Adoption Week: Making memories

We've been away for a week and in the first three days the boys slept at my parents' house then at the in-laws' house then in our holiday cottage. Even tonight they were really unsettled and wouldn't go to sleep until quite late. Blue Bear asked me for a "really long hug Mummy." We're very strict about bedtime and when Blue first came to live with us we introduced him to our routine which is a bath, warm milk and bedtime stories. It took a while for him to get used to this way of doing things and now he even takes himself upstairs some evenings declaring, "I tired, I go to sleep."

There is so much he's adapted to and so many things he deals with brilliantly. When he has a blip it catches us off guard. Being in a place he hasn't been to before, seeing a lot of new people or travelling somewhere new. All of these cause anxiety and we see a side of him that we almost don't recognise. Recently when we've been going out he is insistent that he hold an adult's hand the whole time. He clings on tightly and becomes agitated about being safe. This is the child who scooters to school at top speed and waits for no one. He has his own friends and a social circle both inside and outside school.  I forget that there are things he's not ok with and this week has been a stark reminder that familiarity is really important to him.

He's never stayed at my parents' house before and he was really excited about it. I rang in the evening to see if he was ok and then in the morning. He came to the phone - reluctantly - and said, "Not again !" It was adorable and cheeky, but a relief that he was ok. He's slept at Grandma's house quite a few times so that was fine. It was being in a different cottage from last time that really caused ructions. We try not to overwhelm Blue with too many new things and this is the same place we stayed in July. We couldn't stay in the same cottage and this time the boys were in bunk beds - which was always going to be a bit of a drama. However, visiting places we've been to before was a revelation. When we were in Polperro Brown Bear said, "We had crinkles for a snack when we were here last time," as we reached the top of the harbour. As the tide was out we went to the beach this time and the boys remembered that we couldn't last time due to a high tide. At the Eden Project the boys noticed that a bicycle they had ridden before was in a different place. At Lappa Valley they noticed the new swan shaped pedaloes.

Noticing and recording memories is something we take very seriously. There is a chunk of Blue Bear's past we weren't part of so since he's been with us we've taken photos and kept momentoes of everything. I show him photos of when he first came to us and we talk about what he was like when he was a baby. Just like I do with Brown Bear. We remind him that he brought Dog Bear with him when he came to live with us. We keep in touch with his foster family as they are the vital link between birth family and us. They also love him very much and seeing how he is doing in his forever family and with his brother makes them so happy and proud. We haven't talked about adoption with Blue Bear yet, as he is still very young. However, he is a bright boy and it is not something we intend to keep from him. On holiday this week I noticed that he goads his brother now. He still worships Brown Bear, thinks he's wonderful and wants to be just like him. However, he's also braver and will jump on him knowing it's going to get a reaction. It has been lovely to see how much fun he is. On long road trips he would chat to us at the front by pointing out the sheep, or the windmills he could see out of the window. This afternoon when we passed a field of pigs the boys spent about ten minutes oinking and laughing. I tried to point out Stonehenge as we passed it, but the pig impressions were far more fun.

That's what makes being a family for me. Stupid jokes and animal noises. I hope that the boys will remember family time in their own ways and look back with joy.

It's National Adoption Week: There are over 2000 children waiting to be adopted in England. 61% of these children waiting to be adopted are in sibling groups so it's vital to find families for some of the brothers and sisters who desperately need them.

