Birthday wishes

Did I mention I have a birthday this year with a zero in it ? 

Well in case I didn't yes I am going to be 50 in May. I know, I know, I don't look old enough. Is this a big deal ? Well in itself the number isn't. What is meaningful, however, is going into the next decade having had yet another profound life change. I went into my 30s as a single woman coming out of an abusive marriage. Into my 40s as a mother and now I am single parenting and redefining my life after a prolonged period of trauma. Is that worth celebrating ? I'm not entirely convinced it is if I'm honest. After all I'm dealing with heightened senses and trying to keep two small boys well and safe in all of this.

This past and week has been a horror show. I've felt like a failure and punished myself mentally the whole time. This weekend has pushed me into a place that I just don't recognise. Since I've been doing this on my own I've tried to ensure the boys do 'fun' things with me and they are happy and occupied. This can be exhausting - and costly - so I've decided to create some new routines that enable us to all be with each other, but not always going out to eat or for entertainment. Onesie and movie Friday inspires the boys to negotiate to choose a movie to watch and they also co-ordinate their clothes so we all follow a theme or colour scheme. This means animal onesies or pyjamas nothing too scary.

Tonight, after two days of bickering and just generally being bad tempered we all sat and ate dinner together. The boys thanked me for making food they liked (different meals obvs) and we watched Sing while we ate. It reminded me that I love the music from that movie. It also enabled me to relax that I hadn't got it wrong as we were all sitting and eating together. Who is in our family and who is not is an issue that is quite current for my boys. They like to be clear and appraised of the facts. This has proven tricky as I can't always supply information they want in an age appropriate style. What I can do is take them to the south coast and watch them run around and ensure they have a snack with them. At the risk of sounding sappy I was just so pleased they both ate their meal tonight and were happy and full. That's not a bad aspiration to have really.

I realise that I am so fortunate to have my wonderful boys and the most amazing friends in my life. I really don’t need anything*. So instead of planning a big party or celebration I am giving myself some challenges this year. Pushing myself to do things I haven't done before or to do more. I'm taking part in a swimathon with my son who is on the swim team at school so that will really make me work hard. I'm taking part in a few charity walks with my boys as they are older now and have the stamina and capability to do a 5k walk. I intend to go on the zip wire at the Eden Project in Cornwall - which I have said for years I will do in my 50th year and whaddya know it's here now !! 

I’ve also decided to give myself some gifts. I am going to see some great artists this year including Elvis Costello, Nathaniel Rateliff and Jools Holland. I’m going to shows by Stewart Lee and Dita Von Teese who I've seen a few times before, but I love so much I'm going again. I am beyond excited to finally see Debbie Harry and Chris Stein in conversation having missed out on getting to a book signing she did last year - this is so much better and I get to go with my lovely pal Zoe too.

After such a long period of feeling like everything is out of my control I am finally giving myself permission to be kind to me. I have spent a long time ensuring my boys are safe and cared for and it's now my turn to say “YES !” to all the wondrous things that are yet to come for me. This might mean giving myself permission to go on a weekend retreat on my own. I did that already this year having booked it last Autumn. I loved it and the time away was much needed and appreciated.

On a practical note I want to get a new car so that we can go on more road trips and adventures together. We love our breaks away and the boys now help pack the car and entertain themselves while I play music in the front on long drives.  I pack their rucksacks with snacks, games and books so they can keep themselves busy and we have our travel sweet of choice - Percy Pigs. The car has done sterling service, but we now need something that we can strap our bikes onto and get on the open road. I have big dreams for the trips we will do !

My promises to me are quite practical really :

- I will spoil myself. Whether that is a spa day, a really nice meal or a mini break. 

- I will get paid for the writing and speaking that I love to do. 

- I will spend time by the sea and channel the peace I find in yoga and swimming.

I'll be raising money for good causes this year too and it would mean a lot to me if I could get support for these. I don't need any gifts. I have been blessed with plenty in my life. I really have.

*but I have got a birthday list on Amazon.

Fame at last...

Well this happened. 

