Well, thank goodness that's all over !

Firstly Happy New Year !! I hope you've had a super Christmas and that your New Year Celebrations were enjoyable. I've been a bit quiet for the last few days as I've been pondering some things that I've learned from this holiday season (to get all american about it). I have also started planning next Christmas and New Year. If you think this is a bit keen you have to understand that I am not really a long term planner, but I'm not leaving it too late for a good reason.

In the past we've alternated visiting parents to make sure no one feels left out. Both my Mum and Hubbie's say they don't mind when we visit so long as they see us, so we decided that this year we would make sure that all the grandparents got to see our son on Christmas Day. We had to be especially organised about it so with a Travelodge booked for me and Hubbie on Christmas Eve the boy stayed with my parents and we collected him in the morning to go to the in-laws. I cried buckets watching the Snowman and the Snowdog and we had a lie in while my parents were treated to a 6am wake up call from the smallest snowman. We came to get him and he fell asleep on my shoulder so all the plans for him to sleep on the long drive to Granny and Grandpa's house were dashed. He was delightfully sociable in all settings though and entertained everyone and made me and Hubbie smile as he said "oooh" while opening all the lovely presents he received. We took him for a Boxing Day walk with Grandma to see the ponies in the New Forest and he was adorable. My son being so gorgeous and friendly made being with the family bearable. 

This is my guilty secret and I am going to share it with you: I don't do well with family gatherings. In my head they seem a good idea and I forsee a fun time for my son and for those we visit as they seem to enjoy spending time with him. What I don't factor in is that I don't really want to be there. Hubbie is the most patient man on the planet and he sees it coming from a mile off. The impatience on the morning before we leave to visit, the increasing stress levels and I am pathalogical by the time we leave the house. He knows it's going to happen so when I say "shall we visit my family this weekend, they haven't seen the boy for a few weeks," he looks at me to see if I'm being serious and then says, "if you like." He knows I don't like and I'm doing it so that my son has a relationship with his wider family. He also bears with my insanity when they come to visit us as I invite all the parents over twice a year. If we didn't host them they would only see each other when a family member gets married.

The highlights of the family visits this year included: 

- My father saying he didn't want the gifts I'd bought him before he'd even opened them. (Me saying I'd return any he didn't like was deemed 'rude' apparently)

- Father-in-law widening the conversation from his usual four topics ("why do people insist on having a dinner table in their kitchen ?", his sister & her husband, his medical ailments and Hubbie's weight) to include the Paralympics - he didn't approve of them. I took a large gulp from my mug of tea and went back to watching the TV. 

- My own mother telling me I'm a horrible person, I always have been and she should have told me years ago. (For the record she has told me many times over the years and I'm clearly stupid as well or I'd have learned by now not to be such a crashing disappointment and all round rubbish person). 

I will explain this personal horror a little further in case you think you misread that. On New Year's Day I called my parents to say "we're on our way" and my Mum launched into a tirade at me because I asked why she had changed the plans we had made for the day. I actually wanted to take my son to watch the New Year parade in London on New Year's Day, but I always visit my parents so I decided that it would be nice for them if they saw him and we'd take him to the parade next year instead. 

I was in tears when my son wandered in to the room where I was talking on the phone and said "Mummy sad." As you can imagine I then didn't want to go any more. I mentioned previously that Hubbie is actually a saint and thanks to him being a calm and patient man we did go. I kept myself to myself and as soon as it was polite to leave we came home again. 

So this is what is going to to happen in December 2013. Me, Hubbie and the boy are going to San Francisco for a Christmas holiday. They boys can go the home of the Giants and I can go skiing at Lake Tahoe. We have friends who live in San Francisco and we've been before so we know we like it there. I'll pop some cards in the post before we leave and tell the family that we won't be doing gifts this year as we're not going to be here. I get to spend the time with the people I love the most and I won't be tempted to make any obligation visits to anyone. 

That's my plan.

p.s. If you're a blogger who's in San Francisco send me some tips over the next year and help me plan my itinerary please.  

We could be heroes… just for one day.

In a previous blog post I mentioned that I was disappointed to not have the chance to go to more events at the Olympics having been to just the beach volleyball and given my tickets away for the hockey. It was purely because Hubbie said I'd love the Olympic Park and it would be worth going to see it. So imagine my joy when he told me he had tickets for us to go to the Paralympics.

A friend of mine was at the Olympic Stadium last night as Jessica, then Greg, then Mo won gold medals and caused uproar all over the country as households watching on TV shouted, leapt up and down and felt patriotic all at once. I can well believe that it was an electric atmosphere and that there will be nothing like it again.

However, I'm not being bitter when I say that I'd rather watch the athletics at the Paralympics - I genuinely would prefer it. Of course it is a stunning achievement to make it to the Olympics and then to break records and win a gold medal all at once. It's also very gratifying to see that Team GB is represented by so many different people from backgrounds that are not traditionally 'British.' All the more enjoyable as only yesterday morning the BNP leafleted our house and I'd love to ask them how they feel about Britain being represented by people they would have 'sent back' or as the Daily Mail would have it 'plastic Brits'.

I'd prefer to watch the paralympics because there is an element of the athletes being superheroes. I don't mean this in a condescending way. After all the possibility of disabled athletes competing alongside their non-disabled peers is closer now thanks to Oscar Pistorius or the 'bladerunner' who will be the first person to compete in both the Olympics and the Paralympics. Equally South Korea's Im Dong-hyun who is completely blind competed in the archery at the Olympics.

This inclusion has to be a good thing for all involved in sport as it opens up the world of competition to anyone willing to put their effort into training for a world class event. What distinguishes a disabled athlete from the rest of us is the same as what distinguishes any athlete from the rest of us. It's not their disability it's their ability to train, commit and work hard enough to be better than the rest of us at something.

What I do hope in taking my son to the Paralympics is that he understands that disability is just another facet of life. That he will grow up to know that someone who is different in one way can still do amazing things and achieve great awards. I also want him to not feel embarrassed about disability in the way that so many people still are. Once I asked a colleague if he had been injured skiing as I hadn't noticed he walked with a stick before. He told me he had polio as a child, no big deal and we moved on. Another colleague was embarrassed on my behalf, which I just don't understand. Why is it not ok to ask a disabled person a question ? Surely better to ask and know the answer unless the person being asked is not ok about it.

A paralympian is as exceptional compared with any disabled person as Jessica Ennis is compared with me. Of course the latter is an unfair comparison as even if she weren't a lot younger and fitter than me Jessica still has the ability to be good at more than one sport while I struggle to just learn the rules.

So from a total sport-phobic I'm now an (albeit temporary) fanatic. It won't last so rest assured that I'll be back to talking about cakes and chocolate again before too long.