Adoption Week: How TV gets adoption so very wrong

Whenever adoption is depicted on TV and in films I find myself becoming annoyed. Often it's a sideline story littered with inaccuracies and often just downright made up. Further down the line - if it's even referred to - there are no repercussions and it's all but forgotten that adotion ever took place. I've become agitated seeing Stella take in a looked after child without any assessment whatsoever and not so much as a visit from a social worker. Apparently all it takes is a phone call to say that he can stay with a random adult he once knew and it's done. Hollyoaks always used to leave me bemused as vulnerable young adults would wind up living with a family they had no connection with other than living in the same made up soap land. We are so used to seeing american imported TV shows that I suspect there are people who have an entirely erroneous idea of how adoption works over here. If you believed shows like Friends or Modern Family you'd be forgiven for thinking that adoption is like a shopping expedition. Monica and Chandler were interviewed by an agency - who they lied to by the way - and were chosen by the birth mother despite their lies. The day the twins are born they go and pick them up and bring them straight home. No assessment, no home visit, no paperwork, nothing. When Cam and Mitchell adopt Lily she is brought home and again we don't see any follow up at all. At the very least this is poor safeguarding for the children involved. 

I'm going to be honest with you about the reality of adoption. There is a lot of bureaucracy. I mean loads. We had so many visits from social workers that we amended our shopping list so she could have toast during our morning assessments and biscuits on afternoon visits. I developed a system of biscuit management. The simple biscuits for the regular meetings (ginger nuts, rich teas, digestives).  chunkier cookies for the really nice social workers (Waitrose oat and fruit ones) and chocolate biscuits if they were coming to give us good news (Foxes ones in a pack with foil on). At one point I honestly thought we'd never see the end of this process. You know how contestants on the Apprentice talk about proving themselves worthy ? Well that's how we felt. And when the idiots in the jungle undertake disgusting bushtucker trials I can empathise with the bad taste in their mouth in order to achieve a greater good. And let's be truthful it is for the greater good. If you're too lily-livered for the assessment process you just won't cut the mustard as an adopter. 

Another area where the media depiction of adotion veers wildly from reality is post adoption. We rarely see children struggle with a new setting. The sleepless nights, the anxiety, the fears and unknown monsters from their past that you didn't know about. Within weeks of being placed with us we learned that our boy was afraid of the dark when he freaked out in the theatre as the lights went down. We found out he wouldn't sleep on his own and had to reach through his cot to check I was next to him - all night. I realised that he would not be held if he didn't want to be and would make it very clear that he wasn't going to co-operate if anyone tried to impose on his personal space. The relationship between him and our older son was also far more fraught than I had anticipated. They both felt displaced and wanted me all to themselves. It was a constant battle to provide reassurance to both boys and they fought bitterly and cried and screamed and generally made me feel like the worst mother in the world for not being able to keep them both happy. One would push the other one out of the way then the other would hit back. At the lowest point I would close the door to the kitchen as soon as Hubbie got home so that I could just cry and be away from the pulling in two directions. No TV show depicts adoption breakdown. Or the possibility of it happening. 

Today I watched my boys running around chasing each other and play fighting. I saw Blue Bear's adoration of his older brother and Brown Bear's faux annoyance at his younger brother. He secretly loves being a role model and takes it very seriously that he can influence someone so impressionable. Blue Bear has developed an excellent skill of 'managing up' and flatters his brother's ego knowing he will have far more fun that way. I see his skills are so different and his personality is adorable. He feels safe with us and is clearly marking his place in the family with his sense of humour and stubborness. The jealously still rears it's head, but not so much any more. Hubbie worked away overnight a few weeks ago and I whispered to Brown Bear that when his brother had gone to sleep he could sleep in my bed just this once. He was delighted - he got to be my baby for one night. The other night Blue Bear woke up scared he called for me - he usually calls for Daddy. They both know that I am here for them and that I love them equally. It's taken time and hard work and is still a work in progress. 

Adoption is not the easy choice. It's not even the only choice. What it is though, is about the right adopters being matched with children who are waiting for a chance to live in a family. In some cases for the first time in their lives. I didn't learn about adoption from watching TV. I learned by living it. I am still learning. 

It's National Adoption Week: As in previous years, the need to find families for some of our most vulnerable children remains at the heart of this year’s event. There is now clear evidence that decisions for adoption and placement orders are on the rise. With this in mind, National Adoption Week 2017 is focused on the need to find the right adopters for sibling groups.

