Movies, music and Meena Kumari.

It's been a bit quiet over here in chocolate towers. Can you imagine that, towers made of chocolate - how fantastic would that be ? Anyway, I digress. I've been taking a break to grieve and process loss and spending time supporting my late friend's widower and her gorgeous son. By the time it gets to the evening - when I usually do my blogging and radio editing stuff - I am so shattered I've been going to bed early. I was over there the other day talking to J about his many visits to India and how much he loves it there. As I drove home I thought about the music and movies I grew up with that were my earliest introduction to my indian heritage. 

Pakeezah: Haunting vinyl memories

From an early age my parents would play indian music on the record player and often it was religious music that I recognised from going to the temple. The other music was from classic movies like Pakeezah which I wasn't allowed to watch because of the morose storyline - it is the tale of a courtesan who falls in love with a man who tries to save her from her miserable life as far as I can tell. Instead my father would tell me all about the beautiful star Meena Kumari who died of cancer during the making of the film so there are scenes where a body double posed as her so the film could be completed. The songs from this film are haunting, but also wonderful and I recall singing this because it was the only one I knew the words to. 

Kabhi Kabhi: The eternal love story.

The film star Shashi Kapoor died a while back. He was from an acting dynasty in India that continues to produce stunning looking actors. In our house he was known for being Felicity Kendall's brother in law and he was in a few Merchant and Ivory films too. When my sister was little she loved dancing on the sofa to Bollywood movies (not that we called them that back then of course) and couldn't say the names of actors so she called them all 'Shee Kapoor.' I first saw him in this classic love story about lovers meeting again years after they broke up when they are with new partners. It now has added poignancy as this song was played at the funeral of one of my Mum's friends.

Sholay: The buddy movie western. 

When I was at primary school we lived next door to an indian family whose older son was called Darminder - apparently because his mother loved the movie star of the same name. We used to walk to school with their children and one morning we knocked on the door to call for them and were told they weren't going in that day. We later found out he had died of a brain haemorrhage completely unexectedly. His movie star namesake was in this buddy movie with Amitabh Bachan - the most famous indian actor of all time pretty much - and it's a classic. It is a western with bollywood dance sequences, a cartoon bad guy and spectacular scenery. If this song doesn't make you smile, well you are made of stone ! 

Namak Halal: Eighties glamour personified. 

In 1981 my parents bought a VCR - good luck explaining what that is to your kids ! - and suddenly we didn't have to drive all the way to Poplar on Sunday afternoon to watch a movie and leave before the end so my parents could open the shop. No longer did my mum have me tugging on her sleeve to ask what was going on. I could read subtitles and follow the action myself. Movies were often 2-3 hours long so we could stop them and go back and watch later if we wanted to. I know other families who barely moved off the sofa when they got them too, but we paced ourselves and would often watch as a family. Namak Halaal was a film that was long awaited in our house as it starred Amitabh and Shashi again and the wonderful Om Prakash. Parveen Babi was the love interest and rocked some pretty stunning dresses in firmly '80s performances like this one.

Kabhi Khushi Khabi Gham: Yes, it's another Amitabh Bachan movie.  

I was walking through Borough Market once and spotted a film crew - someone told me they were filming a Bollywood movie. I never found out which one though. It has always been considered glamorous to film in locations other than India. When I was a child films featured scenes from the Swiss Alps as it was considered exotic to have snow in a movie. The ones I loved the most featured Leicester Square and befuddled passers by wondering why these people were dancing in the middle of London. This one goes a step beyond and is more travelogue than love song.

Generic sixties movies: Beehives and winged eyeliner a-go-go ! 

The best by far - in my opinion - is the truly retro style of the movies made in the sixties. The women were all winged eyeliner and beehives and the dresses were just gorgeous. I recall watching my Mum get ready for social events and she would style her beautiful long black hair and apply make up with precision using a steady hand to get the eyeliner just right. She would choose a pretty bindi colour from a carousel and using a tiny brush she would draw it on. She looked as elegant as any of the actresses - Saira Banu, Waheeda Rahman or Nargis. I love the music of movies from this era. Sometimes it's beatnik, often it's rock and roll and it's always got an indian twist.

