Not so much new romantic as old spice

Today I was thinking about that early bit of courtship where you do things your partner loves. You know the whole, "Oh we have so much in common, isn't that wonderful. We are so made for each other." That period of time when me and Hubbie were getting to know each other.

I watched non league football - I even travelled to watch games. Not many, but enough to show that I care about what he cares about. In return he went ice skating with me - he's not a fan. He went to a Green Day concert with me - again not his thing at all, but he made a good attempt at looking like he didn't completely hate it.

You see we don't do soppy. He calls me cloth ears when I don't hear him. I complain that he mumbles. He rolls his eyes at the ceiling, I mutter about the half done DIY. We joke that the only time we talk to each other is when we present a radio show together. We live with each other's quirks. He with my aversion to custard and I with his pathological hatred of cauliflower, eggs and picking up his own socks. A habit he has passed onto both our sons - much to my chagrin.

In reality though, we are a team. We have been since we met 12 years ago. Back then we kind of knew we wanted to be together. So got married ten years ago - in a simple ceremony with friends and a few family members present. Then we got on with our lives.

We adopted a cat together - well Neo chose us actually. That's how it works with cats isn't it ? They decide who they will live with and he deigned to assign this role to us.

Neo undertaking a rigorous interview

When it became clear that having a baby wasn't going to be straightforward he went along with all of my crazy schemes from shamanic drumming (no we didn't do this, but he said he'd do it) to hypnosis. He went along with my plan to adopt despite having never considered it before we met so we had a year of being asked about everything and having absolutely no privacy. It was horrible.

Then we had a baby and it was amazing and tiring. After night feeds he would sit downstairs watching baseball with the baby on his knees rocking him to sleep. Every night that we have been parents - with very few exceptions - he's been home for their bedtime. He is every bit the wonderful father I knew he'd be.

When we became three

Then we had the whole adoption process all over again to become parents to our second beautiful boy. * So, now Hubbie has a 'mini-me' and I'm outnumbered by male hormones and smelly socks !! He takes two boys to football with him and I decipher baskets of laundry filled with various sized jeans, t-shirts and pants. The older of our two boys raids Daddy's toiletries for hair gel and the younger copies what his older brother does. He doesn't have enough hair to style yet, but he does like to brush it. 

Is that how you brush your hair baby ? 

This weekend we're away together on a short break for the first time since December 2009. We are spending time without our boys and while I miss them - of course I do - it's reminded me that we have so much fun together and make each other laugh.

Happy Anniversary to us.

Oh and we went ice skating today - because I love it. I think the socks are a small price to pay.

*I've written posts about adoption all this week so you can read those for more about this.

Seven Years Hitched

Dear Hubbie,

Yes I know it's a really bad play on words, but it wouldn't have made sense if I'd titled this post Some Like it Hot would it now ? (well maybe to some people, but you know I'm not about being cliquey). So today is our wedding anniversary - yes I know you've already fallen over in shock as I always mix up the date of our wedding with the date we went on honeymoon. It's an easy mistake though isn't it ?

Anyway, I digress. Seven years ago we were married in a civil ceremony at Chelsea Town Hall followed by a party with family and friends above a pub in Battersea. I know you know this, but I'm narrating for other readers so bear with me please. I wore a gold silk sari and you wore a very snazzy suit (as modelled by Bryan Ferry). We took photos on Battersea Bridge and I let the bath overrun in the lovely hotel in Paddington that we stayed in afterwards as we were too busy opening wedding cards from our lovely guests.

Since that day in 2006 a lot has changed, where we live, what we do, who we live with and much more besides. Here are seven of the highlights (one for each year - naturally):

1. When we bought our first house we spent months working on it and learned that when DIYing we have to be doing separate projects in order to preserve our sanity. I'm not joking when I tell people that we nearly got divorced putting down the kitchen flooring. It was worth it for the laughs over cheap pizza and Weatherspoons breakfasts though.

2. Going to Battersea Cats & Dogs home to choose Neo as our newest family member was brilliant. You made up your mind as soon as you opened the door to the cattery and he wandered up to you to say "hello." He was one of us from that day forth and it's thanks to you that he is.

3. When we were told that it was unlikely we'd have children we sat in the corridor of the hospital for what seemed hours crying and holding each other. It felt like the worst pain in the world and could have broken us. It didn't, it made us stronger. We're still here.

4. On your first visit to India my late Naniji was delighted at your shared love of cricket and I was amazed at how the two of you would sit watching TV together, communicating despite your lack of Punjabi and her limited English. She adored your love of trains too and when asked by my Mum she said, 'Of course he's one of us - he's Indian.' High praise indeed ! 

5. I'm glad that when we're on holiday we've always enjoyed spending all our time together - mostly thanks to your laid back approach if I'm honest. It was you who taught me that Rome will still be there even if we don't visit the Coliseum in the morning. Another hour in bed is fine, we are on holiday after all.

6. When our son was being born, things were going wrong and you were incredible. You had family calling you to ask what was going on and you had doctors telling you that you might lose your wife and son. That was a lot of stress all at once on the back of no sleep for more than a day. I had no idea, because to me you were a picture of calm and joy when our boy was delivered safe and perfect. 

7. Our son has your cheeky sense of humour and I love how he enjoys making people smile - just like Daddy. Eventually he will, no doubt, develop sarcasm too. He's hilarious and clever and looks like you. We did that :o) 

So that's my top seven. It hasn't always been easy, but it has been totally worth it. Being married is more than 'just a piece of paper' to us. We work at our relationship and sometimes we work harder than seems fair. Other times we laugh until I can't breathe and I have tears rolling down my face and you think that's even funnier than the thing that made me laugh in the first place. 

Happy Anniversary - I love you :o) 

Listen to His & Hers: The Seven Year (H)itch - our new show featuring songs we've chosen to celebrate our anniversary on Fri 25th Oct 9pm-10pm at www.croydonradio.com or as a podcast from Sat 26th Oct.