So how did I spend Sunday you ask ? Well ok let me tell you.

I am not built to run. I'm 48 years old. Heavier than I should be for my height. I have a history of knee and back problems and earlier this year I had a shoulder injury. Despite all of this I decided I would run a half marathon. I trained for 4 months and followed the plan to the letter - apart from the last week where I was told not to run at all. A week before the run I had to go to the physio as the pain in my leg had become impossible to ignore any more. And yet yesterday I ran a half marathon. Yes you read that right. Ok I admit I did plod most of the way round, but I definitely jogged more than walked.

We all woke up early - well apart from Blue Bear who was glued to his pillow until the last minute and yet woke up fresh as a daisy and raring to go. Brown Bear has always been an early riser so he had eaten breakfast and got dressed already. I prepared my kit and bags the night before so I only had to shower and get dressed. I packed warm clothes for afterwards, a towel, Fit Flops, lots of energy bars, water, painkillers and plasters. Hubbie got the boys ready to come and support me and we set off for Hyde Park.

As we made our way to the Macmillan marquee it started to pour with rain. It had been forecast, but I had hoped it wasn't going to happen. Thankfully it stopped as I made my way to the start. Hubbie took the boys to spend the time at the Science Museum, but he was also able to follow me on a tracker app that told him exactly where I was at any time. I set my watch to track the run and took off slowly along a track in Hyde Park that is familiar to me from so many 5k runs in the past.

The route is lined with cheering supporters and it is their encouragement that makes it possible to keep going. As I ran round St James' Park it reminded me of so many lunchtime runs with Soraya and the chats we would have. I felt my face stiffen as I tried to stop tears falling. Then I spotted the fountains where we used to stop and walk a bit and a sign that said 3 miles. It made me smile and I decided not to feel sad about losing her, but to remember the love and friendship we shared. That was literally the only wobble I had. I smiled pretty much the whole way round. People called out, "Keep going Swazi.," "You're doing so well," "Well done Macmillan."

Quite early on I felt severe cramp in my left foot and started to panic that I would have to stop. On Whitehall I leaned against a lamp post to stretch out my foot and a passing runner tapped my shoulder and said, 'keep going' - I did. I took on water at the next water stop (if you're a runner you don't drink, you 'take on water') and felt the cramp ease off. I kept going and it started to feel better, so I found my pace as I ran along the strand. There were well wishers cheering and children holding out their hands for 'high fives' which I did as often as I could.

A few miles in I was feeling the pace and took short walks as and when needed. The Macmillan supporters - and to be fair all other charities too - were amazing. As there were kind folks holding out jelly babies on the route I took a couple and the sugar hit certainly helped me keep going when I felt my legs weaken. At the halfway point the realisation hit me that I had the same again to do. Ok then, let's keep going. The volunteers at the Macmillan water point gave me a huge cheer as I went past and that was such a boost.

The weather was pretty grim, but I didn't mind as some of my training runs had been in downpours so I was used to it and I don't mind getting wet while running. It helps cool down actually. I'm glad I didn't have to run the whole way soaked through. It was grey and drizzly most of the way round then the rain really came down after the ten mile mark. My glasses were useless so I pushed them onto the top of my head and kept going. With just under 2 miles to go I stepped in a puddle (I had successfully avoided doing this so far so it wasn't too disastrous). With a wet foot and no glasses I sent a text to Hubbie to say I was nearly there. It's ok my phone was in a plastic bag - I came prepared for all weathers !

Seeing my boys and Hubbie at Princes Gate (just under a km from the finish line) lifted my spirits so much. The boys ran alongside me on the pavement calling out,
"You can do it Mummy, keep going, 800m left, only 400m left. Come on Mummy you can do it. Just 200m to go ! You did it - well done Mummy."

The leg massage at the end helped a lot. It wasn't until I stopped that I realised how tired I was. Also I was ravenous. I can't eat when I'm nervous so I hadn't eaten at all (apart from medicinal jelly babies of course). Macmillan kindly catered for their runners so I had a sandwich, a bag of crisps and some tea. It barely hit the sides.

When I got home I had some practical things to do for work the next day then I had a hot soak and a glass of prosecco to celebrate. I had done it. After all the hard work of training and the mental preparation to get this done it was over. I've not entirely processed what I did. There are people who do this sort of thing all the time. For me this was a really challenging event. I pushed myself and even on the day I had no idea if I could do it. I'm so grateful to everyone who supported me and wished me well.

I'm having a break from running for a while now. Physio has told me to take at least 2-3 weeks off. I'll go back to swimming and yoga. The stretching and relaxing stuff.

