What is my authentic self anyway ?

A different kind of Mummy

I've seen a lot being written about the 'authentic self' recently. I've been impressed to see others living their dreams or ambitions. Taking risks and making brave decisions that might not even be clear when they start out on those plans. Some of these friends have decided to travel for a year - with kids - or to pack in jobs and start a business from scratch. My personal favourite has been the friends who decided to move to Cornwall and make a new start.

I often have feelings of envy when I hear about such plans, but then I think I'm just piggy-backing onto someone else's dreams instead of thinking about my own. You see I don't actually know what or who my authentic self even is.

Is it the shouty overwhelmed Mummy ?

Is it the barely managing to do the required hours working Mum ?

Is it the fitting in as much as possible every single day multi-tasking (out of necessity rather than choice) character ?

Rare photo of me and my boys

Is it the me who swims like nothing else matters 5-6 times a week ?

The me who loves animals and is so delighted that Baby Boy does too ?

Cat time

Who teaches yoga with a genuine love and passion for making a difference for the people who trust me with their practice ?

The me that presents on the radio and doesn't mind if no one is listening so long as I get to do this one thing ?

Or maybe it's the me that I've rediscovered lately  - the one who will do anything silly or fun to make my kids laugh ?

Hubbie always jokes that I'm a real life Miss Rabbit because I've done so many different things in my life. I'm not entirely sure if that is true - I can't fly a helicopter for a start ! I am working on becoming part of the Mummy's Fire Service though.

Firemum

I'm no Supermum, but I do have a Superboy

Sometimes being a parent feels like really hard work. Like when I woke up at last night at 3am with a snoring (but thankfully sleeping) 4 year old to my left and an unmoving cat to my right. After two nights of broken sleep and with Hubbie away it was a reminder of the early days. We've been doing this parenting lark for over 4 years now and at times it's overwhelming, exhausting and head-shakingly confusing.

Today I needed to remind myself that it's not all about being a mega-multi-tasking-Mum. You see I don't want to spend my days not being with my boy. I love him and he makes me laugh and he is my joy. Why would I want to look at my work email when I can spend the day sharing in his magical, imaginative and hilarious world ? I'll show you what I mean: 

We went to a party where the theme was pirates and princesses. My boy said he wanted to go as a fire officer - presumably as every pirate ship must have a fire safety professional on board. When we got there he accessorised his outfit with a sparkly pom pom and a cutlass. That is one badass fire officer !!

Fierce Fire Officer 

Then at half term we went to a storytelling event where there were dressing up costumes. My boy didn't want me to feel left out so he chose some pink wings for me and this mask so we could match. I thought we looked like a sinister woodland gang, but he insists we didn't.

I wouldn't want to meet these two in a forest ! 

We do our best to 'keep it real' for our boy. He doesn't watch too much TV and we limit his screen time as well as ensuring he plays outside and runs off all his excess energy. In keeping with this retro parenting attitude we've changed from our wireless hi-tech house phone to this old school dial phone which I was teaching him to use at the weekend. He wanted to use it to call the fire brigade, but thankfully his fingers are too small to turn the dial round fully. Instead we rang my Mum and he said, "Nani-mummy, I'm testing the new phone," then walked off to play outside. I think that's pretty healthy. 

It's the bat phone Mummy 

At this weekend's birthday party he was one of five kids dressed as Spiderman. He also got 'married' to the birthday girl and was the magician's assistant. Watching how confidently he stood at the front and performed I can honestly say it was the most fun I've had at a kids party in a long time. He came home with a balloon sword and some new dance moves. A win all round I'd say. 

That's magic !!

And finally tonight. My boy - who has been poorly all day and last night - came into the bathroom to brush his teeth like this. It made me laugh so much I had to take a photo. Who is this masked hero fighting the menace of tooth decay ?

That plaque doesn't stand a chance !! 

Best of all, earlier today he looked at me and said, "Mummy I love you because you feed me chips."

That'll do son, that'll do :)