No kissing please we're indian: 

While it wasn't the done thing to show too much flesh, movie stars could get away with it in the name of art. The directors even created the infamous 'wet sari' phenomenon which enabled them to show the female form without any nudity. I honestly had no idea it was so well thought out. The puritanism of the movies from my childhood (no kissing, no nudity) has relaxed in recent years. It reminds me of Cinema Paradiso when the priest would go to the cinema to check all inappropriate content has been edited out of films before they were shown to the public. Salvatore's reaction at seeing all the banned kisses on a film reel that he was left by his beloved friend - the projectionist - Fredo was joyous. When the film Sagar came out indian cinemas sold out every performance as youngsters flocked to watch the first on screen kiss of their lives. It was a big moment for kids raised in traditional homes that had banned such 'filth.' Can you imagine if we'd seen this ?

I miss the velvet seats most of all.

I took Brown Bear to the cinema last week for the first time in ages. We were invited to see Captain Underpants by a friend who gets tickets to preview screenings and I wasn't able to go so he went with Hubbie and Blue Bear. So with the holidays well underway I thought I'd take him out - just us - as a special treat. We went to see Despicable Me 3 and he had popcorn and a soft drink I don't let him have often and we went for pizza afterwards. It was a lovely thing to do and I hope we get to do it again soon.

I used to go the cinema very regularly and now it's such a rarity that I only get to see recent films if they are on Sky movies and I get to watch them when we visit the in-laws. You see films have always been a big deal for me. The other night Dirty Dancing was on and I was telling Hubbie how I'd been to watch it when it first came out - I was 16 - and I was obsessed with it. I convinced myself I wanted to be a dancer. Just like I decided after watching Desperately Seeking Susan that I would wear those ridiculous bangles and ribbons in my hair and shop in second hand shops. I spent a lot of time in Flip on Long Acre in Covent Garden after watching that film and even spent time in Camden while also thinking, "this is a ridiculous place full of tourists why is it so popular ?"

Whenever a film comes on TV I will tell Hubbie the story that comes with it. More often that not he's not seen it anyway, but I like to add a bit of a personal touch to enhance the experience. Here are a few of my favourites:

Back to the future - Me and my brother went to watch this in the eighties and were probably wearing bodywarmers (before the were renamed gilets) which Mum had bought us in Southall market. The lads sitting behind us were talking and at a crucial point in the plot one lad - who had clearly seen it already - told the other one, "It's ok he's wearing a bullet proof vest." Suspense ruined.

Toy Story - I went to see this with all my siblings. My sisters sat behind us and I sat next to my brother. At the bit when Buzz finds out he's a toy and not a real astronaut I heard my brother quietly say, "Oh no," with genuine sadness. He was 21 !

Star Trek into Darkness - This was one of the few films I've seen with Hubbie. We upgraded to the posh seats as a treat and settled in for the cinematic experience and it was fantastic. At one point Benedict Cumberbatch's character has been captured and he's asked his name. The dramatic music lifts and he booms, "I am Khan." and at that moment someone in the audience exclaimed, "Oh Fuck !" Everyone collapsed with laughter.

Sliding Doors - I watched this with my long term cinema buddie Sandra and I had been looking forward to it for ages. We went to a daytime screening and two older ladies were sitting in front of us. They seemed to be enjoying it until one of them said, "she looks like her sister or something." and it became evident that they had no idea that it was two separate strands of the same story. We decided not to interfere to correct them.

Broken Arrow - when I used to work away from home sometimes I'd have a quiet afternoon so I went to watch this film in chinatown in Birmingham. About twenty minutes after the designated start time nothing was happening so I went to ask what happened and the manager admitted that he hadn't realised anyone was in the cinema so the projectionist hadn't put it on. I sheepishly went back to my seat to watch John Travolta smoke and over-act like a good 'un.

Titanic - I went to watch this in the much-missed ABC cinema in Streatham. It was a lovely old art deco building and the screens were old and the seats a bit tatty, but it had its own charms. During the film I noticed the screen seemed to be juddering, but no one else was bothered by it. After an hour of this I had a bit of a headache so I went to ask the manager to check if I was imagining it. He looked at the screen and said, "Oh that's not right is it ?" and went to fix it. I don't know if anyone else noticed.

Boxing Helena - I am taking a guess at the film because it was truly terrible, but I did go and see it. I was in a cinema in central London during the day and decided to sit to the left side out of the way so I could spread out and enjoy my snacks in peace. Then a woman and her daughter walked in looked around at the completely unoccupied seats and decided to sit right in front of me. In an empty cinema.