Then Hubbie reminded me that we've signed up to do the Hampton Court half marathon in March. Flippin' 'eck !!

I run therefore I am (out of breath !)

This morning I opened the curtains a little bit in our bedroom to check the weather outside. The flat roof was wet with rain. Rats ! My training plan said to do a 35 minute easy run today. It's been so hot and sunny I've been going out early in the morning to avoid the hottest temperatures. Today, however, I kept waiting for it to stop raining. We took the boys swimming and had an indoor picnic with some friends from Blue Bear's nursery class. I kept checking outside if the rain had stopped. It hadn't. In the end Hubbie said, "it's going to stop later." I think he just wanted me to go out as I'd been in a foul mood all day. As soon as I was outside I felt better. This training lark isn't so bad. To be honest the half marathon I'm training for is in the middle of October so the chances of it raining are pretty high. If I can get used to running in the wet weather it may well work in my favour.

So I'm a month into my training plan and what can I tell you ? Bear in mind I'm no athlete, but I have some tips I can share.

1. Remember what motivates you. 

In January I lost a great friend and it was a shock and it hurt like hell. I had to do something to remember her and to make sense of the loss. I cut off my hair and donated it to Little Princess Trust to make wigs for children living with hair loss from cancer. People were amazing in sponsoring me to do it and the money went to Macmillan Cancer support. I also decided to run a half marathon to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support. It was one of the things I felt I could do. In the futility of grief and loss it was something at least. On days like today when it's easier to stay indoors in the dry I remember why I'm doing this and I put on my trainers and get out there.

2. Have a 'beginner's mind.'

In yoga we use the phrase 'beginner's mind' to remind ourselves to practice with humility and with certainty that we don't know everything. It does us good to go back to the time before we knew what we were doing and to experience things as if for the first time. I am not new to running, by any means, but I am new to a half marathon and for me this a genuine challenge. I am pushing myself to do this and I am finding as I age it's more difficult to do the things that were easier before. The training plan I am following is a beginners' plan. I have no pride in taking it slowly. Which brings me to...

3. Take it nice and easy.

Years ago I listened to an interview on Radio 4 about running. In it the expert said that the best advice was to take it slowly. I have always remembered this when I've taken up running again. It's easy to go too fast to start with and end up with a stitch. I may not be the fastest, but I keep going. That's all I'm aiming for. I always remember that however far I've run I still have to get home, that reminds me to pace myself. It's not like going to the gym and running on a treadmill - which I've enjoyed doing in the past. I used to plug in headphones and watch a TV show. It made the time pass. Now I try and find different routes and times of day to keep things fresh.

4. Always take the weather with you.

I've run in most weather conditions. Once when I was staying in Brighton I went out running in high winds and it was bitter cold. The sea foam kept blowing onto my bare arms and stinging. I got back from that run breathless, pink in the cheeks and on a endorphin high you wouldn't believe. Over the winter months I was running with a thermal layer on and a hat to keep my head from getting cold. I've been running in the hot weather these last few weeks and it's tough, but also really wonderful to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I run and the lightest breeze makes all the difference. This evening I went out in the rain. A light smattering at first then later full on with rain dripping off my hair into my eyes. It was wonderful. Embrace whatever the weather brings and see how it feels. There is no right or wrong, there's just getting out there and doing it.

5. The post run high rocks ! 

However crap I feel before I go for a run I always feel better afterwards. No not better, I feel amazing. I have to exercise. It's not optional for me. Firstly there's a lot of medical stuff in my family (diabetes, heart disease, obesity, etc.) so I exercise to stave off any chance of it happening to me. Secondly, it's a way to keep myself stable. Just like I run the kids around to let off steam I have to do the same for myself. If I don't I get tense and it builds up into anxiety/stress. Running is a quick fix. Lastly it's easy to just put on training shoes and go outside and run. I used to feel really self-conscious about going outside to run. I worried about what other people thought and how I looked. Now I look at the scenery, imagine the playlist in my head. I never wear headphones when I'm running. I want to be fully aware at all times. I want to take it all in. I greet dogs that are walking and say hello to other runners. It's no big thing.

I'm not going to win any medals, but that's ok. This is about a mother of two who is almost 50 pushing myself to do more than I think I can. It's also about having something to aim for. Of course if it also means I get to fit into a smaller size then that's a bonus isn't it ?

I'm raising money for Macmillan - if you can sponsor me that would be fab - the link to my fundraising page is here: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/runswazi