Does this husband come with a 10 year warranty ?

Mr & Mrs

When I was a single woman I had a list of things that I was hoping to find in my potential partner. It was things like: good kisser, kind, has own teeth and hair, financially solvent. I also had a list of things to avoid: Obsessed with sports, unkind to animals and children, small-minded. Of course when I met Hubbie I was swept off my feet and fell in love so that fact that he's obsessed with sport was more than made up for by his teeth and hair. I can sense he's giving me a hard stare at this point, so I'll also say he has many other positive qualities, yadda yadda yadda.

Of course there are plenty of things that I didn't know would be important:

• Hubbie always takes the bins out - I can do it, but I don't have to because he does it. 

• He pretends not to watch 'rubbish' like the Great British Bake Off, but ask him who was in it this year and he will name every participant. And he knows all about 'bingate' !!

• Our shared capacity to take on anything that life throws at us, whether it's the drama of infertility or the trials and tribulations of adoption.  

• We don't argue. I do, but Hubbie doesn't so it means any row lasts as long as it takes for me to realise that I'm ranting and he's not participating. Nothing diffuses a situation faster. 

• We want the best for each other. Before I met him I wanted what was best for me, now I want to make Hubbie and our boy happy.   

What I've also realised over the years is that there are subtle things that you just don't consider when you're planning a life with someone. Things you take for granted until they come up in conversation:

A shared love of movies 

Me: Ooh, Shrek* is on. 

Hubbie: hmm

Me: You've watched Shrek haven't you ? 

Hubbie: Erm, no.

Me: (speechless)

*Shrek could also be replaced with: The Godfather, The Blues Brothers, This is Spinal Tap, The Life of Brian...

Interests in common

Me: Did you enjoy the ice skating ?

Hubbie: er, not not really.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry

Hubbie: I've never really enjoyed it

Me: No worries, you were only there because there weren't any penguins to stop the boy falling over :)

Similar tastes in food 

Me: My Mum made the best homemade chips ever.

Hubbie: I never had them
Me: What ? Your Mum never made them for you ?
Hubbie: No, we always had oven chips.
Me: That is actual child neglect. I have to talk to her about this.

A passion for politics 

Me: I just don't get why you watch Question Time
Hubbie: It's amusing isn't it ?
Me: Not really, hearing people shouting isn't that amusing is it ?
Hubbie: Oh, I don't know. At least they're all in one room.
Me: A very noisy room.

A shared vision of the future 

Me: When we've retired I'd like to travel the world
Hubbie: I'd like to travel to every station on the London Underground
Me: (sigh)

Just as well we don't argue isn't it ?

The day the Steel Band came to town, then left again...

I've been meaning to write about exception reporting for a while now. It came out of a lunch where I felt as though I was completely out of touch with reality and it made me think about why that was. Given some time to consider it I've concluded that it was the grand statements of 'fact' I was listening to that I found so unpalatable.

I blame the exception reporting we are subjected to disguised as 'news' or 'factual reporting.' If you were to believe the media reports you'd have a pretty low opinion of humanity. Using the grossest examples of indecency or violence or corruption to extrapolate that this is what we are as humans just doesn't make sense. It's lazy and it's inaccurate, but when people are scared and fed up and in debt it's what they are willing to believe to make sense of their own discontent. 

To counteract this idiotic approach here is my much-needed reality check:

• Not all benefits claimants are scroungers. Some are people who work zero hours contracts and don't earn enough to live on. That's a normal living, not a moat or duck house living. 

• Not everyone who works in a bank is overpaid or wealthy. The vast majority of bank staff do not earn six figure sums or earn massive bonuses. A few do.  

• Not all immigrants are criminals and ne'er do wells who are just 'over here' to steal jobs, money and housing. 

I wish I could challenge the notion that not everyone in UKIP is a racist or sexist, but I do struggle to find any proof to support that assertion. Here are a few reasons why: 

Yesterday my lovely friend Tim tweeted that UKIP were planning a 'mini carnival' in Croydon to address accusations that they are a racist party. I live in Croydon and Tim used to so I said I'd go along - even though I had some hardcore TV watching planned yesterday afternoon - to see what was going on. UKIP had invited along all the BME candidates standing for them in the local area - because they're not racists - and booked a steel band - still not racists ok? In the end it was a fiasco and I'm glad I chose to stay indoors as by all accounts it all got a bit ugly out there.

I have to take issue with how much attention Farage and his party get considering they have precisely no MPs. Yes, I'll say that again - they have not one MP. And yet Farage has been on Question time more than any actual politician and continues to be invited to the table despite having no real political mandate. Last month there was a lot of comment about whether or not UKIP would stand in the Newark by-election as if that was of any relevance at all. It was a complete waste of time. Instead of asking why the party is so welcoming to candidates who clearly have no internal monologue or external moderator the media is asking why they aren't going into 'real politics.' Then there was the James O'Brien interview on LBC. If you haven't seen it please take the time to watch it now - it's ok I'll wait...

I know. I know. Close your mouth and keep reading.

Farage is invited to participate in TV debates with other party leaders despite the fact that his party has precisely one idea. Now that is exception reporting taken to it's illogical extreme. UKIP are the exception in British politics. They are a party that has no MPs and yet they are invited to participate alongside parties with real policies (however insane or mundane) and are taken seriously when they openly state they have no interest on anything outside the one issue they stand for.

We have received a mountain of electioneering material in the post from all the parties and UKIP sent me a letter. It was actually addressed to me !! Did they not realise that with the middle name Kaur I would probably disagree with their hostile and openly racist policies ?  Oh hang on they don't actually have any policies do they ? Farage spends more time expelling the 'random elements' in his party than he does talking about what they believe in outside the one big idea.

This is why you have to go out and use your vote on May 22nd. Not just because so many people around the world (mostly women) are still denied the right to vote. It is precisely because so many people don't vote that the same old same old keeps happening. If you are someone who doesn't vote and says, 'It makes no difference, what's the point anyway ?' then you are part of the problem. You are the reason the same people keep making the laws and getting away with the self-serving decisions you disagree with. Sitting in your kitchen moaning to your friends that it's all such a waste of time really is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

We get the Government we deserve and even if you have no opinion about the local or european elections use this chance to flex your voting muscles. Get in some practice before the general election so that when it comes around you're ready for it. Even if you're not registered to vote for this one, pop down to the polling station and see how it all works. I took my son with me the last time I voted and there was not one other voter there - I like to think that my vote counted for even more.

So even if you vote for a party I don't agree with, it genuinely is more important that you just do it anyway. What matters is that you use your vote and that is is counted.

Now that really would be exceptional.

Get your vote on !