In January I decided I was going to cut off all my hair to raise money for Macmillan and donate it to charity. 

Macmillan contacted me and asked if I'd like to take part in a photoshoot for them and I said, "hella yeah !" 800 photos later they produced this for the new fundraising pack. It even features the hand of my wonderful hairdresser Alan. 

The hair was donated to Little Princess Trust who produce real hair wigs for children and young people with hair loss from cancer treatment. It's a wonderful charity and I'm so proud to have been able to do this. 

So the next big challenge is the Royal Parks half marathon that I'm going to run in October. It's the furthest distance I've run and it's a real effort for me to train for this. I am hoping my shorter hair will make me more aerodynamic so I don't make a complete idiot of myself ! The training plan starts next Monday and I'm hoping to add to the £1200 I've already raised for the fantastic work that Macmillan do to support people with cancer and those who care for them. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported my efforts so far, financially and emotionally. I'm touched by the care and kindness that so many lovely folk have shown me. It hasn't made the challenges (both people and things) easier to deal with, but it's been reassuring to have a hand to hold and a listening ear.  

You can follow my progress on Instagram and if you want to support Macmillan I have a fundraising page. 

Hair today, gone tomorrow (sorry, I'll get me coat)

Last Friday I went for my swim after the school run as usual and came home to have something to eat before I went to visit my friend at the Marsden in Chelsea. I sent her a message just to check it was still ok to visit in case she was having a bad day. Her husband contacted me to say if I had already left to not worry, but to be prepared to see her very, very ill. I spoke to him for a little while and reassured him that it was not a problem and I'd leave it for another day when she felt up to having a visit. He told me he's been there every day and it's been really difficult seeing her so unwell. It's hardly surprising considering she's had so many vital organs removed and is on many drugs to keep her alive right now. I told him if he needed anything - a cup of tea, a chat or a hug we are here for him. 

It was then I realised the true importance of a charity like Macmillan as it isn't just J who is dealing with cancer it's her husband too. He's a bit of a joker and doesn't let on when he's worried, but I've known J for a few years and she told me that he panics and just isn't able to deal with the stress of his wife being ill. I don't know when I'll get to see her, but the last thing I want to do is add to his concerns. 

Today I went to see Soraya's partner as we hadn't seen each other in a few weeks and I wanted to check how he's doing. It was difficult and sad and emotional. I left feeling that I should have been able to do more. I'm not sure what I thought that would be or what form it would take. I told him that tomorrow I'm cutting off my hair to donate to Little Princess Trust and to raise funds for Macmillan in Soraya's name. He thanked me and offered to give me her wigs. I declined. I'm not sure I can rock a syrup to be honest and I owe it to all those who sponsored me to display the shorn look. 

Lovely Alan has offered to donate the cost of the haircut to my fundraising total and Macmillan are coming along to photograph and film the whole thing. I promise I will share it when I have it. 

Thank you everyone who has been so incredibly generous and supported me in this crazy endeavour.  I just looked at the total on my fundraising page for Macmillan and it's well over £1,000 !!!  

Right, I'm off to bed now - see you on the other side. 

Why I'm walking to support Help for Heroes

Brown Bear had his first sleepover with the Scouts last night. Very little sleep occured, but he came home exhausted and happy. They had put up a tent, watched a movie until late at night, slept in sleeping bags and this morning he took part in a church parade for remembrance Sunday. They also observed a silence in commemoration of the fallen. At school on Friday both Blue and Brown Bears took part in a school service of commemmoration and they stood in silence to remember the fallen. Hubbie and I were home this morning when the Cenotaph was shown on TV. He scooped up Blue Bear and we all stood watching the service and even managed to keep him quiet.

A few years ago we took Brown Bear to see the poppies at the Tower of London and we talked to him about what they meant and explained that the silence is a sign of respect. He was very young, but it seems to have struck a chord with him and he still loves to talk about it. At school his project this term is WW1 and he has taken a great interest in the topic.

