Wednesday, 3 July 2013

I heart happiness

This evening I was walking behind a woman who was wearing a polka dot coat and asked her where she'd got it from. She was flattered that I'd asked and it made her smile. I often ask women who are wearing something that looks beautiful where they got it and it's nearly always a coat. At this point my friend Bee is rolling her eyes at the ceiling as she was the first person to voice (to me anyway) that I own far more coats than is strictly necessary when I said - pointedly - that Buffy the vampire slayer wore a different coat almost every episode.
Girl holding up fingers to make a heart shape into sunset

Anyway, I digress, from the topic of happiness and in particular two things that happened today that have made me happy:

Firstly my lovely friend Carole posted a piece from the Metro newspaper about Liz Jones - you know her, spitting invective weekly and last year she mocked this blog to demonstrate why Mummy bloggers are rubbish and she didn't even give me credit if you please ! Anyway, she appears to have changed her mind about her arch enemies ie. other women. Apparently she's realised that the best life choice to make as a woman in order to be happy is to be a housewife who works part time and blogs, so yay me !!

Secondly I was at a local community police meeting that I attend and found out that the sergeant of our local team has had to reapply for his job and was given his fourth choice of location. This means he will no longer be based locally to me and I won't have to deal with him any more. I have always found him rude and unhelpful when members of the community have tried to ask for help or advice so him not being there any more is a big win for me. I didn't wish him gone, but the fact that he will be is not making me unhappy.

So Karma is being nice to me right now and I feel I should pass on the happiness to others. Not least as I finished the anger management course this week so I feel equipped to impart some knowledge that I've gained to help improve relationships and restore harmony in your family:

Find your love language. So work out if you prefer a hug as a sign of love or do you like being told you are loved ? Do you prefer gifts or to do nice things for your loved one ? Identifying your own love language and that of those who you love will make for happier relationships and possibly even some nice jewellery !  

Give lots of praise instead of concentrating on what's gone wrong. So instead of saying, "I am very cross that you didn't bring the wheelie bin into the back garden last night," it is better and healthier to express it thus, "well done for noticing that the wheelie bin makes a decorative feature outside the front door all night."

My favourite was learning how to use "I" statements to avert a confrontation. The idea is that instead of saying. "you always…" or "you never…" the approach to take is to make statements that follow this format. "I feel..." When you... Next time please…" so translating this into my own experience instead of saying, "pick your socks up off the floor or I'll stab you." it would be more productive and positive for my marriage to say, "I feel like stabbing you when you leave your socks on the floor. Next time please pick them up or I'll stab you. Please."

I just need to find a suitable love language and some "I" statements for the world's bossiest pilates teacher who taught me last week. I felt like I'd been assaulted by a small skinny drill sergeant with a high pitched voice and who was a bit 'handsie' with her adjustments. I did also, however, feel like I'd worked really hard afterwards and ached in what I am choosing to believe is a good way.

Now that I've got my groove back I'm also going back to teaching yoga and am looking for a local ashtanga vinyasa class as I feel up to going back to a more energetic form of yoga.

See even being ordered around by a bendy woman isn't going to annoy me this week :o) 


  1. I really enjoyed this! I think your advice is good, and I never thought about my 'love language' before, but it makes perfect sense. I am aso bad for not giving praise so I am going to try and give out more praise from now on. Lovely post - found you through the Mumsnet Plus your post linky x

  2. Thank you for reading & even more so for commenting :o)

    I agree we don't always think about our love language & after years in a relationship it might change. I used to be all about gifts, but not so much now.

    Really pleased the plug your post linky brought you here, hope you come by again.

    Swazi xx