Adoption Week: Brothers, Sisters, Family.

During the assessment process for adoption we were told that sibling groups are harder to place than single children. It makes sense really. If you have no children to start with taking on 3 or 4 of them, possibly all different ages and stages and with differing needs can be a daunting prospect. I know that when we saw the profile for a group of three children including twins under two and a toddler sibling it felt like an impossible ask. The oldest child already presented with special needs and the younger ones had yet to be assessed. I wasn't sure I could manage so many children at once and I worried that if all of them had additional needs it would be a struggle to give them all the support they needed. 

Not all sibling groups can be placed together. We also saw a profile for a group of 4 children who had 4 other siblings. The 8 children ranged in age from 2 to 10 years old. The two groups of 4 were being fostered close to each other and were being kept in contact with each other. It was anticipated that they would continue to see each other post adoption and that they would remain in contact in the long term. The foster carers were actually related so it worked well. 

In yet another case there were sisters who were being fostered together and who were to be placed for adoption together. One was a white child, the other was dual heritage. Considering how adamant the social workers seemed to be that we had to be an exact match to the ethnicity of the children we wanted to be matched with I was interested to see how they would choose to match these girls with a forever family.

Yet another pair of brothers were living together in foster care and were still seeing their birth mother. The boys had different fathers and the second one was a stark reminder of the difficult relationship that he was born into. The mother did not want anything to do with him and it made him a very anxious child. 

We had made the decision to adopt two children because we knew that multiple children wait longer and that it is more difficult to place children as they grow older. It was our decision to offer a home to siblings, but it was the decision of the social workers to not choose us. I understand now that it was for the best. Our road to being parents was different from what we expected. It wasn't what we had planned for, but it was just right for us anyway. 

I hope those children all found forever families to care for them. That being in a group did not put off potential parents. If it's possible to have a great outcome I really want for those children to have had that. I know that when I look at my birth son and adopted son I see my children. My family. These boys are my life, my soul, my very heart. I hope that the children who did not come to us are loved as fiercely as my children are. 

It's National Adoption Week and this year the theme is sibling groups. There are still over 2000 children waiting to be adopted. 61% of these children are in sibling groups which is why this year the emphasis on helping to find forever families for some of the brothers and sisters who desperately need them.

The day Blue Bear came to stay - forever.

This morning we're making a special breakfast and then we're going out to spend a nice day at Kenwood House as guests of English Heritage. It's a celebration day for us and we wanted to do something to mark it. You see it's been two years since Blue Bear joined the family and so much has changed in that time. He has grown taller, he can say so many words now, he's officially adopted and has been in pre-school for a year. He has  developed his own friendship group and he adores his big brother. All of these things seemed such a distant dream when he first came to us. At that point this little boy who barely spoke and had just learned to walk was finding his way in our family. Both he and Brown Bear demanded attention from me and were at loggerheads almost constantly during waking hours. It was exhausting.

Brown Bear made these

Our social worker gave me a bit of advice when we were making introdutions to Blue Bear - she told me to write down all the feelings and emotions at the time. "It's going to be so hard to remember everything and you will be glad you did." She was right. Now I read my thoughts from that time and realise how far we have come. Yesterday morning I heard Blue Bear climb into his brother's bed and Brown Bear read him a story. They play and argue and chase each other around. Blue Bear is in awe of his older brother and Brown Bear is so protective of his young protege.

We are now four

So today we will have a special family day during which - inevitably - the boys will bicker, we will all laugh and me and Hubbie will look at our beautiful boys and give thanks for the blessing we have been given in this wonderful family we thought we'd never have.

"Thursday 2nd April 2015:

The big day - we've been so excited about this day for so long. We came to get you and you were happy to see us. It was quite sad saying bye to your carers and Brown Bear drew a picture for them and we gave auntie (foster carer) flowers. There were tears, but me and auntie hugged and wished each other well. She wants the best for you just like we do. When we took  you to the Gurdwara (Sikh temple)  you were very well behaved and we said a prayer to welcome  you to the family and the man gave you a kara (symblic bangle) to wear -you really are one of us now.

