Review: The Skeleton Cupboard - Tanya Byron

The first Mumsnet Blogfest I went to was so completely overwhelming - not least as the most amazing, beautiful and glamorous woman was sitting next to me. I turned to ask her a question about a point she'd made during a session when the topic of parent bloggers respecting their children's privacy came up. It was later I realised I'd been sitting next to Professor Tanya Byron.

I was delighted to be sent her book The Skeleton Cupboard to review. It's not often I get to pick up a book that I enjoy as much as this and even less frequently that I get to finish it. I have at least 4 books on the go at the moment that I've begun and not managed to get to the end of. Not because they're not good but it's the time it takes to read when you have a toddler around.

The Skeleton Cupboard is a relatively quick read as the chapters are a manageable length and the topic is divided into a few case studies that are like mini stories within the book. The case studies are not of real people, but are taken from experiences that Tanya had while training to become a psychologist in London. The stories do not make easy reading and it's really the light touch with which she tells it that makes them so compelling. There are a lot of references to her own attractiveness and a fascination with breasts that is largely irrelevant, but it is light relief. When she talks about someone's ample bosom it is in stark contrast to the harrowing cases such as the suicidal teen or the psychopath.

If this sounds a bit intense, yes it does go dark at times, but Tanya brings you back to a safe space and one where she is honest about her own shortcomings in the role she is learning. She does make reference to the difference between psychology and other disciplines, but I'm not sure I get the actual differences. The story is very much a baptism of fire, but one that she relates with kindness and respect, hence not using real case studies, but fictionalised versions of events.

I can recommend The Skeleton Cupboard as a fascinating insight into the world of psychology and some background about Tanya's own life. If I hadn't already read it I'd be taking this on holiday.

Mumsnet kindly sent me this book to write an honest review. 

Blogfest 2013 was like the sixties, if you can remember it you weren't really there.

When I worked in an office Monday morning was the usual, "good weekend ?" "Yeah it was ok, and you ?" "Oh not bad, painted the living room green. Went for dinner and watched Homeland." "Yeah I keep meaning to watch that too. Tea ?" "Oh go on then." I don't work in an office now, so the only way I get to tell anyone what I did at the weekend is to blog about it - well unless I bore the staff at the swimming pool in the morning or at Waitrose when I go to pick up my free tea that is. They smile politely, but they're not interested really.

So at an unearthly hour on Saturday morning I got out of bed and checked what time my friend Soraya was getting into Victoria Station to meet me and Jennifer. I tried to be as quiet as possible so the boys wouldn't be woken up by me, but when I left they were awake and wandering round too. I reminded Hubbie what was for breakfast, lunch and dinner and left the house for my day at my second Mumsnet Blogfest. With free tea from Waitrose in hand I met the others who were Blogfest virgins and we made our way to Kings Cross. I don't mean to be rude, but I was propositioned outside the station years ago and it now looks like a modern and fabulous European station so it feels like it's a million years away from its past. The venue itself is a big glass building with a terrace that overlooks some lovely houseboats - nothing like I expected for Kings Cross.

Having been to the first blogfest alone I arrived and stuffed myself with pastries. In keeping with tradition I did the same this time too. I also managed to find myself sitting next to Professor Tanya Byron last year so I raced down to the front hopefully. I didn't get a celebrity seating pal, but did have a prime seat to watch the first panel featuring a real life Mark Darcy and some cracking discussion with a live twitter feed running along the back screen. I will admit it was so exciting to see my tweet appear that I was only half listening to the panel, but I caught the jist which was Toby stop being daft and Stella the room loves you so you don't need to play to the crowd so much. It was refreshing to have a lively chat about internet trolling though as the subject is pretty dark and upsetting.

The think bombs from Prof Tanya, Dr Sue Black and Jon Ronson were fabulous with some food for thought as well as a new found hatred of algorithms (who knew I had feelings about those ?) It reminded me that years ago I had my first and only letter published in the Guardian Weekend magazine in which I mentioned Jon Ronson. I'm sure it's as memorable for him as it was for me. I attended some really interesting and engaging sessions and how delightful that a fellow blogger got a whoop from the audience while sitting on a panel of well known comedy writers (way to go Sonya !!) Of course Lionel Shriver's pink wellies have now become legendary, but AL Kennedy with her dry delivery is surely the only person who could rock that fabulous tank top and flat cap combo.

