A feminist, an adopter, a radio presenter, an equality advisor and mum to boys.
I swim, play music, write stuff and have ambitions to declutter my home.
Waking up to a sunny sky is one of my favourite things. Being able to go for a walk or a run in that sunshine is just the perfect start to my day. In the morning I went for a walk / run as the sun was coming up over the horizon and the sea was gorgeous. I stopped at the end of this stone walkway to sit and listen to the waves against the rocks. The peace and joy it brought me was suprassed only by the sight of St Michael's Mount in the distance.
Incredible eats from my lovely friend Sara
Cornwall is my happy place. It's where I take the children on holiday and where I go to relax. Yes it's a long drive, but it doesn't faze me at all. However, being in the car for hours and not eating properly is something that I do find challenging. My lovely friend Sara not only had the boys for a sleepover the other night, but she also made this amazing food for me to enjoy when I got here. I've mentioned before that I don't always take the best care of myself when it comes to eating so this has been an incredible gift on my journey of self-care. Sara has her own food business which I have to say from personal experience is brilliant. She packed me off with delicious veggie curries, rice, a salad, yoghurt and chutney as well as a lovely personal note. I will definitely be ordering from her again. Maybe I will even share it next time.
Gorgeous Miss Florrie
This time I booked to stay in the centre of Penzance with a lovely host who has a cat called Florrie. Now I'm not saying that the cat was the main draw for me to choose to stay here, but, ok yeah she was. Since we lost Neo last year I have missed having the company of a cat in the house. As soon as I arrived on Friday night Florrie came over to be fussed and in the morning she came to see me for snuggles. Love her. Being around her had been calming and I feel so loved when a cat comes to say hello. She was baby-sitting me in the afternoon while I was relaxing post retreat and it was lovely.
Yoga and free writing
It's become an annual tradition that I go for a new year retreat with the fantastic founder of Story of Mum - Pippa. Mostly mums attend and we arrange child-care for the day so that we can practice yoga, do some free writing, create vision boards and eat amazing food. I know it seems a big thing to come all this way, but it means a lot to give this gift to myself. It's what gets me through the emotional and social anxiety that is Christmas and New Year knowing I have this to look forward to. Of course I stress about the boys right until I am actually here. This is where I find my happiness and joy and the impetus I need to get through whatever the year ahead will bring. This morning I was reminded how much I love yoga and that I have neglected my practice for the last few years. Yoga really does help me feel more centred and I remember how much my body can do when I am on the mat.
Breakfast of champions
Now, I'm not saying the vegan snickers bars are the reason I come all this way, but they are definitely a strong pull factor. I could probably go to a retreat in say Putney or even closer, but without the sea view and the hugs from Pippa it just wouldn't be the same. We started the day with tea and a delicious bar - it was such a special treat and brought so much joy. I cannot tell you how much it means to eat without guilt or to finish an entire cup of tea while it's still hot. Simple pleasures.
Beautiful, Bold Beginnings for 2020
The vision board exercise is always revealing. In it you choose images that 'call' you and then see if they have some meaning when you place the on the board. It's a calming activity sitting and cutting out images from magazines and then arranging them on the sheet, discarding any that don't resonate. Sometimes it's puzzling what catches your eye and doesn’t make sense until you look at the whole page. I thought I'd share the one have done for this year. The thing I noticed first is that there is a lot of space on the page. Usually there are lots of overlapping images and fewer words - cluttered with a lot going on. The overriding theme I noticed in this one is that it is all about me taking care of myself. Putting me first and believing that I am worth it. The white spaces tell me I am seeking that space for myself too. As for Rob Lowe, well if you don't ask you don't get do you ?
Morning sea swim
This morning I went into the sea with lovely Pippa. It was very, very cold so I didn't stay in for long, but I closed my eyes and stood with the waves crashing around me and felt the sun on my face. It was amazing. When we got out and dried off we sat on the warm rocks drinking coffee and chatting.
I have come back energised and filled with hope for the future.
Have you made a plan for this year ? Do you make resolutions ? Is it all about New Year New You ? If I'm entirely truthful I usually do. I decide to make a fresh start and make unrealistic plans to do things every day or or eat different things or stop eating things. Every January I give myself a 'reset' by stopping sugar, alcohol and bread. It isn't for long and I've been doing it for a few years now so I don't really notice it much any more. It's not a detox. That's what my liver is for thanks very much.
You already know that last year I was a hot mess. At the end of the year I lost my voice, my energy and on New Year's Eve my capacity to move as I put my back out. The upside to all this has been that not being able to move has forced me to stop. Every time I wanted to go and tidy or declutter or wash up or something urgent I would get up, feel dizzy and have to sit down again. In the end I gave in and decided it was best to just let my body and mind have what they were craving. Rest. For the first time in a long time I don't feel tired. I'm not exactly bouncing with energy yet, but that endless exhaustion has lifted - finally. I haven't been well enough to swim or run, but I also don't want to overdo it.
The thing is I'm taking my time because I don't want to fall into familiar bad habits. I'm already doing things differently. Instead of getting up and 'doing' from the minute I wake up I'm embracing the art of the weekend lie in. Ok sometimes I do have to get up to do my radio show, but if not I'm in no rush to get up. Yesterday I was out early because I went to see my gorgeous friend Yasmin for some pampering. After a relaxing facial and soothing massage I felt ready to take on the task of taking down the Christmas decorations.
This morning Hubbie went for a cycle ride (his new thing on a Sunday morning) so I made myself a cuppa and went back to bed. Brown Bear climbed in with me and Neo and we relaxed. It was blissful. I honestly don't know what I was doing on a Sunday morning before this (probably getting up and going for a run or something), but you know what this feels good to me right now.
Clutter stresses me out. I spend a ridiculous amount of time planning how to reorganise my home. Hubbie bought me the Marie Kondo book two years ago and it stressed me out even more. I now accept that as I have young children my home isn't going to be pristine or minimal. Yesterday while the boys were at football I sorted out the DVDs and CDs - are we the only people who still have those ? - and reorganised the living room. I am really pleased with how it looks. Hubbie laughed when I told him to sit down and appreciate the 'flow' of the decor. Brown Bear came in and immediately said, "it looks really good Mummy." Blue Bear asked, "What did you do ? It all looks different." Neo miaowed his disapproval at me, then settled down on the newly moved sofa and promptly fell asleep.
Yoga has always helped me to deal with stress both mentally and physically. With everything that happened last year I should have been doing more yoga. Instead I did less and finally I wasn't doing any at all. It's my promise to myself to get back to taking care of myself and others through yoga. I want to share the gift of yoga with other people, but if I'm not taking care of myself, how can I offer it to anyone else ? Self care has always eluded me. If I swim I go hard and swim until I'm shattered. If I run I go until I need to see a physio. Today I went for my first swim of the year. I didn't set a goal, I swam until felt I had done enough and then splashed around with Blue Bear. We played and he showed me how well he can swim now. It was just enough.
My lovely friend Pippa has been a great help in teaching me about taking care of myself and she has created these lovely 'Sea Soul Blessings' cards. Hubbie gave me some for Christmas and I have made a special place for them by my bed so I can draw a card whenever I feel the need. I am hoping to see her in a few weeks for a mini retreat as I find being in her presence does me so much good. Pippa is a big fan of sea swimming - her bravery and wisdom inspires me so much.
No resolutions then. Let's call them habits of kindness. A promise. To myself. To others.