When we came home you knew your way around really well and we all ate lunch together. Then you had a nap with Daddy while me and Brown Bear went to the shops. When we got back you enjoyed a snack together and you loved taking hot cross bun from Daddy's plate. You kept making us laugh, you're such a character ! While you and Daddy and Brown Bear had a play I went for a swim. It was nice to relax for a little while.

I got back and you had dinner and we got your bath ready. Both you and Brown Bear were very excited. It was such a splashy noisy bath !! Putting you both to bed was quite tricky. We were so delighted when at 8.17 you were both asleep. We didn't have time to pat ourselves on the back for long though, as on the dot of 9pm you woke up and were inconsolable. We're not sure if you missed your carers or if you just didn't know where you were, but it was quite upsetting seeing you like that. We both carried you around and eventually I drove you around for a while until you were calm. When we got home I was able to sit with you untl you fell asleep. We all went to bed around midnight then you woke up again before 4am. Again you were upset, but with milk, a change and the baby TV app you did settle down. It was sad that you were upset, but I know that with time and patience we will all settle down together and you'll be happy to sleep here in your own bed. Me and Daddy love you very much and want you to be happy with us. We know you can be."

And you know what, he really is.

Here are some thoughts from the one year anniversary.

Adoption Week: Talking to your child about adoption

When we knew that we were going to adopt a sibling for Brown Bear we had to find a way to talk to him about it. All his friends were having siblings, so he saw mummies with growing tummies then babies. We had to find a way to tell him that his sibling wasn't going to arrive like that. Telling him enough so that he was prepared, but not actually having anything to tell. We had no idea if it was going to be a boy or a girl, how old they would be, what s/he would look like or even what they would like to play with.

Talking about adoption before it happens is a like a glitter covered unicorn fantasy compared with talking about it afterwards. The anticipation of a baby brother or sister and the fun it will be is much simpler than the reality of a child who won't let his family love him. A boy who isn't a baby arriving in the house and taking your toys and shouting and competing for Mummy is no fun at all. I made a lot of mistakes. I didn't know how to make it ok for them both. I stopped being Mummy to Brown Bear while I protected Blue Bear. So Brown Bear acted out to get the attention he so desperately craved. Instead of thinking about his feelings I would ask him to be more considerate. What I should have been doing was talking to him about how he felt. Reassured him that he was still and would always be my baby. That this new boy who was angry and upset and pushy was just frightened and needed a lot of love and care to feel ok. As well as nurturing Blue Bear I should have been lovebombing Brown Bear, but it took a long time to realise this.

The conversations we've had can be random at times, but I don't ever shut down any line of questioning from Brown Bear. He has to have a safe space to talk about how he feels and I want that to be within the family. This is when the chat goes from shiny unicorns to making about as much sense as the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland :

'Froster carers'

When we first met Blue Bear it was at the foster carers' home so Brown Bear met the foster family. They were so kind and lovely to him. It was important that he saw where Blue Bear came to us from. That he knew who they were and that they are a part of Blue Bear's history. He also was able to talk to them about Blue Bear and ask what he liked to eat and play with. Brown Bear asked me a lot about why Blue Bear was in 'froster care.' He wasn't clear if they were his parents or not and it took a lot of chats in the car to make sense of this.

We keep in touch with the foster carers and they are very much part of Blue Bear's history. Brown Bear loves to tell them about his brother and what's been going on too. I have explained that they are not his mummy and daddy, but they cared for him and that they are very special and they helped prepare him to be in our family.

"Why didn't his mummy love him ?"

This is a very hard conversation to have. So far I have said," Blue Bear's family loved him very much. It wasn't easy for his mummy to take care of him though." We will never bad-mouth Blue Bear's birth family. Whatever they did or said he does not deserve a bad impression of them. I am not about to sugar-coat it either though. When Brown Bear asks about Blue Bear's family life before he came to us I tell him we don't know much about it and I keep it age appropriate. I say that he never had a brother before and that we love him so much that I'm sure his birth family would be glad to know that.