Vantage Point - Me and Hubbie decided to go to the cinema when we were in India. We went to a shopping mall in Delhi, my grandmother went to a coffee shop to watch the cricket - yes I being serious - and we went to watch a film. We paid to upgrade our seats and were offered a menu as we sat down. The waitress served me tea on a tray in our seats and offered a list of snacks. It was a bit odd but so very indian. I loved it.

Oh I miss the old days of visiting fleapit cinemas - actually no not really. I do miss going to the cinema though. I should do it more often.

Going to the pictures while staying at home

I was always mad keen on films and would go 'to the pictures' every week with my friend Sandra and we'd often go to eat before or after and catch up over a chat. We would choose a film that one or other us fancied watching and Sandra would read the reviews to get an idea of how good it might be. We went out a lot over the ten years or so that we were 'cinema buddies' and planned our upcoming trips to watch films. It wasn't always about the film we were seeing, we watched Mannequin on one of my birthdays, Dirty Dancing on another. We often travelled to other cinemas in London to watch films with a limited release so we watched obscure Australian films like Red Rock West or Lantana in out of the way places. This was all before children so now I rarely go to the cinema and if I do it's usually to watch a kids' film. In fact the last one I saw in the cinema was probably Inside Out.

To make up for this I often watch films when we stay with the in-laws as they have Sky Movies. Otherwise I've started having a 'movie night' with Brown Bear where we close the curtains, get a big bag of popcorn and watch a film together. I started him off with the original Star Wars trilogy - because I'm a purist and didn't want to pollute his understanding of the Star Wars universe with the inferior prequels. Of course he's heard of the franchise and even knows who all the characters are, but he wasn't old enough to watch the films until recently. He found the Force Awakens far too scary so we didn't get too far with that one, but we can come back to that when he's a bit older.

I found it a bit disturbing that he preferred the character Prince Hans to Han Solo and thought Kylo Ren was cool - I did wonder for a while if this was potentially a worry. Then we watched Darth Vader in the films - instead of on a lunch box or a frisbee - and he got a better idea of the 'baddie' side of him. When we watched the Empire Strikes Back he already knew the big reveal about Vader so that wasn't as much of a shocking moment as I had hoped. I loved that he also recognised that Leia is a badass - only good can come of this. I'm delighted that he has become a fan of the 'real' Star Wars films before we watch the prequels and that he has an interest in sci fi and women as heroic figures. After all I've got Firefly and Buffy to introduce him to yet.

Watching films with my boy is wonderful and I'm so pleased we get to enjoy this special time together huddled under a blanket on the sofa - occasionally with the cat. The bit I miss is the discussion with another grown up afterwards to clarify the things I didn't follow or to share "I cannot believe..." moments. The other night I was watching Guardians of the Galaxy with Brown Bear and he explained to me that Rocket is a raccoon and we both laughed at "I am Groot." Then at the bit where he says, "We are Groot." I sobbed. Please tell me I wasn't alone ? I'm not sure Brown Bear fully appreciated my emotional reaction.

I was watching Batman vs Superman with Hubbie (well he was asleep so it was just me really) and two things really surprised me. 1. Affleck is not a bad Batman. I know he was not a popular choice, but he was significantly better than George and I say that as a devoted fan of the Clooney. The bigger shock for me, though, was that I had no idea Lex was short for Alexander. Is it only me who missed this ? In all the years of growing up with Gene Hackman as Luthor, then the bloke in Clark and Lois, then Billy Zane (how mad is that ?) and now the Social Network guy how is this the first time I'm hearing his full name. Please tell me I'm not a total idiot for not knowing that ?

Then there's the films that are just for me. These days that's anything featuring Chris Hemsworth. Ok, I'm not really watching his acting and the recent Ghostbusters remake recognised this and gave me exactly what I wanted. I used to have the same reaction to Matthew McConaughey before he went all method and serious. There was always a guarantee of a shirt off scene and plenty of ridiculous reasons for him to wear very little. Brad Pitt as JD in Thelma and Louise was no more than eye candy and if you think this is gratuitous, yes you're right. It's also wonderful. Not every film has to be about learning something, sometimes it's just about pure pleasure.

