Day two in the house and Neo hasn't left the sofa...

Ignoring a royal jubilee is easier than you'd think. I mean the swimming pool was practically deserted this morning which meant I had a lane all to myself and my son really enjoyed paddling around without lots of other children in the pool.

Now I'm no republican (I have an ironic royal wedding thimble and somewhere in my Mum's house we have a Charles and Diana mug), but I'm so not interested in bunting and union jack cupcakes it's just not funny.I do recall the silver jubilee in 1977 when I had a day off school and stood on the pavement outside my parents' shop as the Queen's car drove past and I was convinced she waved at me.

My parents knew a lovely Sri Lankan family who were staunch royalists and the pictures of royalty in their home were only outnumbered by photos of the Pope. This was all pre-Diana so there was a general sense of respect and deference to the royals rather than the fakery that 'they're just like us' that we are cajoled into now. I mean if Kate can wear the same dress as Tulisa (albeit Alexander McQueen) what more proof do we need that they're just normal people ?

I've been far more excited about the Apprentice finale tonight than the flotilla on the Thames. From the snippet of news that I just watched it looked pretty pointless, but my Mum enjoyed watching it and was very excited when she spotted a Sikh standing next to Her Madge. As a longstanding civil servant my Mum was invited to the Queen's garden party a few years ago and she was so proud and delighted. My Dad went with her and apparently mistook the Duke of Edinburgh for a shambling drunk as he ambled past (well you can see why he might can't you ?).

Their generation of immigrants from Commonwealth countries have an admiration of the royal family that seems to have ebbed away in subsequent generations. The tea towel count in homes of parents of friends who come from the Caribbean has always struck me as unnecessarily high. It's when they're framed that I think it's gone too far.

As I say I'm not committed enough to be an actual republican. My friend Nic abhors the royal family, but I treat them like I do the people who bullied me at school - I just ignore them. Of course if I use a stamp or money I come into contact with HRH, but otherwise she doesn't really impact on my life much.

It's nice having Hubbie home for 4 days though, so for that thanks HRH :o)

The streets of London… are paved with living statues.

I turned my back for a few months and something happened to London. I mean I knew that the streets were being ripped up and crossings shifted and stuff, but let's just take Piccadilly Circus and Leicester Square.

When did the Trocadero become Ripley's Believe it or not ?
Why did the Swiss Centre turn into M&Ms world ?
What is happening behind the hoardings surrounding Leicester Square ?
Who is the multicoloured chap hanging around outside the enormous "London" shop on Piccadilly Circus and why is he waving an umbrella ?
Finally…
Where on earth did all the bloody moving statues come from and why can I not walk along the pavement without seeing a dozen of them ? It's like walking through Edinburgh during the festival.

Also it seems all the theatres have been renamed so when I went to see The Ladykillers I had to find the Gielgud theatre. Once I found it I realised I'd been there before with my sister who was chatted up by some freshies before we went in. She was very polite, but dismissive in response which I remember being impressed by at the time.

Of course in a few months time the city will be heaving with visitors who are here for the Olympics and they won't have any idea what I'm moaning on about. It reminds me of the time I went to Edinburgh outside of the festival and didn't recognise the Grassmarket as it wasn't heaving with street acts and tourists.

When people criticise London for being busy, dirty, crowded, unfriendly, etc. I get really cross. It's mostly the ungrateful gits from out of town who've moved to London for the work who complain it's not more like 'back home' where they can leave the doors unlocked and the local shopkeeper knows what colour your underwear is. To which my stock response is,  "Oh is that the same place you left because there was no work for you then ?" If you pick on my beloved home town expect short shrift from me.

I can take things changing and I appreciate that being dynamic is what makes cities so vibrant and exciting. When I was a single woman dating in London was fabulous as there are so many places to meet and so much to see. I have a dating memory (variously good, bad or ugly) of most sights in London and some of them are so indelibly imprinted on my brain that any change to the landscape is like rewriting history.

Now I'm working on new memories to share with my son. I can't wait to show him the Transport Museum, take him to play softball in one of the many parks or to walk along the South Bank taking in the sights and sounds. I just hope he loves it as much as me Hubbie do.