"When he was in your tummy."

This one is the most difficult. "He was in a different mummy's tummy. Like you were in mine. She loved him very much, as much as I love you I'm sure." We haven't talked about how hard it was for her to say goodbye to him. Not yet. When we look at baby photos of Brown Bear we do talk about how sad it is that we don't have baby photos of Blue Bear. Our family memories begin from when he came to live with us.

You might be wondering why all the conversations have been with Brown Bear. Well, so far Blue Bear has not had much in the way of conversational skills. It's also important that Brown Bear has an honest picture of how our family came into being. He will be the one who talks to Blue Bear first about where he came from. It's up to us to make sure that Brown Bear is equipped with the truth so that Blue Bear isn't hearing half truths from somewhere else. It is also really useful practice for me so that when Blue Bear is older and asking me questions I have a way of talking to him about adoption that makes sense for him.

It isn't all serious though. There are times that raise a smile too. On the day we went to pick up Blue Bear to come and live with us - at last - Brown Bear was in the car and said,
"Mummy, Daddy, can I have a sister please ?
"erm... well it's a bit late now, we're going to get your brother just now,"
"No, I mean after this one."

We both looked at each other and laughed.

Tomorrow: What is a 'real' family anyway. 

It's Adoption Week so I'm writing about adoption every day this week.

I'll be answering questions about adoption that you may have. Feel free to comment on here or ask me on Twitter with the hashtag #askaboutadoption.

So go ahead and ask those burning questions. If I can't answer I know enough professionals who I can direct your questions to.

To find out more about adoption week take a look here: http://www.first4adoption.org.uk/nationaladoptionweek/

Adoption Week: Is it difficult to adopt ?

So there are many questions that I get asked about adoption. Some are intensely personal and therefore unwelcome, others are general. Pretty much all are introduced with, "I hope you don't mind me asking..." then it begins:

• Where did you adopt from ?
• Why did you adopt ?
• Did you meet his family ?
• Why was he adopted ?
• How long did it take ?
• Did you see him before you adopted him ?
• Is there anything wrong with him ?
• Will he see his family ?

Often all of these will be asked within a very short space of time. It feels like I've been fired at with a machine gun much like the protagonists in Some Like it Hot during the Valentine's Day massacre. I'm still smiling, but I can feel the pool of blood forming around my feet.

You see each of the questions is a minefield of issues including privacy, safeguarding and other fun stuff. Once you unpack them a decision has to be made about how far to take the questioner into the reality vs the polite response to a polite question.

I made this mistake early on. During a night out with mums from school we sat in the garden drinking between karaoke sessions. Blue Bear had been with us for only a short time a this point and I was being asked about him. I started out politely batting off the personal stuf. "It's his private business, I'm not comfortable sharing that." to losing it and suggesting if they really wanted to know the gory details maybe they should strap in for the ride. It wasn't going to be pretty. I was so fortunate that night as one of the mums had my back. She stood right by me, looked me in the eyes as she said, "you don't have to do this." I took a breath and decided that she was right.

I don't share anything about Blue Bear's family life. Part of that is because we don't know a lot about it. We are supposed to get his 'life story' to help talk to him about his adoption. We are still waiting.

So this is where it gets difficult. It's not the practicalities of the process - you expect that. It is the agencies being in and out of your life, having to report anything to a lot of professionals. I was in a car accident with Blue Bear in the car and my first panic stricken thought was "I hope he's ok, I must take him to the doctor for a check-up. I don't want them to think I'm not taking care of him."