I worry that talking to my children about war might frighten them. That they will be sad to hear about the young soldiers and the killing and the loss. Instead remembrance is a time to talk about bravery, sacrifice and pride. I am proud that my grandfather was in the army. I never got to meet him, but I know enough about him to feel a sense of gratitude for his service. It is also important to tell my children about those who return from service. Those who have served and might now need help to manage their lives.

It is with his in mind that I wanted to tell you that Hubbie and I are raising money for Help for Heroes.

"Help for Heroes supports those with injuries and illnesses attributable to their service in the British Armed Forces. No matter when someone served, we believe that those prepared to put their lives second, deserve a second chance at life.

Every course and activity we offer aims to empower them to look beyond illness and injury, regain their purpose, reach their potential and have a positive impact on society.

How we do it

Working with a vast network of professionals and partners, we help our Veterans and their families through physical and emotional rehabilitation, identifying new career opportunities as well as financial and welfare support.

We know that those who served together, recover better together - supporting each other, enjoying the camaraderie and sense of fellowship once more.

The Nation has united behind our Armed Forces. During our first 10 years, we’ve directly helped more than 17,000 individuals and their families in this way. Offering this to thousands more who need it remains possible thanks to our supporters, and specialist charity partners."

I hope you agree that Help for Heroes is an amazing charity doing fantastic work. If you can support our fundraising efforts I'd be delighted: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tiswaz

I'm a walking

Today I calculated that I've walked 158 training miles so far in preparation for the Moonwalk and I have at least 77 miles to go before the big walk.

On the evening of Sat 13th - Sun 14th May I'll be walking 26.2 miles through London wearing a decorated bra to raise money for breast cancer treatment and support services. I'm doing it because both Hubbie and I have lost loved ones to cancer - as have so many people.

I've taken part in the Moonwalk twice before. The first time was 8 years ago before Brown Bear was born and I had all the time in the world to train and walking was a jolly jape rather than a military operation fitted in between school and nursery drop off and pick ups. It was the most challenging thing I've done (and I'm including taking the boys to Ikea during the school holidays - seriously what was I thinking ?) which is why it's taken me so long to do it again.

The last time I did the moonwalk was with my wonderful friend Soraya and we walked the half moon to celebrate her surviving breast cancer. It was an emotional night and one I'm so proud to have shared with her as it meant so much to me that she made it and is here now to cheer me along.

Walking is a meditative thing for me and I find that whatever mood I'm in when I start by the time I've been walking for an hour or so I've already written a novel in my head and solved at least one world issue. I smile at people walking their dogs and appreciate the trees, plants and flowers all around me. When I've been walking through London I notice how many places I know from having worked there and others from disastrous first dates.

I have at least 77 more training miles to go before the big night. As the weather improves I'm enjoying the walks a lot more than when I started them in the wintry climes of February.

I've got a sponsorship page here - if you are able to sponsor me I'd be so grateful: https://moonwalklondon2017.everydayhero.com/uk/swazi

For now though think of me and my poor sore feet.

Honk if you wanna go faster !

This year has already been one of fundraising firsts. I spent February sugar free to raise money for Cancer Research UK - surprisingly no one was harmed in my sugar-free state. Well actually my macbook was on the receiving end of an errant cup of tea, but so far is appears to have survived any long term harm. I figured that as it's the shortest month it would be the best one to do something as radical as give up sugar and I managed it. Ok, there were a couple of notable exceptions - I did have a dessert on Valentine's Day and on the last day of February I had a pancake with sugar and lemon on it. Otherwise I did pretty well and I think it's given me an appreciation of how much sugar I was eating and how little I really need it. 

As if I wasn't a sucker enough for punishment I'm taking part in Dechox this month. Yep, I'm staying off the chocolate for a whole month longer to raise funds for the British Heart Foundation. At least at the end of this it's Easter so I can indulge, but from past experience the anticipation of chocolate far exceeds the need for it once the deprivation ends.

I put on my Comic Relief face on the train 

You will probably have seen by now that I spent yesterday in the company of fellow Team Honkers and we walked ten miles around London wearing Red Nose themed outfits and preparing meals at each stop. This annual fundraiser is for Comic Relief and this year we called it The Honk Line - I've been calling it Honk The Line Johnny Cash style all this time. 

