I live in my car now - well it feels that way

Having both boys at home during school holidays requires a lot of organising. Over Easter there was the strategic grandparent delivery service with both of them staying with my parents on the first night we me and Hubbie could go out to a show. The next day we picked up Blue Bear to take him to the in-laws. Despite our best laid plans we spent more than three hours on the M25 both days and I was thoroughly exhausted. I had intended to blog and social media the crap out of Easter, but in the end I went for rest, relaxation and some time without the children. With Blue safely installed with Grandma and Grumps we high-tailed it out of there with screeching tyres and smoke in our wake.  

Hubbie and I used to present a radio show together years ago so I suggested we might revisit the format. The technical side has moved on and we sat opposite each other instead of side by side, but it was great to spend time sharing music we love and chatting over the airwaves just like the old days. I hope we can do more shows in the future. Talking of which I'll be live on air tomorrow morning which is always fun and games - not least as I lose track of what I was saying or fail to play a song that I had cued up. Anything could happen after the week I've had. Since the start of the week I've lost a journal I write in every day, the key to an essential cupboard and my debit card. I'm not sure I'm safe to drive at the moment I'm so discombobulated ! 

All this week Brown Bear has been at Supercamps which is perfect for an active child like him. Blue Bear had been booked into a half day camp suitable for his age, but it was cancelled at short notice. I've had to find new and exciting ways to spend time with him - which put paid to my plans to get things done while the boys were out of the house. Earlier in the week we went to the cinema and this morning I took him to watch Swan Lake. It is a production by the English National Ballet specifically for a younger audience under the banner of 'my first ballet.' There is a narrator to help children follow the simplified story which runs for an hour and a half including an interval. We were surrounded by small girls universally dressed in tulle skirts and wearing headbands. Bringing his own sense of perspective to the event Blue asked me on the way there if there are any dinosaurs in Swan Lake. He wasn't too put out when I had to tell him there weren't - not least as he had a dino shaped gingerbread biscuit during the interval. In fact he seemed to have a pretty good understanding and concentrated beautifully. He was put out that I refused to buy him a jewelled magic wand from the concession stand, but I reminded him he has more than one wand at home - and a matching tiara. 

I would recommend 'My First Ballet: Swan Lake, which will be on tour shortly. If you are quick you can still catch it at the Peacock Theatre in London, but tickets are very limited. 

One more week of holidays to go - here's to my not losing things or falling over my own feet. 

Ctrl, Alt, Delete to reboot this week

I'm been a bit worse for wear this weekend. My cough has just got so much worse and I'm tired and achey. On Saturday I thought I was just hungover, which is such a rarity these days, as I just don't drink much at all. On Friday afternoon I took the boys for an afternoon play date at the home of one of Brown Bear's school friends. Her mum fired up the barbeque and had the paddling pool out and all of us mums sat in the garden chatting and enjoying lovely food and drink while our kids played and had fun. I had the best afternoon I've had for a long while. Hence more to drink that I am used to.

These mums knew me before Blue Bear came along and are kind enough to say they can see how far we've come. Their children are the same age as Brown Bear so if he's being annoying they help give me a sense of perspective as they also deal with similar behaviours from their own. Instead of worrying and being on edge I decided to enjoy some wine and to kick back. I called Hubbie to come and pick us up so I didn't have to drive and I'm so glad I did. I needed to give myself a break. I needed to just be nice to myself for a change.

I've heard it so many times and I've never really believed it. It is clearly true though - I am too hard on myself. I set myself unrealistic standards and if I fall short I punish myself forever. I spend far too much time telling myself that I fall short as a parent and as a result of this self-flagellation I'm not as good as I could be. The self-fulfilling prophecy nature of parenting is brought into even sharper focus during the school holidays when we're all trying to keep the kids busy and ourselves from going spare at the same time. I find myself shopping almost every day to keep on top of packed lunches for playscheme and food to stop the boys from yelling at me when they are tired and hungry. I can't leave the house without a kit bag of snacks, drinks and - as I discovered on Friday when I forgot it - my band card in case of unexpected spends.

The reality I have to face is that I only need to aim for average. This isn't an instagram family with perfect shots of us all laughing and smiling and playing in fun and exciting places. So long as my boys are fed, watered and safe I have fulfilled the basics. Anything above and beyond is a bonus, but not necessary. I'm not about to win any awards for this. I'm too short-tempered and my kids are too sarcastic for that to happen.

If I find myself getting all het up I'm going to remember that I'm with them every day and no one can sustain joy and happiness all the time. Instead of setting myself unrealistic goals I'm going to be kind to myself and them.

My aims for this week are simple - to smile at my kids, to hug my kids, to tell them I love them. If I manage to do that I'll consider that a win.

