Just like honey: resolutions revisited

Come to Mama !!

You know how the new enemy is sugar ? How we keep seeing diet plans encouraging us to 'kick the habit' of sweet stuff ? Even Davina has got in on the act and her latest New Year plan is to ditch sugar in five weeks. Well I've got news for everyone that will save you the money (or you can send it to me - I'll add it to my fundraising total for Comic Relief I promise !)

I've done it.

I've broken my dependence on sugar and no longer crave it.

In a month.

In January I decided to give my body a break from the rubbish I had been filling it with over Christmas. I stopped eating chocolate, puddings, cakes, 'treats' and alcohol. Not for money, not as a precursor to going sober or anything. Just. I did it last year and lost half a stone. This year I also cut back on bread and started making green smoothies in the morning which has been a whole other journey. In the mornings I've been blending up banana, spinach, avocado, coconut water, chia seeds and random fruit and drinking them on my way to work. I'm not sure if they've had any miraculous effects on my health, but I'm pretty sure it's better for me than a latte and a pain au chocolat.

Ok, it doesn't look green, but it actually is :) 

Anyway, I digress. So, I've cut out chocolate before and what I've noticed is that everything tastes far too sweet even a few days after stopping eating sweet stuff. I don't have sugar in my tea or eat cereals and I don't drink fizzy pop or squashes either. I do, however, work in an office were there are always 'treats' around and it's very tempting. I've been out to eat with friends a few times since I started this and I've skipped desert and stuck to water or soft drinks. It's been fine. No one even notices really.

So what happens tomorrow ? Well. I had been telling everyone that I'm going to have a binge on sweets, cakes and biscuits tomorrow and I did buy a nice bottle of wine this evening. Truth is though, I'm not sure I'll want to stuff myself now I'm out of the habit. I'm now used to stopping to think about what I'm going to eat and considering whether or not I'm hungry or just bored.

The greatest breakfast there is. 

I'm not saying I'll be blending green smoothies every day of the week or that I'll eschew french pastries in favour of porridge when I'm getting into work at some unearthly hour. What I will do is try and maintain some of the momentum I've gained from ditching the unhealthy food. So there's that.

Now where did I put that bag of giant chocolate buttons ?

Pigs can fly actually - so long as they're female

My boy: "Mummy can you put a lady driver into the helicopter please ?"

Me: "Of course I can sweetie."

My boy the feminist :) 

Peppa the pilot :) 

You will always be my special one

You will always be my special one. The one that I carried for 9 months - and then some - you were comfy and I was in no rush either. The one that I talked to, sang, "I love you baby" to. The one that I talked to when I couldn't sleep because you were such an active, bouncy baby.

Christmas Baby

When you ask me what it was like to meet for the first time I will tell you that we already knew each other. That when I felt you in distress I kept reassuring you that it was going to be ok and I was there. I talked to you and to myself. I prayed for you and for me. I heard you before I saw you. Hubbie looked over with moist eyes and the look of a tired, overwhelmed and immensely proud Daddy holding his precious first born for the first time. He brought you over to me and I held you close and kissed your face. I closed my eyes and said a thank you prayer for your safe delivery. 

If only I could remember how many teeth you had at one year old. I'm sorry now that I didn't document every moment of every day of your life so far. I have so many photos and some videos and many, many memories, but I wish I had been able to have a permanent record of all of it instead of the snippets I have now.

Neo posing

I remember your first steps in this house - confident and brave. The face you made when you first tried chocolate - pure joy. How you were stunned the first time you realised that Neo could move around and wasn't a stuffed animal like all your teddy bears and toys. Ok, he chooses to be still, but that is a cat's prerogative.

Now you can write your own name. You can hold a conversation. I have to explain everything to your satisfaction. You are a boy and not a baby any more.

Serious writing

But you are my baby. You crawl over to sit in my lap and ask me to put my arms around you. You rest your head on my chest and put your fingers in your mouth and hold your much-loved, old teddy bear to your nose. Complete peace. 

No one will ever take your place as my beloved first born son. 

You will always be my special one.  

My precious boy

The playlist of my week: from manic to epic in five days :)

I've had a pretty full on week so I've been blogging less frequently than I had intended. To ensure you don't feel too neglected I've put this week to music. Just for you here's the playlist of my week:

Manic Monday pretty much sums it up for the day I had:

On Tuesday I went to Northern Ireland for the first time this week, so I've chosen Belfast Child:

Wednesday saw me take my second flight of the week - the one that brought me home to my boys:

I was totally shattered, but still taught yoga on Thursday evening - felt so much better for doing it:

And then we have today - an epic Friday and one that deserves a big resounding anthem:

Have a super weekend and I hope it's a bit like this:

Don't tell me to relax !!

Blue skies

This morning I was up, showered and dressed before my son woke up. I crept into his room, kissed him softly and whispered, "I love you." 

The cab arrived to take me to the station and I arrived at the airport with hours to spare. I had time to eat breakfast and to drink more than one (hot) cup of tea. 

As I boarded the flight I smiled as I remembered the last time I went on a plane it was with my boy and he was suitably excited - as a 4 year old should be.

The plane I travelled on

The flight was smooth and my meetings went well. I checked into my hotel and it's suitably comfy. After a swim and some hot food I spoke to my boy on FaceTime. We blew kisses and said "I love you, sleep well, see you tomorrow." 