A much needed cuppa and a borrowed tutu 

First up we met up in Highgate and had breakfast in Waterlow Park - just as we were about to leave we bumped into Jamie Oliver with this wife Jools and their kids. He kindly agreed to a photo with a gaggle of overexcited people in red nose day gear. (If you don't believe me check out my twitter feed).

The firepod 

The idea of preparing food at each stop was taken up with gusto by the lovely team at Firepod and they carried this amazing bit of kit around with us for the whole day. When we stopped for lunch they made us fresh and delicious pizzas to eat. 

Red Nose pizza 

Our final meal stop was afternoon tea at Lincoln's Inn Fields. We were all pretty tired by this point and needed the sit down. There were lots of people and dogs in the park enjoying the sunshine and a police helicopter overhead for a bit of local colour. Getting back up to do the final leg was not appealing in the slightest. Not least as my feet were really aching by this point and even today I'm feeling pain in my ankles. In total I walked ten miles and came home for a hot bath. I had hoped for breakfast in bed this morning, but for once the boys didn't wake up at 6am ready to rumble. 

It's not a tea party without a mad hatter 

Ok, so it was tiring and all that, but the point of it all was to raise money so here's as link to my fundraising page: https://my.rednoseday.com/sponsor/Swazi As a team we've already raised almost £3,000 and with more events to come next weekend with Come Honk With Me we hope to exceed our past efforts. Your generosity really will help to make a world of difference to people living unimaginably tough lives. Thank you.

Red Nose Day is actually on Friday 24th March and it's going to be fantastic. I'm thinking of going to this - a crafternoon sounds wonderful doesn't it ?

Of course as this is me it doesn't end here - this walk was mere training for the 26.2 mile Moonwalk in May - I'll keep you posted... 

Come ride with me - well with East Park RDA actually.

Having fun during a riding lesson

It's not a matter of public record, but I am a big fan of the Archers. It was while discussing this shared interest that the topic of the RDA (Riding for the Disabled Association) came about. You see while the Archers storylines often feature horses and stables there is no mention of any riding by or for disabled people. It was this in mind that I was delighted to be invited by Comic Relief to visit a project they fund, East Park Riding for the Disabled Group in Surrey.

I met Sally who runs the riding school with her husband and daughter and the invaluable help of 80 volunteers. The riding school is a registered charity and they fundraise in order to provide the lessons at a subsidised cost for the children. Parents make a contribution towards the lessons and the school offers extraordinary support. The instructors and volunteers have expectations of the children and their abilities. This is not a case of putting a child on a pony and walking them round a bit. They work towards assessments and take part in competitions. Some children are able to concentrate here where they struggle at school and the teacher has noticed that one child who often needs time out in the classroom has been a lot calmer when attending East Park.

The hat and boot room 

As the children put on their riding hats and boots the ponies are led in and walked around. Then each child goes up one in turn to check the bridle and show they know how to take care of their pony. On the morning I went it was Michael's first riding lesson and his pony came up to say hello before the lesson started. Michael chatters incessantly, he is a twin and has a range of special needs. He was very excited about riding for the first time. I also met a girl who a year ago was fully sighted and has now lost almost all of her sight. It has been a life changing experience that has taken away her confidence. Another child has been in and out of school having chemotherapy treatment. It is hoped that riding will help all these children overcome their fears and anxieties as well as being great fun.

Michael meets one of the ponies before his first lesson

There were two lessons while I was there both with children from the same mainstream school. The children who attend have a wide range of different abilities including special needs and visual impairment and they all look forward to their weekly riding lesson. I observed how calm they were, the attention they paid to instructions and how they undertook specific exercises to encourage movement and co-ordination. One of the moves across the body supports physiotherapeutic work to help children with balance.

Practising a figure eight for competition

Comic Relief fund a great many projects in the UK and I'm so pleased that I got to see this one. I've been aware of riding for the disabled for many years, but haven't seen it. The children I met and talked to have benefited in so many ways and the ponies are lovely and so patient.

