How do I talk to my son about International Women's Day ?

This morning at breakfast I talked to my six year old son about International Women's Day. It told him that in some parts of the world girls don't get to go to school. He looked shocked. "I'm glad we live here and everyone can go to school." We also talked about how some women aren't allowed to vote or drive. I left it at that for now. I mean I want to raise considerate men who understand equality, but I don't want to traumatise my children by telling them the whole story just yet.

That women routinely earn less than men. Women earn less for the same work. Routinely. Oh and if you have children there is a motherhood penalty and a fatherhood bonus. I'm not making this up - academics have studied the phenomenon and it's absolutely true.

I still haven't worked out how to explain why women including Michelle Obama and the Williams sisters are described in openly racist terms or criticised as being too 'masculine' for not conforming to a petite blonde stereotype. Don't even get me started on how women in politics are treated in this country. It is inevitable that my boys will become familiar with the fact of life that women are threatened and abused online for speaking out. Stella Creasy and Jess Phillips have been very honest about the level of abuse that is directed at them on a daily basis.

In some countries women aren't allowed to drive or vote. Ok, so I mentioned this to him, but I didn't talk about the fact that women 'belong' to men and are treated as inferior. When he is older I hope he will be as outraged by this as I am. Mind you one of the best things about today has been the reminder that there exists this video about an all female flight crew who landed a plane in a country in which they would not be allowed to drive.

Then there are the social inequalities that I hope they don't have to find out about. A woman is more likely to receive a custodial sentence for a minor crime than a man. If a woman is sent to prison he children may be taken from her and placed into the care system.

That the domestic abuse storyline from the Archers is played out in real life every day and that 2 women are murdered a week at the hands of an abusive partner. It is not confined to soap operas and does not happen to a 'type' of person.

I'd also like them to understand that women can be great scientists, engineers, code breakers, athletes, writers and work in all manner of professions and have many skills. It's not about taking one day to think about the achievements of women. It's about challenging a media that celebrates the 'first British Wimbledon winner' in decades entirely overlooking Virginia Wade's title win. Not least as that man was coached by a woman and this in itself was considered controversial at the time.

What I hope is that as my boys get older they will see real change and experience a positive picture. I was raised in a female oriented household and they are surrounded by feisty women. I hope this gives them a positive view of strong women and high expectations of what women can do.

It's a lot for a six year old to think about, but for now I think knowing that going to school is a privilege is a good start.

Inspiring women: International Women's Day #lastingchange

On my radio show this morning I shared some virtual postcards from Annie Spratt containing stories about the work funded by Comic Relief in Tanzania to support women running their own small businesses. Annie was in Tanzania with Tanya Barrow and Penny Alexander to visit women who are supporting their own families and bringing a helping hand to others who they employ and supply goods and services to. This is part of my involvement with Team Honk and the wonderful fellow bloggers who are currently carrying a baton from Lands End to John O'Groats to raise money for Sport Relief.

I thought I'd share my #lastingchange virtual postcard with you below: 

Dyeing fabric safely

• Eliafura makes the most beautiful batiks and tie dyed material.  With the support of the Gatsby Trust Eliafura has registered her business and learned important health and safety rules around the chemicals she uses.   Eliafura now also trains other women in the village who bring material to her and she shows them how to create these beautiful patterns.   They sell easily to not only local schools where teachers like to buy them but also overseas. We bought her entire stock because we loved them all so much and are now working out how to sell them on so we can complete the circle of donation, funding, training, selling, donating. 

You can be sure I'll be buying some of those fabrics and giving them pride of place in my home :)

In my career I've worked with various overseas charities and I've seen how amazing and life changing it can be to give someone an opportunity to support themselves. Women like Bertha or Eliafura who have the drive to work for themselves and to succeed in business with the additional benefit of employing others. It is the principle on which the Grameen Bank was based. This is the microcredit scheme that gave small loans to women in Bangladesh who then went on to feed not only their own families, but to employ others who were then able to feed theirs and so on. 

When it was started the basis of lending to women was explained by Grameen founder Mohammed Yunus as being about giving the power to those who were marginalised either by virtue of poverty, gender or lack of education. The Nobel Laureate also reported that not only did the loans have an exponentially higher rate of early repayment than bank loans (which were not available to most of the women), but on a cultural level there was also a higher chance that the money would benefit the community. Where men were borrowing money and using it for themselves woman were using a smaller amount of money to bake bread to sell then reinvest in more ingredients to bake more bread which eventually became a bakery business employing other women. This is a simplistic explanation, but it worked. 

One of the stories I told on my show today was a revelation to me. It began in 2010 led by women from the neighbouring countries Rwanda and the Democratic Republic of Congo, which have been torn apart by the worst atrocities of war that the world has seen in recent years. Women from opposing sides of war in these communities came together on a bridge adjoining the two countries in a plea for peace and to show that they could build bridges of hope for the future. Their action sparked a massive global movement to stand in solidarity with women around the world touched by war. It is a beautiful and touching idea. 

It reminded me of an organisation of women that I worked with in Rwanda that began when one widow of the genocide sat under a tree. The next day another woman joined her and the next day another until eventually many women came together to sit under the tree and share their tears, fears, hopes and dreams of how to go on when they had seen so much bloodshed and pain. Community organisations are an amazing force for good and for women who have been disempowered, brutalised and left to fend for themselves they can provide a lifeline.

I've concentrated on women overseas, but I am - of course - aware that women in the UK also benefit from the work of charity and support each other and achieve amazing things. I'll share with you a quiz by one of my favourite feminists that might help put International Women's Day into context. 

Bridget Christie's Quiz