I'm going to watch a movie in bed - uninterrupted by the 4 year old or the cat - I'll wake up at a time of my choosing rather than when one of them wakes up needing something. In the morning I'll be free to go for a run, a swim and have a relaxed breakfast. Oh the luxury.

We need cooler names for London airports !

So with all these indulgences why am I sitting here blogging instead of chilling out ? Well, I'll tell you. It's because I miss all of it. The early starts, the missed breakfasts, the demanding child and cat, the military planning with Hubbie to squeeze in a swim. 

Is it relaxing if I'm not with them ? Yes, sort of. Is it quieter ? Yes, of course. Is it enjoyable ? No, not really.

I'm looking forward to getting back to all of them. Relaxing is overrated :)

A bed to myself ? That truly is luxury 

How are you ? Oh, wait, don't tell me.

You know when you ask someone how they've been and they say something like, 'fine' or 'not bad' - unless they're not British, in which case they might take you literally and actually tell you. Well, I had one of those unexpected conversations when it became a bit too informative for my comfort. I mean it started out as a casual reference to having been hospitalised a while back so later in the conversation I said, "so what were you in hospital for ? Unless you don't want to talk about it." See what I did there ? I gave them an out while also implying that if it was a bit personal / icky it was not to be shared.

Now, bear in mind I've had a few friends who've had proper serious health issues over the years. One friend who came back from death - which would make her a zombie I guess, but I'm not going to tell here that you said that. Ok, I'll back up a bit here, her heart stopped, while in an ambulance with paramedics who had the paddles that brought her back to life. When I spoke to her afterwards she described it as an 'incident.' Then there's the friend who survived breast cancer and when we talked about it she would say, 'when I was unwell.' Understatement and brushing over it to get back to talking about shoes and shampoo is the done thing with my friends really. So when this chap went into great detail using words like 'gouge' and gave a visual representation of how much was removed - honestly - it was a bit disconcerting.

I think it must be a man thing though. My father-in-law will happily share his medical woes - in great detail - with anyone who is within hearing distance. This isn't so bad unless he's referring to body parts I don't want to hear about or functions I'd rather not discuss. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not a prude. Heart friend and I have had very detailed conversations about very personal matters. Breast cancer friend (I don't call them that to their faces of course) and I have barely any secrets having shared the trials and tribulations of infertility with each other. Maybe it's the ickiness in the detail of boy parts going wrong that surprised me. I mean aren't men supposed to be circumspect about sharing intimate details ?

Maybe it's me. I find myself listening to my hairdresser's problems and asking them if they're going on holiday. When I'm with the doctor or dentist they end up telling me about their stress. I've been known to have long intense discussions with people known for not talking and I recently counselled my own manager about work life balance. I clearly have a look that says, "Welcome, tell me what ails thee." 

What I'm not trying to do is put my friends off from talking to me about important things. After all I've had a baby, so to be honest I've seen my fair share of icky too. Instead, I've created this handy guide to help manage future conversations that could go out of control. To make things simpler I've suggested some acceptable answers to common questions:

1.
Me: How are you ?
You: Fine thanks, you ?

2.
Me: Oh that's a shame.
You: It is, mustn't grumble

3.
Me: Did you have a nice holiday / weekend ?
You: Yes thank you.

4.
Me: Are you better now ?
You: Marvellous, thanks for asking.

I'm glad we had this little chat :)

You wait for ages then 17 come along all at once :)

Marking down the first bus we saw

My Hubbie loves buses, my boy loves buses - I'm pretty keen on them too. So when my sister sent me a link to an event taking place in London involving our collective interest we all took notice. It was a collection of sculptures commissioned to celebrate the Year of the Bus and they were placed around London and also Croydon - where we just happen to live !

My boy loved this one

Hubbie loves this bus

Last weekend we decided to follow the bus trail which was a route marked around Croydon where you could go and see all 17 of the bus sculptures that had been chosen for Croydon. Each of them had a different design and most reflected a feature of the local area. All of them were really great and creative.

This one took some finding ! 

Crocus bus - quite elegant

I've been meaning to go and see these for a while and with being away over Christmas we didn't get round to it so having a rare Sunday to ourselves we decided to do it over the weekend. It was just as well as it was the last day and we'd have missed them if we'd left it much longer !

Fancy shiny bus

There's a big cat face on this one ! 

We printed off the map of the route got on our scooters and whizzed around town making sure our boy ticked them off the map and we took photos with all of the buses. It was quite hard work as some where a bit harder to find than others and at the end it was a race against time to see the last one before it got dark and we risked getting locked in the park where it was located. I'm pleased to report we made it, took a family selfie and got on the tram home with a sense of a job well done :)

Library bus - one of our faves

The bus outside the radio studio

I'm so glad we got to have a family day out doing something active and fun with an element of a game to it too. My boy loved having the map to mark off what we'd seen and he even took a few photos on the way round. I see him being a great asset in my future blog posts with his fledgling photography skills.

For Croydon Aerodrome

Patchwork bus

I hope as the weather improves in the Spring and the days get longer we can do more outdoor challenges together and can't wait for the next family scooter adventure :)

The very last bus in the trail

This post is being shared with the lovely Fiona of Coombe Mill's linky #countrykids