The stars of the riding school 

Once again I'll be taking part in a creative fundraising attempt as part of Team Honk. We're a group of bloggers from all over the country who have previously passed a baton from Lands End to John O'Groats (well the other way round actually) and danced for six hours at Wembley Arena. Last year three of us visited as many museums as we could in London in one day - we managed 27 of them. This year we are taking part in 'Come Honk With Me,' and I'll be travelling round parks in London with fellow London Honkers dressed for dinner and preparing meals as we go. I have no idea how yet - we never do before we begin - but I guarantee it's going to be fun and we hope to raise a lot of money to enable Comic Relief to continue funding fantastic projects like the one I visited.  

A carriage that has been donated to East Park RDA 

Thanks to Dara at Comic Relief, Sally at East Park RDA and Mrs Penny from St Stephen's School. 

Behind the scenes of the London Museum Dash

Me, Penny and Nell pass the proud

Yesterday I took part in a full day London Museum Dash with these two awesome ladies. We took photos, we shared on social media and we walked. A lot. There is so much to tell and my brain can't quite cope just yet. Instead I was hoping to produce a funky infographic for you, but despite all the google searches promising, 'make an infographic in an hour,' the task has defeated me. Instead here are some of the stats from the day:

35,000 steps - that's how many we walked yesteday. Not allowing for all the walking to get there and to come home. Still, that's a lot.

30km  - is how far we travelled during the course of the challenge. Yep also a lot.

26 museums - we travelled to all corners of London to get as much variety as possible.

9 hours - in each other's company and not a cross word between us !

4 bonus stops - we even managed to visit a few museums that weren't on the plan. Just because.

Fun and games while dashing

4 bus journeys - admittedly two of them were unplanned (see below)

2 tube journeys - to cover the longest distances on the day. And to give us a rest :)

2 pairs of socks - I had a sock change halfway. A trick I've learned from previous challenges

1 broken phone - to my shame I dropped Penny's phone while social media-ing. She was very nice about the shattered screen. 

I almost missed stop - Call it tiredness, or brain fade, but we almost didn't make it to Tate Britain when the bus we were on sailed past. Thankfully an additional bus ride (or 2) and we were back on track.

Penny, Nell and I thank everyone who has already donated and it's not too late if you'd like to sponsor me: http://my.sportrelief.com/sponsor/swazirodgers

Celebration deely boppers

Give up chocolate ? Seriously ?

It's the first of March and for some reason that escapes me right now I signed up for Dechox 2016. The British Heart Foundation do amazing work and with the history of heart problems in my family it is a cause that I feel very close to. I've named the charity in my will as I feel so strongly about the value of what they do.

So strongly - in fact - that I'm giving up chocolate for this whole month and asking folks to sponsor this madness. You see I love chocolate so much that I don't just buy one bar I bulk purchase it:

I know I don't 'need' chocolate, but that's hardly the point. You've seen the name of this blog, I consume chocolate like it's a basic nutrient. For me it is. So I'm asking for some moral support from this guy: 

And some financial support from you guys: 

Please don't let this enormous personal sacrifice be in vain ! 

If you can sponsor me I'd be very grateful - my sponsorship page is here: Dechox 2016

A long walk, a newborn and part lego child: my week in photos.

Survival kit for walkers

At the start of the week I was recovering from the Shine Walk for Cancer Research UK. It was great to take part and I'm delighted that me and my walking pal Carole did it in such a fantastic time of just over 4 hours. I did feel it for a few days afterwards though !

Oi, Legohead !!

This week Big Boy turned 5 years old and he had so many presents it took ages to open them all. He is so very lucky to have so many people who love him so much. I bet you'll never guess what his favourite toys are ?

Teeny tiny baby 

By far my best moment this week was having baby cuddles with my first nephew. He's so adorable and I could quite easily have spent all day fussing him, but I gave him back to my sister - albeit reluctantly.