By air, by sea and by magic - a family day out on the South Bank.

With Christmas coming up we have yet another school holiday to fill. Once the presents are opened and the turkey sandwiches are all done we still have over a week to occupy the children and I have a few ideas that you might consider. 

A few weeks ago we decided to have a special family day out for Hubbie's birthday and we chose to spend it on the South Bank in London. My favourite London spot is the London Eye and since I found out you can get married on board I have been trying to convince Hubbie to renew our wedding vows so we can hire a pod for a celebration event. 

The boys have never been on the London Eye before so we had no idea how they would take to it. We  had fast track tickets which meant we didn't have to queue in the rain and it was relatively quick to board. We folded our buggy to take with us on the pod and it wasn't too busy so the boys got to see plenty out of the windows. There are touch screens you can use to help identify the landmarks outside  and during the flight you can have a photo taken to buy at the end. 

I've been on the London Eye many times - including on my 30th birthday as a treat with friends - and have always really loved it. When me and Hubbie were still dating we took a flight and a boat ride on the Thames included in the ticket. It's a great date idea and some offers also include a meal with the boat trip. At this time of year there is also an ice skating rink located next to the London Eye which you can add to your visit. 

It's great to share that experience with my children and to see the delight on their faces when they spot things they like. In Big Boy's case it was Big Ben and in Baby Boy's case it was the ducks on the Thames - I think they were ducks, he made a quacking sound anyway. After the flight we went to the 4D experience which is also included in the ticket price. It's a nice touch and is suitable for all ages. 

After a stop for lunch we went to the London Sealife Aquarium which I've heard great things about, but never actually visited. As it was a rainy day we expected it to be very busy inside, but the site is really spacious and even with the buggy we were able to get around pretty easily. The boys loved spotting seahorses and starfish, but didn't want to touch them. 

The really large tank was were Big Boy spent the longest time and we sat and talked about sharks and where they live in the wild. I explained that before I was Mummy I went scuba diving and saw them in the sea. He was fascinated by all of the large mammals and Baby Boy squealed when he saw the turtles climbing out of the tank. I was delighted that they were so interested as I love marine life and hope to take them diving when they are older. 

The newest tourist attraction on the South Bank is Shrek's Adventure featuring characters from the movies. Donkey is there to greet you as you arrive and you have an allocated time for your visit so it's wise to arrive a little early in preparation. There is a 4D bus ride early on in the adventure and Big Boy found this a little scary, so he's probably a little young for it. The characters who you meet as you go around really like to involve visitors - especially children - in the adventure and it's nicely done. 

Our mini tour ended at the Poison Apple pub with a special guest appearance - I won't spoil it by telling you who it was. The recommended age for children to visit this attraction is 6 years onwards and I think that is pretty accurate. My boy recognised the characters from Dreamworks such as Kung Fu Panda and the Penguins of Madagascar and loves Puss in Boots. During the Christmas holidays there are specific festive events taking place that you can pre-book. 

You can book tickets for all of these attractions online and there are discounts if you visit more than one of them. Find out more about an attraction pass here. Alternatively you can use a Merlin Pass. 

Disclosure: We were given complimentary tickets for the London Eye, the Aquarium and were invited to visit Shrek's Adventure. All opinions are my own. 

He can't say Mum, but he can call the cat - pah !

I was dreading the week just gone as it was the only week of the school holidays that I didn't have Big Boy booked into play schemes. He did a swimming crash course every day, but that was only half an hour a day and I had whole days to fill and two boys to keep occupied. I sent an email to the other mums from Big Boy's class and made plans to do things to keep us all from going bonkers with our kids at home. The response was heartening as they all seemed to be in the same boat as me and jumped at the chance to get out and do stuff with us.

In the end we did something every day and I spent more time with the mums than I have since he started at school and it was great. We spent drizzly mornings in the park, a spectacular sunny afternoon at the fire station (more of which in my country kids post later this week) and I had conversations with adults every day. It was brilliant ! As a result I learned some stuff I didn't know before which I thought I'd share.

Samuel's mum told me on Monday that she spends one hour every evening gardening. I thought this was such a genius idea I immediately decided to do the same, so this week I've spent up to an hour in the garden most evenings which means I've already spent more time in one week than in all of the previous months this year. It also means I can do manageable chunks without getting the chronic backache that is inevitable from the 'binge gardening' I usually practice. It has been nothing short of a revelation !