Anyway, I'm working through movies that I think Brown Bear will like and there are so many still to go. He has asked to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2 and is still holding out for Boss Baby. Sometimes I scour the TV channels idly and the other night Thor was on - well that was my evening made. If Zoolander, Dodgeball or Coming to America is on Hubbie will sit and watch them again even though we've seen them so many times we know every line. It's still worth the time to sit and watch together. Recently we watched Room and I cried for most of it. I did the same when watching I, Daniel Blake.

Ok, so I don't get to go to the cinema any more, but I still get to watch films and sometimes I even get to watch them to the end. Hubbie is out tonight so I'll put the boys to bed and see what's on. You know I think I even prefer watching films at home - in the cinema you don't get Neo on your lap and endless cups of tea. They're missing a trick there.

Do you know what we've done this Summer ?

This is the first year we've had summer holidays with our boy. Of course we do things with him all year round, but this is the first time we've had a few weeks to fill with activities. He has been going to a nursery that runs all year round, but as he's going to be in school this September we decided to give him a break first to help with the big transition. So now we have first hand knowledge of how challenging it is to fill the weeks of summer when you have a child to entertain. We've planned meticulously to ensure that our boy has enough to keep him busy and the weather has mostly been lovely so we've been able to go out and do some fun things.

My boy rode a Sumatran Tiger (just call him Pi)

We love outdoor activities and as he finished before the official summer holidays we were able to do go on a London Safari before the schools broke up and everywhere became super busy. We also aim to familiarise ourselves with where we live and to try new things as a family so we discovered new places in South Norwood  including a country park that we didn't know about. One lovely sunny afternoon we travelled to Biggin Hill and visited Foal Farm animal sanctuary where we met the rabbit that I sponsor. We also made friends with the other animals that live there including cats, horses and goats.

Keeping things local we are fortunate to have so many activities in our area and one that I only discovered this holiday is Whitgift Weenies. This is club that is free to join and they run free activity mornings for children in the middle of the Whitgift shopping centre in Croydon. The ones we've been to so far have included a loom band workshop and the most amazing children's performers and free face painting for everyone. The best was the chap who made balloon animals and entertained the children then at the end climbed inside the biggest balloon we've ever seen !! He did make all of the children promise not to try it at home, but I admit mine did look like he was considering it *grimace*

My boy shoots hoops

Of course not everything can be free and our favourite local activity is a sports activity for pre-schoolers called Totstars. They have been running Totstars Summer Camp with different sports every day, crafts, quiet time and fresh fruit. My boy comes home after 3 hours exhausted and having had a lot of fun with friends. I also get to do a few things while he is busy - like finish a cup of tea or hang up washing in the sunshine that then gets soaked when it pours with rain - humpf.

Talking of freak weather we have had to make some alternative plans for those inevitable indoor days and one of the best is the Gorringe Park Pub cinema in Tooting. All summer they show free films for children during the day and for grown-ups at night. It's an ideal activity for rainy days in the purpose built cinema downstairs complete with popcorn, cinema seats and massive bean bags or for sunny days in the pub garden with outdoor games too. We've only recently discovered this gem and will be going a lot more often I can tell you !

Setting up the 'pins'

Testing the 'bowling ball'

We like to spend time at home too and I keep cardboard egg boxes, toilet roll inners and all manner of materials for model making or making impromptu instruments - you should see our tissue box guitar collection. The materials pile gets bigger by the day so I was delighted when my boy helped himself to some things and went off quietly to the back room. A few minutes later he called me in to play a game with him and this was what he had created - we call it ten (toilet roll) pin bowling. He uses a lightweight small football as the bowling ball so it's very safe to play indoors, thankfully. I'm so pleased he used his initiative and made a game to amuse himself •proud face*

One of my interests - other than parenting, teaching yoga and blogging of course - is radio and I've produces and presented few about fun things to do in the holidays. My show is aimed at families with children and offers ideas for how to spend time together from days out to unusual activities. You can listen to my latest shows by clicking on the links in the margin just to the right of this blog post. If you can spare an hour make a cup of tea and have a listen. Of course you can pop it on while you do something else, it is radio after all :)

To help get you started here are the links to my guide to all you need to know about family festivals  and the show I did about Open Farm Sunday . Then there's this show based on some lovely ideas from Alison at Not another mummy blog - 50 things to do with a toddler in London . We have tried a few of them, but by no means all, so there are plenty left for us to work our way through.