A rose between, well many thorns 

I'm often embarrassed by our front garden as all the neighbours have such neat and tidy lawns and borders and ours is such a jungle in comparison. Then I noticed this beautiful rose and it made me forget all the straggly plants around it and appreciate the beauty in one single bloom instead. 

Nose to nose - fur to fur

Tonight I'm typing this while sitting up in bed and Neo is lying at my feet with his new friend. I'd say that's a pretty good way to end the week.

Can eating cake cure cancer ? I'm not sure, but it probably helps.

This week I'm all about raising awareness and money for cancer charities. When I was growing up no one mentioned cancer at all and I thought it was a rare thing that only happened to other people. As time has gone on I've worked with people who have developed cancer, my aunt was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and passed away not long after. My beautiful friend Soraya was diagnosed with breast cancer, was treated for it and last year we did the Moonwalk together to celebrate her recovery. In a few weeks time I will visit the lovely Penny who was the midwife who attended the birth of Big Boy. A few years ago Penny was told she had pancreatic cancer and that her prognosis was bleak, she refused to give in and defied the odds to recover from it.

Soraya and me before the long walk 

That's why this week I'm spending a lot of time eating cake. Well, not just me. I hosted a Macmillan Coffee morning earlier in the week and all the lovely guests who attended brought cake - and barely ate any - so I had loads left over. Then today we had another coffee morning at playgroup and there was even more cake. So I have started to act as a 'cake courier.' I'm delivering cake to friends locally in return for a donation to Macmillan.

Loadsa lovely cake 

I have a personal connection to Macmillan as their nurses have cared for and supported friends and loved ones who have sadly passed away. The nurses were kind enough to attend the funerals and I know how much it meant to the family members that the care extended beyond their lives. It was also great to be able to thank the nurses for providing end of life care. I have a lot of respect for Macmillan and the work they do.

All ready to raise funds for Macmillan

On Saturday night I will be walking a half marathon through London with my lovely friend Carole to raise money for Cancer Research UK. I've been a bit under that weather for over a week so my training has taken a bit of a hit, but I've walked a full marathon before so I know I can do it. I'll be bold and brave and shine brightly for all those wonderful people I know whose lives have been affected by cancer.

If you would like to sponsor me that would be fantastic. Any amount will make such a difference and I promise that this is the last fundraising ask I will make for a while. I'm a bit done in with having done the danceathon earlier in the year and I think I'll take a break after the walk.

You never know this cake courier thing might take off :)

When love doesn't save the day what happens ?

Believe me when I say the above not with cynicism, but with a heavy heart. You already know that I am a big fan of love - I am soppy and embarrassing, with Hubbie, my family, friends and my children. Despite my vow not to, I slobber all over my sons when I drop them off anywhere, much to their embarrassment. Yes, even the almost 2 year old ! 

You can't have missed the news about the closure of the charity Kids Company and the subsequent fallout in the media. On the one hand there are accusations that the charity was not financially viable and on the other the claim that it is the speculation in the media that led to donations drying up. I have over 20 years experience of the charity sector starting out as a volunteer with Terrence Higgins Trust in 1994, working with children's charities, overseas agencies and as a fundraising director in latter years. I have seen a lot of what goes well and plenty of what goes wrong with charities. I've never known a charity to close like this. The Diana Memorial Fund closed a few years ago following a court case they took against the Franklin Mint in the US. The fund lost resulting in a large payout of legal fees that made dent in their finances. There were many charities that relied on funding from them who faced closure and it was a salutary lesson to the sector to diversify funding and not to rely on one major source of income.

We haven't heard the full story about what happened at Kids Company yet and may never truly know. It's terribly sad for all the young people who were helped by the charity and for all the staff who were committed to the work they loved doing. Now, I'm not an expert, but I've learned a lot in the last 20 years and some of what I know might help explain what seems inexplicable here.

