Does this husband come with a 10 year warranty ?

Mr & Mrs

When I was a single woman I had a list of things that I was hoping to find in my potential partner. It was things like: good kisser, kind, has own teeth and hair, financially solvent. I also had a list of things to avoid: Obsessed with sports, unkind to animals and children, small-minded. Of course when I met Hubbie I was swept off my feet and fell in love so that fact that he's obsessed with sport was more than made up for by his teeth and hair. I can sense he's giving me a hard stare at this point, so I'll also say he has many other positive qualities, yadda yadda yadda.

Of course there are plenty of things that I didn't know would be important:

• Hubbie always takes the bins out - I can do it, but I don't have to because he does it. 

• He pretends not to watch 'rubbish' like the Great British Bake Off, but ask him who was in it this year and he will name every participant. And he knows all about 'bingate' !!

• Our shared capacity to take on anything that life throws at us, whether it's the drama of infertility or the trials and tribulations of adoption.  

• We don't argue. I do, but Hubbie doesn't so it means any row lasts as long as it takes for me to realise that I'm ranting and he's not participating. Nothing diffuses a situation faster. 

• We want the best for each other. Before I met him I wanted what was best for me, now I want to make Hubbie and our boy happy.   

What I've also realised over the years is that there are subtle things that you just don't consider when you're planning a life with someone. Things you take for granted until they come up in conversation:

A shared love of movies 

Me: Ooh, Shrek* is on. 

Hubbie: hmm

Me: You've watched Shrek haven't you ? 

Hubbie: Erm, no.

Me: (speechless)

*Shrek could also be replaced with: The Godfather, The Blues Brothers, This is Spinal Tap, The Life of Brian...

Interests in common

Me: Did you enjoy the ice skating ?

Hubbie: er, not not really.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry

Hubbie: I've never really enjoyed it

Me: No worries, you were only there because there weren't any penguins to stop the boy falling over :)

Similar tastes in food 

Me: My Mum made the best homemade chips ever.

Hubbie: I never had them
Me: What ? Your Mum never made them for you ?
Hubbie: No, we always had oven chips.
Me: That is actual child neglect. I have to talk to her about this.

A passion for politics 

Me: I just don't get why you watch Question Time
Hubbie: It's amusing isn't it ?
Me: Not really, hearing people shouting isn't that amusing is it ?
Hubbie: Oh, I don't know. At least they're all in one room.
Me: A very noisy room.

A shared vision of the future 

Me: When we've retired I'd like to travel the world
Hubbie: I'd like to travel to every station on the London Underground
Me: (sigh)

Just as well we don't argue isn't it ?

For Hubbie, on Fathers' Day

It's Father's Day this weekend so we've had the usual bombardment of advertising persuading us to buy sarcastic cards and silly, but fun gifts for Dads. One article I read this week asked if we are disrespectful of fathers and their place in society. It is a stark contrast with Mother's Day if you consider the fluffiness factor of the cards, flowers, chocolates and the suggested gifts for Mums. We are encouraged to thank them and to spoil them on their special day. With Fathers we're enticed to make them laugh or send them to jump out of a plane.

To be honest I've never made a big deal about Father's Day for my own Dad. Whereas I'll take my Mum out for pampering or a nice lunch the most I'll do for my Dad is a card and maybe a pair of socks. Hubbie is about the same so while we take Mother-in-law out for lunch Father-in-law gets a card and a phone call to wish him a nice day on the golf course. It's not like our Dads even want the fuss so we're not exactly being nasty, it's just how it's always been really.

Hubbie protecting our boy from a snake

In my case I'm careful not to pick a card that thanks him for all he's done for me (not a great deal) or professing my love for him (that would just be embarrassing). You see our Dads were at their parenting peak when it was still considered the main role of a Father to be the breadwinner and the 'man of the house.' That was not a role that my Father was able or willing to occupy. He was there, I'll give him that, but he wasn't a willing or particularly pleasant Father to me or my brother. He's fine as a Grandfather and that is why he is still in my life.

The role of a Father is very different now and our expectations of what a Father can do are much higher. It is considered remiss if a man isn't there for the birth of his child or if he's not prepared to change or feed his child. In the same way that Mothers are always in the spotlight and being judged, so are Fathers. Yet the day that is supposed to be set aside to thank them is almost considered a joke. Mother's day is one of the busiest in the year for florists. There is no equivalent for Father's Day.

Daddy is almost as tall as the Gruffalo !

We do make a fuss of Hubbie on Father's Day. Maybe because it was such a big deal for us to become parents in the first place, but mostly because he's a great Dad. Just as they make big deal about me I like to do the same for him and it's a long way to his birthday so it's nice to have an excuse to spoil him for a change.

Hubbie works a long day and comes home in time to do bedtime every evening. The only time he isn't is if there is a gig or a midweek football match that he wants to go to, but that's pretty rare actually so when he does want to go it would be churlish to deny him the occasional night out.

Since the boy was a few weeks old they have had 'Daddy Day' every Saturday of the football season. They have a boys' day out and I have the day to myself. Whether I use it to clean the house or to meet up with friends it's been a blessing.

He never complains about the house, my appearance, the food I prepare or anything really. Not that he ever did before, but whoever said that giving a man a baby means you're off the hook forever was pretty much right. He comes home and me, the boy and the cat are all ok and that makes his day.

So today we're doing things that make Hubbie happy; going swimming, taking him for brunch, getting out the barbecue that he loves so much and generally spoiling him in between all of these activities.

He deserves it :)

My boys :)

Clockwatching with my boy

My boy loves clocks.

Clockwatching

Partly this is genetic - when Hubbie was a boy mother-in-law could leave him in the clock department of John Lewis and do her shopping unhindered. He was captivated by clocks (and still is) and when my boy was younger it became clear he is the same.

We have clocks (and radios) in every room in the house. My boy has an obsession with clock towers, church clocks, grandfather clocks, any kind of clock really. He calls the hands of a clock propellors instead of hands and has more watches than any 3 year old I know. 

Every time we take the train into London to go to a museum he sees the palace of Westminster from the window and he always points out the London Eye and Big Ben. Last week when I asked if he wanted to go and see Big Ben up close, he was beyond excited. 

We travelled by tram, overground, underground and bus - he also loves public transport - and dropped in on my Mum at her work and my friend SJ who is lucky enough to work right next to Big Ben. Despite all the hustle and bustle of tourists my boy was delighted to get a proper look at his favourite clock.

As you can see :)

Yes he really is this big :)

This post is sharing the joy with MummyNeverSleeps' linky #AlltheSmallThings :)