I was far too nervous last year to talk to the sponsors, but this time I decided to go up and introduce myself. This meant I was trying not to knock out others with my Hondamums vanity plate for the rest of the day - sadly it can't actually go on my car, but I've given it to my boy and he's delighted with it. When I popped over to see the nice chaps at Mark Warner Holidays I was rewarded with a cocktail (or two) and a photo of me on a Windsail (not looking especially athletic it has to be said !) It also enabled me to check how to enter the competition to win a fab holiday ! For the record my top tip for a family holiday is to make sure there is a pool as all of us love swimming and even if it's a rubbish resort we'll spend hours splashing around having fun on our hols.

[For more tips on how to entertain the kids on your travels, the kit you absolutely shouldn't leave home without and more visit the Mark Warner blog www.markwarner.co.uk/blog]

The afternoon session has been written about so much that I'm not going to add anything to the debate by going over it here. Personally I wasn't offended by the panel discussing whether a Mummy blogger can be a feminist. I didn't walk out, find myself shaking with anger, feel the need to shout from the balcony or quote Joss Whedon. Maybe that was the numbing effect of the alcohol or maybe it was the taking down of the live twitter feed during the more heated part of the debate as I sent my pithy contribution to the discussion by tweet. Whatever the case Jo Brand brought the day to a fine end and my friend Soraya prodding me to go and talk to her in the bar afterwards was a stroke of genius. Just before leaving we went into the photo booth run by Talk Talk and decided to pose for our quartet of photos as the Village People - no, please don't ask !

It feels like such a lot to take in and yet the time flies past. Meeting bloggers I feel I know intimately from reading their posts and following them on Twitter was a bit weird, but tapping badges so that we could exchange contact details meant I didn't have to panic about not being able to keep in touch with anyone. I'm reinvigorated and revitalised by it all (although I did spend most of Sunday in a daze and lolling around the house like a student on reading week) and raring to build on my new links and knowledge.

A special thank you to Jennifer and Soraya for hanging out with me and keeping me company on the journey there and back. Please pop over to visit their blogs and say "Hi" from me.

A birthday, a baby break, a blogfest and a botox fuelled tirade

Phew what a week it's been: Hubbie turned 40, we had our first night away from our son since he was born, I attended the inaugural Mumsnet Blogfest and this blog gained notoriety thanks to a woman who can't move her face. So here is what I learned from it all:

Artists impression of Hubbie's birthday gift.

The last minute selection of cheeses I bought for Hubbie as one of his 40th birthday gifts seemed a better idea before I sat with it on the train home and all the other passengers thought it was me who smelled a bit funky. He does love it though.

Ordering gnocchi isn't always as safe a bet as it seems. The goats cheese sauce was a big error and I don't think that's because I subbed out the smoked chicken either - who knows how bad that would have tasted (well Hubbie actually, he had that and was belching smoked chicken for hours afterwards !)

My son will stay happily with his Grandparents while we go away for the night and he doesn't miss us half as much as we miss him. Having said that it was wonderful to be able to lie in and have a leisurely breakfast and a swim with Hubbie - even if we did coo over the babies who were having a swimming lesson at the same time.

The Mumsnet Blogfest was in no way scary at all and I needn't have worried about being lonely as it was a genuinely friendly gathering of women, many of whom were just as worried as I had been about going.

I was sitting next to Tanya Byron in the first session and I had no idea until she took the mic to address a point to the panel. I knew I knew her from somewhere, but had no idea where from.

Giving myself permission to eat what I wanted was the best decision I've made in years. I not only enjoyed myself, I also tasted really good food - Beverley Hills Bakery cakes are to die for ! (and don't tell anyone, but I also had a sneaky glass of prosecco !)

A goodie bag can really make or break a great day and the one we got from Mumsnet weighed about half a tonne and was full of proper stuff. Caitlin Moran's new book and a Bonne Maman cookbook, decent chocolate (Divine and Green & Blacks), Nails inc. goth polish, Lush's latest product, a Boden brolly and not just vouchers or samples of rubbish. This was a seriously epic freebie !!

Being slagged off in an article written for the venomous Daily Mail feels completely hideous, but actually I'm being told by all and sundry that it is a badge of honour. I'm now going to order the t-shirt they have in the back of Private Eye that bears the legend "I'm the one the Daily Mail warned you about."

Please feel free to add your own comments below on the journalistic integrity of the botoxed bint :o)

It's tempting isn't it ?