Work your way out of a job:

First up charities exist to meet a need that is not already being served. Barnardos, Save the Children and Kids Company all came about to provide care for children who would otherwise be left uncared for and neglected. Medical charities are often started to support people who are confounded about how to cope with life changing circumstances. The Anthony Nolan Trust was founded by parents who were alone and in need of help when their son Anthony was ill and needed a bone marrow transplant. For years they have provided this support to others and now also campaign to encourage more people to become bone marrow donors. My point is that a charity is started to fill a gap and at some point surely the aim must be to negate the need to exist at all ? After all what says success like not being needed any more ? Isn't it more of a win for a charity to say 'we have eradicated this disease' than to say 'we have helped more people with this disease this year than last'. Ok that is probably utopian, but it has been my observation that as charities grow their aim is to diversify and increase revenue to deliver more and more services rather than to work towards their own end. After all when you have offices and staff salaries to pay for why would you want to wind down the organisation ? Well, maybe because you have succeeded in making the service you provide a mainstream one that is available or because the need for the service has gone. That might seem idealistic, but isn't the headline aim of any charity working with vulnerable children and young people who have been neglected or abused to stop the abuse happening in the first place ?

Charisma at the top:

I've worked for my fair share of visionary charity founders. They are inspiring, driven and charismatic. Rarely are they also managers or business minded. When you have a mantra like, "love will cure all" why deal with boring details like salaries and tax returns ? It's so easy to praise the 'front line' services and castigate agencies for having managers and back office staff. Well how do you think those front line staff are CRB checked, insured and paid ? Or have the equipment they need to do their work ? That the offices you work in are paid for and the paper in the photocopier is bought and the broadband is connected and working. Someone has to fundraise to pay for all of that, someone else has to have legal knowledge to ensure that young people, children, older people and anyone else is safe and protected. It's not glamorous, but it is essential. If you've ever had an operation did you get a call from your consultant to book you in or did someone in an admin department advise you of the date you would be seen ? Back office is necessary to enable front line to function. The face of the organisation rarely takes any interest in the functions that make their charity tick.

Love is all you need:

When a founder/chief executive says something like, "love is what these children need," I agree, of course they do. They also need a safe place and trusted people to support them. Love doesn't pay for accommodation and it isn't ensuring they are safe from harm. An abuser will say they love the person they hurt. A parent who has neglected their children will insist they love them while also destroying their childhood. Love will definitely make a big difference, but so can care, nutrition and a safe place to stay - all of which can cost money. Which brings us to...

Show me the money:

Believe me when I say it's not easy to ask for money. I wish it was a case of just saying, "this is really important work, you know that, please fund it." It isn't. When I am fundraising by doing something daft like dancing for 6 hours or walking all night it's friends and family who I'm asking to give money to a good cause. It's asking them to support what I'm doing in the name of a good cause. When I'm fundraising for a charity that I work for it's often trusts and companies who I am applying to. They are being asked by other competing charities whose causes are just as compelling, so how do they decide ? Well they often have very clear criteria of what they will fund - that makes sense. Others will refuse to fund existing work or salaries or capital projects. All of which means that once work is established it's very difficult to fund it to continue. Some charities respond by repackaging what they are doing so it looks new and shiny. Others chase the money and change what they do in order to keep going. It's not a great situation either way. What it does mean is that everyone is fighting for the same pot of money.

Friends in high places:

When the head of a charity is always in the media portraying their own take on the charity instead of the reality it is very difficult for the work of the charity to continue. That same founder / Chief Executive figure will most likely refuse to listen to the people who do pay salaries and fundraise because they have the bigger vision and don't want to get bogged down with the boring stuff like the bottom line. If that same person then says they will go and get a handout from their 'friendly donor' it's neither transparent nor ethical, but you're not allowed to challenge the person at the top. When that friendly donor is high profile and decides to withdraw support what happens ? Well, I have had to negotiate with a corporate donor who wanted their money back because they had no idea what had been done with it. No one wants to have to do that, but if you aren't being open and honest with donors that will happen. Worst case scenario you will have to pay it back. Even worse case scenario you will have no money and have to close. Leaving the benefactors and staff with nowhere to go.