It wasn't simple - even though we'd been assessed before - and this time the process included our birth son so we had another person to consider at every turn. Our social worker spent a lot of time with us and our son got to know him pretty well too. Once we had been approved not one professional came to see Brown Bear at all. He went from being an integral part of the process to being completely invisible. I was not impressed. My only concern was he should not be affected negatively by our decision to adopt. He was the son we already had and we were unwilling to compromise his quality of life for a possibility that might never happen. He was excited about being a brother and then he was just left alone.

Waiting. That was difficult. Not knowing. No one can tell you how long it will take. You just have to take each day as it comes and when we had no children this was almost impossible. No it isn't possible to get on with life and not think about it. It's all you can think about. At least this time we had Brown Bear and his welfare was the most important thing.

Then everything happening really fast. Going from nothing to, 'hey here's a child for you to consider' to him coming to live with us in less than 4 months. That was difficult. Wonderful, hard work, unexpected, terrifying and difficult.

The first year of having two boys was so difficult I still can't believe how much it took to keep it together every day. I still find myself reacting as I did when they were constantly fighting for my attention. Now they tease me by chanting,"my Mummy, no my Mummy" at each other. I look at how far they've come and how much they adore each other and breathe with relief.

Yes it was and is difficult. For so many reasons. Everyone's journey is different and I can't talk on behalf of anyone else. What I can do is tell you about our journey.

Tomorrow: How do you talk to your child about adoption ?

It's Adoption Week so I'm writing about adoption every day this week.

I'll be answering questions about adoption that you may have. Feel free to comment on here or ask me on Twitter with the hashtag #askaboutadoption.

So go ahead and ask those burning questions. If I can't answer I know enough professionals who I can direct your questions to.

To find out more about adoption week take a look here: http://www.first4adoption.org.uk/nationaladoptionweek/

How my boy learned to love his brother

In recent weeks I've seen some adorable photos on facebook of older siblings lovingly holding their new baby sister or brother. These 'meet the newborn' poses are often heartmelting. It was while I had my head tilted to the side admiring one such photo that I had a revelatory thought. My boys never had that.

The loving, unconditional love of a new baby in the family, the big brother holding his baby brother gently and kissing his head. Those magical moments when the older child gets to meet and love his sibling and still know he's just as loved as he always was. It just didn't happen that way for us.

We had a run up to the boys meeting, but it was nothing like as long as 9 months and it wasn't as cosy as showing a scan pic and choosing baby things. We showed Brown Bear a photo of a 9 month old a while back and then after we'd met him we showed him up to date photos before they met. We had no idea what he would bring with him so we didn't know if we should buy toys, clothes or bedding.

It wasn't a case of bringing home a baby and starting from day one. By the time Blue Bear came to us he was walking, he was eating solid food and he had formed family relationships with his foster carers. My boys met at the foster carers' home. They were lovely and kind, but it was strange to meet our son then go home without him. Brown Bear couldn't make sense of it either, but we tried to explain that he would come and live with us soon.

Most siblings don't meet this way. With the exception of step children most siblings share a home from an early age and their introductions are more organic than this was. We had spent so much time preparing Brown Bear for his baby brother, but what he met wasn't a baby at all. Blue Bear was a walking, grabbing, opinionated toddler and he had no reason to want to live with us.

Of course he had seen photos of us and the foster carers had tried to prepare him for our introductions by talking about us to him. When we met he went over and pointed at photos of us in the photobook to show he recognised and knew us from there. We had tried to do the same with Brown Bear showing him photos of his new brother and he was excited and nervous to meet him.

Brown bear was ready to love his brother, but Blue Bear didn't want to be loved by him.

He didn't want to be loved by any of us. He was happy where he was and when we dropped him home after his first all day visit it felt like leaving a part of myself behind as we handed him over the doorstep to his foster family. He was always pleased to see us, but he was also delighted to be 'home' again.

It has taken a long time for all of us to become a family. Longer than I think I realised it would take. 

