and elderly mother. We had long phone calls between chemo sessions and one day she spoke to me about how difficult it was. 'Friends' had suggested holistic therapies to her and she felt guilty that she was choosing to be 'poisoned' into killing the cancer. I talked to her about seeing the chemo as the thing that would make her well and that the massages and reflexology would be a lovely between treatments addition. If she could see it as making her well it had a better chance of working and the end result would be that she would be around for years with her young son and partner. Soraya is now fit and well - albeit with shorter hair. She writes a fab blog about her (mis)adventures with breast cancer here: Big C in 3G

Both of these women are alive because they had treatment. Both women love yoga and are keen advocates of alternative therapies, but they also chose to have 'conventional' treatment that means they are here now to be with their children and families. I also have plenty of friends and family who did not survive treatment and passed away. It is not fair, but it does happen.

I admire the work of Marie Curie Cancer Care and Macmillan nurses who took care of people I cared for very deeply. Walk the walk (the charity behind Moonwalk) was founded by a woman whose own experience of breast cancer informed what she felt was important in helping her to recover. Treatments and therapies including cold cap - that helps with hair loss during chemo - and centres to provide support and care including childcare during treatment all make a huge difference.

Cancer affects so many of us either directly or in a close friend or family member. It's fine to have an opinion. It's fine to believe that your way is the best way. It's not fine to share it when I've asked you to support or donate. You may well believe in sugar pills, or chanting, or wheatgrass and that is lovely for you. You don't, however, have any right to judge or castigate someone else for choosing to have a treatment that you would not have. Again for clarity, none of those who have made these 'helpful' remarks have ever had cancer, so it's all theoretical.

If you don't want to donate your silence will not be seen as offensive or require any explanation. Your desire to make comments that are unkind and unnecessarily cruel to someone who has made possibly the toughest decision of their life, however, is unwelcome. Just keep your comments to yourself.

As your Mum probably told you, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing.

If  you would like to sponsor me and Soraya in our efforts to walk a marathon between us overnight on 10th May you can do so here: Team Swazi and Soraya

Thank you xxx

A wild walk

I might have mentioned that I'm training for the Moonwalk that takes place in May. This means taking walks while the boy is at nursery or weekends when the boys are at football or shopping. I'm quite enjoying the walking actually as I ponder while I walk and it's giving me a great knowledge of my local area.

This week I was walking back home on the last stretch of a 3 mile walk and I spotted some wild flowers growing alongside the road. At one point there was a carpet of tiny white flowers stretching back along the grass verge virtually hidden away. It was such a lovely surprise and made me smile at the end of a tiring uphill walk.

Strictly speaking it's not my garden, but it's still nature and it's like a secret find when I spot them peeking through the fence with cars and buses whizzing past in the background. There is a rustic charm to these teeny tiny flowers and the fact that they exist on the sidelines makes them all the more special.

This post is part of the epic Mammasaurus' "How Does Your Garden Grow" linky

No resolutions - in 2014 I have plans...

I've decided that I'm not making resolutions. It's always the same thing anyway, lose weight, win the lottery, get a real job, etc. so this year I've decided that it's far more productive to make plans rather than resolutions. There's a built in failure with resolutions that I am just not going to entertain any more. So, this time I'm being pro-active and setting myself goals with proper time stamps on them. I've made a decent start on the nuts and bolts ones:

- eating smaller portions and making healthier choices (except for today at lunch). This includes making sure I get myself something to eat as well as getting food for the boy and Hubbie. I may even get to drink a cup of tea or a piece of toast before it goes cold !! If this one lasts once Hubbie is back at work and the boy is at nursery I will have cracked it ! 

- trying to get to bed earlier every night so that I'm not permanently tired and grumpy. It is entirely my fault that I sit up with the macbook on my lap late at night rather than snuggling under my gorgeous duvet with Hubbie. I'm making an effort to get this one right.  

- making a choice to dress in my nice clothes rather than just wearing 'staying home' clothes all the time. It's fine to wear sweat pants for a trip to the swimming pool, but to still be wearing them to go to the shops is not ok (any more). 

- putting on a least eye liner and lippie to leave the house. I'm an Avon lady so I own more make up than the beauty counters at Selfridges. What's the point in having that much make up and never wearing it ? 

Then we have the stuff that's in the diary that will help me meet some of those other 'goals' (repeat after me - goals not resolutions):

January: There is a part time job and a training scheme that I am going to apply for that both represent things I am interested in doing and that I think I can do.
This is instead of 'get a well paid job.' I can also use the make up and nice clothes ones for this.

February: Team Honk Blogger relay from Lands End to John O'Groats. I'm part of the London leg and there is talk of four person cycles being an integral part of our section of the challenge. My dodgy knees will have to be up for this one as I am not going to wimp out and be the one that carries the water bottles !! Bring on the t-shirts ladies (and Spencer), I'm ready !!
This is to replace the usual, 'lose weight' as the other bloggers include very glamorous ones who I refuse to look lardy next to !

May: I did the full Moonwalk five years ago and I've signed up to do the half Moonwalk with my lovely friend Soraya this Summer. We're going to have such a laugh, not least as we can talk constantly for hours so the time will just fly by ! From memory it's pretty tough going, but I loved training for it and it got me very fit indeed doing all the walking.
This one is instead of the generic, 'get fit.'

June: We've bought tickets to a festival that the Pixies are headlining in London. It's a grown up day out and while I don't think seeing an act outdoors is the best way to do it, this is to get over my aversion to festivals. I'm sure it won't be all mud and botulism burgers really.
This one is to replace the 'do things with Hubbie.'

August: Last Summer me and Hubbie went to the Edge of the Sea two day festival in Brighton and loved it. Our boy stayed with Grandma and Grandpa (aka Grumps) and he loved that too. This time we're going to book a nice hotel and make a weekend of it instead of constantly ringing to check if he's eaten and if he's missing us.
This one is in place of, 'give the boy some independence.'

In September our boy will turn 4 and in October we'll celebrate 8 years of marriage. By that time I hope to have made great progress with my goals for the year. I hope in my round up of 2014 I'll be saying, "I love it when a plan comes together" while chomping on a pretend cigar rather than, "I ain't getting on no plane sucker" while sipping a glass of milk that's been spiked with knock out drops.

Whatever you are doing to see in the New Year I hope you have a wonderful time.

See you on the other side :o)