We grew tomatoes 

At the start of the summer I was walking through Surrey Street Market in Croydon on my way to present my show and I saw a stall selling plants. They had small tomato plants for 50p each and I thought we'd have a go at growing tomatoes. We chose 4 different varieties including two that produce yellow or 'golden' tomatoes. I had hoped that these would inspire my son to eat tomatoes as he insists he doesn't like them, but I'm hoping he will try them if he picks them from the plant himself. So with the alternating wet and sunny weather they have flourished and look absolutely amazing now. I can't believe that I've grown them from such humble beginnings. The real test will be if he actually eats them when they are ready.

Of course it's never a challenge to ask a toddler to eat a biscuit - especially when it's got a big smiley face on it. He'd never tried BN biscuits before so when we got two packs to try he kept asking when he could have one. I told him we'd all have them as a family, not least as I wanted to try them before he got his paws on them and ate the lot ! We tried the chocolate and raspberry flavours and they are delicious and not too sweet - ideal with a cup of tea (for me) or as a treat (for my boy).

A happy alternative to indian sweets :)

Last weekend was an indian celebration that we call Rakri in my family where sisters tie a coloured band to their brother's wrist and exchange sweets and gifts. My boy doesn't have a sister, but he does have a lovely cousin who always sends him a rakri even though she now lives in Canada. As a special treat this year we decided he could have a 'smiley biscuit' instead of indian sweets and his smile was a mirror image of the one on his BN biscuit.

We're having so much fun this Summer - we've even had a chance to sit in the garden and relax.

 Chilling out in the sunshine

This post is an entry for 42 Days of Summer Linky Challenge sponsored by McVitie’s BN. Learn more at http://bit.ly/1mRpMCL 

Labor Day: Review

In my youth I wrote film reviews for the university newspaper and later I was the arts editor - and was criticised for favouring the modern arts such as cinema and stand up comedy over the traditional ones like theatre and classical music. It wasn't true, but there you go. Being invited to a preview screening is so very exciting as I often don't watch films until long after everyone else, so to get to see one before it's actually released is a rare treat. I've known the friend I went with since those uni days and over the years we've been to watch artier films like Pollock and Magnolia. I dragged him to watch Along Came Polly some years back and I think he's just about forgiven me so he agreed to join me for this preview.

Labor Day is based on a book of the same name and was directed by Jason Reitman - the Academy Award winning director of Juno and Up In The Air. The stars are Kate Winslet and Josh Brolin and some younger actors who grow up to become Tobey Maguire. There is a tiny appearance by Juno's father (J.K. Simmons) which was lovely as was the realisation that the policeman in the town was Dawson (James Van Der Beek).

The story centres on a Labor Day weekend when Henry Wheeler and his mother Adele meet Frank Chambers in the supermarket and he convinces them to take him home with them as he is in need of help. They soon realise he is an escaped convict and Stockholm Syndrome sets in almost immediately as they fall in love with their captor while he repairs the house and they try not to alert the police or neighbours to his presence in the home.

Not only is this story about Adele finding herself again after many losses in her life, but about Henry discovering a father figure in this man who comes into their lives and in one long weekend becomes the piece that completes their family. The portrayal of Frank as a misunderstood man is typified by the scene where he teaches Henry and a disabled neighbour to play baseball having earlier baked a peach pie.

This film had a touch of the Bridges of Madison County about it and yet at rare points it reminded me of Juno - which I loved. It is beautifully shot, but the storytelling is a bit mawkish for my liking and the characters are quite one dimensional. The mother of the disabled boy and Henry's father in particular are too simplistic. The fact that they would uproot their entire lives for a man they barely know was a bit baffling too, but the build up of tension does create a sense of drama.

I'm growing to like Josh Brolin as an actor and his gruffness suits this role really well. Kate Winslet almost reprises her role in Revolutionary Road - with a touch of Holy Smoke there too - and at times she reminds me of Ruth Jones in Stella. She plays Adele as frumpy and sad, but it is a fine line between sympathetic and pathetic. Henry is the narrator of the story so maybe this is more about his point of view of his mother at a trying time.

This is definitely a Sunday afternoon movie and there was one point where a sob came up from a fellow audience member - I was close to tears myself - so it's also a bit of a weepie. Maybe a rainy Sunday afternoon :)

Labor Day: official release date 21st March 2014
Cert 12a

Thanks to Mumsnet Bloggers and Paramount Pictures for inviting me to this preview :)