For the boys it's been a struggle for place in the family - they were both only children and suddenly they had to share everything including parental love. There have been arguments and fights and tears as they have both asserted their authority and tried to show each other who is in charge. It has only been in the last few months that Blue Bear has conceded that he loves and admires Brown Bear. In the same way Brown Bear is fiercely loyal to his baby brother and has found that having a small noisy shadow can have its advantages.

Brown Bear is an early riser, up before the sun - always has been. Blue Bear is going to be a 3 coffees before you talk to me kind of man. For a while in the summer holidays Brown Bear would go in to wake up his brother to play with him at 6am. Blue Bear would go along with it as he wanted to be with his brother so badly and then he'd collapse in a tearful, exhausted heap by 10am. Neo trained Brown Bear to bring him biscuits and has now trained Blue Bear to open the front door to let him out for a wee in the mornings. He's like the Gallagher brother that no one sees. 

For the first year of their life as brothers we didn't have any of those unconditional love photos. What we are starting to have now are genuine brotherly love photos instead. Ones with a smile or a shared joke and arms round each other for a few seconds before one of them annoys the other one and they are bickering again.

I don't have those endearing photos of their first meeting. What I do have is the knowledge that these boys have grown to love each other not just 'because.'  The love they have is borne of honesty and bravery - from both of them.

I couldn't be more proud.

Thank Honk it's Friday !!

I've never bought into this idea that Friday night is for going out and getting hammered. When I was a single lady (oh oh oh, oh oh oh... thanks Beyonce) I used to spend Friday evening in the gym as it was quiet and I could watch telly while on the treadmill and not have to deal with sweaty people working at a maddening pace to achieve the body beautiful. If that sounds a bit sad to you please be assured that I did really enjoy it and preferred to not wake up with a massive hangover on a Saturday morning.

Of course now I'm a parent my Friday evenings are spent at home bathing the boy and getting us ready for a weekend of toddler activities. Often I'm preparing for my radio show - Are We Nearly There Yet ? - that is live on Saturday morning or talking to listeners during His & Hers - the radio show that me and Hubbie do together that goes out every other Friday evening. This is what we consider to be a Friday night in our house.

The new thing that we do on a Friday night is swimming. Since we joined the pool just down the road I've been swimming 4-5 times a week and often me and Hubbie take it in turns to have a swim when he's back from work. I used to go swimming with my siblings on a Friday evening when we were kids so the exercise on a Friday night thing is pretty traditional in my family. Tonight, however I was paddling up and down the pool in serenity and bliss ie. no one else was in there so I could pretend it was my private pool. I often do this and in my head I'm singing Julia Fordham 'Happy Ever After.' I recall she gave an interview where she said she swam every day and it helped her stay happy. It makes me happy too.

As I swam tonight though I was very aware of how much my body ached and hurt from walking all day on Wednesday for the Team Honk Baton Relay. It was a wet, windy, cold day and at one point when I stopped to get a cuppa at St Pancras with the lovely Gretta from Mumsdotravel I saw flashing lights in front of my eyes - this is not a good sign is it ? By the time I arrived in Fleet to handover the baton to Mummy Barrow I was very tired and hungry and my phone was down to 2% battery. I sent Hubbie a text saying what time I'd expect to get home and settled back in the quiet carriage with the half filled pizza box for the long journey back home. As I arrived at my station I saw my bus leaving so I took the tram instead and in a last flourish of energy scootered back home.


So you can imagine how chuffed I was to catch up with social media - once I'd charge up my phone -  to find out that while we were making our way around the Monopoly board in real life the hashtag #honkopoly was trending !! A few of us were taking photos and posting them as we went round and there was an army of social media helpers making sure that the attention was firmly on our efforts.



And if that wasn't brilliant enough we've also found out that not only are Team Honk top of the team fundraisers for Sport Relief, but our London team are top of the Freestyle Fundraiser category too !!

Totally worth it to ache all over, have bruises on my ankles and getting a bit wet and cold.

Now that's my happy ever after :)

Thanks again to micro-scooters for kindly providing scooters to so many member of Team Honk.