It's not all work, work, work:

Most people I've worked with in charity have a deep commitment to the cause. They also have a love of what they do because - let's face it - they aren't in the best paid jobs. The backbone of the charity sector is the work of volunteers. They deliver services, collect donations, fundraise, organise events, bake cakes, answer phones and without them it would just not be possible to function. No one wants to stop delivering services they believe in or to leave children and young people or older people or animals without any care or support. I say this as someone who has spent time overseas with children in orphanages and refugee camps - it made it glaringly obvious why the cause was so important. I have also worked to fundraise for organisations that provide support to care leavers and young people at risk of crime. It's not an easy cause, but it's one that needs the money as otherwise no one else is doing it.

There isn't room for everyone:

Not every charity will make it and the phrase 'too big to fail' cannot be truer here. Some are such leviathans that it's seen as irresponsible to let them go bust, but why are they so big in the first place ? It's not like any one charity is genuinely unique any more. There are many cancer charities. Myriad medical charities. So many children's charities. The minute differences are negligible. More importantly they're often delivering work we don't realise is charitable. Were you aware that air ambulance is a charity that has to fundraise ? An emergency service provided by charity. Most services for prisoners are delivered by charities as are support services for looked after children. Aren't these public provisions ? Well maybe they should be, but with little regulation and new charities being created every day the money just won't go round. If a charity is able to use public funds like a personal piggy bank and then to not even account for the money how is that fair ? 


This is a blog post I never intended to write, but with so much comment and inference about the current news story I just wanted to add my two pen'orth. Fundamentally there are too many charities. There's not enough money for everyone. If you're fortunate enough to be funded well you owe it to those you work with to be responsible and make that money work the best way. This doesn't mean going back to keep asking for more to fill gaps, but being honest about where it's spent and why. If you can't and that results in funders deciding not to keep funding your cause you can't then lash out at everyone with guilt inducing accusations of service users let down.


Not being sustainable and claiming that love will feed, clothe, counsel and heal wounded children is irresponsible. More importantly it's devastating for the young people who will lose out at a result of this. Right now the last thing they are feeling is loved.  

My thank you dance for sponsoring me to dance non-stop for 6 hours :)

I promised to video a dance to say thanks for sponsoring me - so here it is :) 

Wish me luck with tomorrow. It's just struck me that 6 hours is a very long time to dance and I'm going to be pushing myself to my limit !

If you haven't sponsored me yet it's not too late: www.my.rednoseday.com/sponsor/swazirodgers

Save the Children & Mothercare Born to… range

Years ago I worked for Save The Children at their offices in Mary Datchelor House in Camberwell. I was a merchandising assistant on a maternity cover and helped produce the Christmas catalogue and manage stock in the run up to the busy season for card sales. It was very interesting and gave me a good idea about how charity works which led to a career in the voluntary sector that has spanned over 12 years.

It also taught me that selling items for charity can be a really good way to generate support so I was very keen to find out more about a new initiative from Save the Children in conjunction with Mothercare. The range is a new clothing collection aimed at babies and children age 0 to 8 years and for every item sold, Mothercare will donate £1 to Save the Children. You can find out more and view the range here: Mothercare Born to range

The lovely folks at Save the Children sent us a t shirt from the new range which my boy loves. It bears the legend 'Born to Ride' and is perfect for him to wear when riding his new scooter. This range is a very reasonable price too, with this t shirt costing £5. It's a good fit for him and the colours are vibrant - it hasn't been washed yet so I can't comment on how well it washes. There is a discreet Save the Children label on the hem of the shirt which did prompt questions from family and meant I could explain the charity link.

I love the idea of buying children's clothing that benefits children who are in need. In the run up to Christmas the range is ideal to add to a present list so that friends and family can feel good about the pressie they've bought for your little one, especially as the items are not that expensive. Anything that raises the profile of charities doing important work is a good thing in my book. I've worked as a fundraiser for many years so I know how difficult it can be to inspire people to give and this partnership between two high profile organisations that are linked with children is a great fit with the potential to raise a lot of money for Save the Children. 

Disclosure: I was not paid for this post, but did receive a t-shirt free of charge from Save the Children.