You probably already know I love Waitrose and this week gave me a concrete example of why. I took Big Boy to Asda with me - it was close to where we were at the time, it wasn't my first choice - and as I parked in a parent and child space the women in the car next to me threw a McDonalds bag at the back of my car. I looked at the bag with the remains of a milkshake and various containers in it and looked at them and for a moment considered throwing it back, but decided it wasn't worth the fight that would ensue if I did. The next day I needed to cleanse myself of the experience and while pushing Baby boy in the trolley at Waitrose a man politely pointed out to me that Big Boy had dropped the plastic lid from his disposable coffee cup on the floor. Now I have to explain he wasn't actually drinking a coffee, but he flutters his eyelashes at the ladies on the counter and they always let him have a cup to play with. I smiled and said thank you to the nice man who proceeded to apologise for his presumptuousness in trying to tell a parent how to parent. I told him it wasn't a problem and we went about our shopping trip with Baby Boy pointing at everything in the store and Big Boy going loopy in the aisles. I love that in Waitrose someone would be kind enough to worry about my boy dropping something on the floor and putting it in his mouth that they would tell me.

It was while we were driving to Asda that I heard one of my favourite of Big Boy's latest malapropisms. He is usually a pretty eloquent conversationalist, but he does say some funny words. There's the usual lellow for yellow of course, but when he asked, "why are we going to Asbo ?" I had to laugh. Others that I've spotted include, Teenage Newton Ninja Turtles and when he finished watching Cinderella he told me that it was the garden mother who sorted out her dress for the ball. In fairness to both boys I should also point out that Baby Boy is now saying a few intelligible sounds. His clearest word to date is Neo (of course, they always learn the cat's name first !) and he is also saying something like Hello and Bye Bye, both of which make him sound like a Minion. It's hilarious, but also really cute.

So I'm not saying it's rocket science, but what I've learned this week has given me a laugh and my garden looks a little bit nicer as a result. I call that a win.

Summer holidays: A story of claret and gold

So, the Summer holidays have begun and the long stretch of days to fill is before us. I've tried to find lots of fun things to do with my boy and even started a Facebook group to share ideas for free and cheap activities with other local families who might like to join in. It's a fine balance between staving off boredom and over filling the days and I'm already on the verge of a nervous breakdown as the reality bears little resemblance to what I had planned.

Last day hugs 

Here's how the first week panned out:

Plan 1: Go to the nursery leavers picnic and have a nice time then take him swimming with Hubbie and look forward to the holidays.

The Reality: He was so tired out by the 'graduation' (what is that about by the way - he's 3 !!) that he fell asleep in the car on the way to the pool and would not be roused. When he realised he was at home in bed all hell broke loose as he insisted he had wanted to swim after all. Then he had the mother of meltdowns during which he bemoaned, "I don't want to go to big school yet."

Plan 2: Summer Holiday Activities Morning - story time with Betty Balloon the story teller, Loom band workshop and face painting for everyone. In short, fun and games.

The Reality: The boy has his face painted as a pirate, refused to sit for story time and got bored after about ten bands (that's not even enough to make a ring !) I got stuck with an oversharing mum of 4 who I will now have to watch out for whenever I go into town !

Plan 3: Take the boy to the pub that shows kids movies in their screen room and then have a spot of lunch in their pub garden.

The Reality: He befriended the only other boy there and they screamed, ran around and rough- housed the whole time. My boy ended up with a massive nosebleed and 'claret everywhere' (including in my fit flops as I discovered when we got home !) He finally sat down to watch the end credits then asked if he could watch it again, *takes a deep breath.*

Plan 4: Take him to a sports and crafts day camp where he can run around for 3 hours - with a break for fruit - and I pick him up at lunchtime when he will have a nice nap with the lovely neighbour while I go for a swim. 

The Reality: Well when I left he was kicking the ball around and having fun. I got all my jobs done by 10am and am then sat in a workspace cafe with a cuppa and wifi. When I went to pick him up he'd had a lovely time and I was able to go for a swim while he spent some time with my lovely neighbour and her granddaughter. Phew ! 

Plan 5: A weekend of swimming, football and family fun. 

The Reality: My boy has gone from avoiding the big pool to swimming on his own (with armbands) in the space of 2 days ! To say I'm proud is an understatement - given the freedom and space I believe that boy can do anything :)


It would appear that it takes a few days for my son to really relax into his holidays - he is just like both his parents in that regard. As for the meltdown about going to school, well it's hardly surprising is it ? We've been talking about how he won't be going to nursery any more and it's not a bad thing, but it's ok to feel sad.

Hard earned gold star

This week we're going to take him school uniform shopping with both his grandmothers and I hope that will engage him with going to school in a positive way. He's already been writing his name and working on his Parragon Gold Stars book so I know he is more than ready academically, but emotionally he may have a way to go yet.

Last week was sad and tiring for all of us, so I hope that the ones that follow will be happier and more fun. We have theatre trips, a movie screening and a more sports camps to look forward to. I really hope he enjoys them.