The future's bright... if my boys have anything to do with it.

Today we went to a family event organised by my Mum at a Sikh temple. The boys wore their special indian clothes, covered their heads and took off their shoes. They've been before so they know how to show respect and what to do, but today Brown Bear did something extra special. He saw other family members serving food in the langar hall (where Sikhs offer free food to anyone who visits the temple) and asked if he could help. He went to wash his hands and came back to help serve food. I cannot tell you how proud me and Hubbie are of our boy. 

My boy serving food at the Gurdwara

I've been thinking about the things we do that fit in with the Unilever Brighter Futures initiative and then today he did this wonderful selfless thing. Like a lot of parents we want our chidren to have a positive impact on the world they live in so we try to lead by example. 

I take the boys with me when I make donations to the food bank - they help choose the food items and I talk to them honestly about how important it is to help others. This is also why they understand the concept of langar is such a fundamental in our society as it's about caring for others. 

We went through Brown Bear's clothes the other week as he had so many new ones for his birthday and chose which ones to hand down to Blue Bear and which ones could be given to other children who could use them. I was surprised at how once he understood what was going to happen to this clothes Brown Bear was so willing to part with things he has loved so much. Knowing another child might like to wear a nice t-shirt made him all the more keen to give it away. 

I enourage the boys to be kind and helpful to others and we have a great relationship with our neighbours. Jill has been living on her own since her husband died a few years ago and the boys have adopted her as a 'spare grannie' (her chosen epithet, I promise you !) As well as being a fantastic helper to me she's also a great influence on the children and they often go to see her to keep her company. It is important to me that this intergenerational friendship is part of our family life. There is something magical about how much it means to Jill to have small children in her life again. Equally seeing how considerate my boys are to her and that they think about asking her over for a tea and a play is just lovely. 

In the reasearch that Unilever did for their brighter futures initiative they found out that six out of ten parents say they have started to live in a ‘greener’ way at home at the suggestion of their children. Actually we have always been pretty green, but now that my boys realise that there is an environmental benefit to the things we do they are more inclined to do them too. Most of the things we do are instinctive:

• We save water - I won't let it go to waste at all - if there is water left undrunk it gets reused for plants around the house. 

• I have trained the entire family to turn off the taps when brushing teeth to save water - it's a small, but effective action. 

• We have a special waterproof timer for the shower so that there is no lingering and the boys love to try and beat the timer. 

• We collect rainwater in a waterbutt and it gets used for plants in the garden in the drier months. 

We don't let anything go to waste.

Any and all packaging is reused. From boxes that go to pre-school to the parcel contents such as bubble wrap, shredded paper and even packing peanuts (those polystyrene things that cannot be recycled) get used for art and play projects at school.

Finally I like my boys to be part of the community and to understand that this means doing for others. That is why today was so special. Being from two different cultural backgrounds can be a lot for children to take on so for my boy to embrace the Sikh values in our family is really special to me.

We're raising our boys to make a postive contribution to society - again this is best demonstrated by what they see us doing. I am a trustee of an inclusive dance charity and the boys support the work we do by joining in fundraisers such as the annual Ceilidh. Disabled and non-disabled dancers who take part in our projects come along and we get to do something inclusive, fun and raise funds at the same time.

Quite 

I honestly believe that we are contributing to a brighter future. Not least as when Blue Bear came to join our family it was a big learning curve for us all. I'll be posting all this week about adoption and it's special place in our hearts so I hope that you will join me to find out more.  

This post is an entry for BritMums #brightFuture Challenge, sponsored by Unilever 

Learning all the time...

It's always nice to have a Bank Holiday as just that one extra day makes all the difference. Now I'm working again it also means a bonus day in the week that I can spend with my boys. This week we made the most of our long weekend doing lots of lovely things together. The best thing, though, was that I learned a few life lessons and had time to appreciate them. In the spirit of shared learning I thought you'd like to hear them.

I've been pondering the origin of the name Waitrose for a few weeks now. I mean all the other supermarkets are pretty well known, but I've never known where Waitrose came from. Until we were sitting in traffic for three hours on Bank Holiday Monday and I had time to look it up. Apparently the store was first opened in Acton (close to where I grew up) and it was started by Messers Waite, Rose and Taylor. When Mr Taylor parted ways with the others it was named Wait(e)Rose after the remaining partners. Pretty obvious really.
Lesson One: Sometimes things are as simple as you think they are. 

I thought I'd try an experiment with eating as a family this week. On Thursday Hubbie was at home with our boy while I was at work during the day and I suggested that we all have an early dinner in the evening when I got in. Usually Hubbie is home later than the boy can wait to eat, but on Thursday I got back, prepared hot dogs and fries for all of us and we sat to eat together. Usually we only get to eat together at the weekend so this was a bonus family meal. It was pretty successful actually with the boy loving that we were eating with him and he had great fun adding mustard to his hot dog, which he didn't eat, but small steps.
Lesson Two: It's worth trying something new and if it works it might become a regular thing. 

My father-in-law and I rarely agree on anything at all, but this week he surprised me. In discussing the recent local elections he shared his dismay that they had no UKIP candidate locally that he could vote for so he settled on the Green candidate instead. Now I'm all for votes for Greens and think the more the better, but I was highly amused that he'd go from a party that loathes wind farms to one that is all about sustainable energy. An almost complete volte face if you will.
Lesson Three: An old dog might not learn new tricks, but if it's confused it might surprise you with a new trick anyway. 

Then there were the really quick ones:

• Any and all community meetings are boring - this does not bode well for a future in politics ! 

• Badly made toast is unforgiveable. 

• There is no new music - all the fuss about Daft Punk's single Get Lucky is just proof that old school disco music really is foot-tappingly addictive. 

• Brushing the cat does not mean he won't immediately shed tonnes of white fur when he sits on my jeans. 

And most important of all:

• Laughing and playing with Hubbie and Son are my favourite pastimes.

Learning is great isn't it ?

Never, never, never… Oh well ok, as it's you

John Cusack often tells his Twitter followers that if poor grammar and spelling bothers them they should unfollow him as the content is more important than how it's delivered (my words not his). It's not a philosophy I adhere to usually, but I make an exception for him as I think his tweets have the capacity to entertain and inform, but to be honest I break my own zero tolerance rule because I like him. It's the same rule that applies to the films he has been in - yes even Hot Tub Time Machine which when I saw an online trailer for I genuinely thought was an online spoof as it looked so bad. I can't say the same for Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil which despite being directed by Clint Eastwood and starring JC (a dream combination in my book) didn't hold my attention and bored me to actual sleep. Otherwise I heart John for wearing a Clash t-shirt in any movie where he has wardrobe approval as it shows he has great taste in listening to English bands - if he wore a Smiths t-shirt I might properly explode.

The same exception applies to my friend Jan who sends me text messages in teenage text speak which grates on me if done by anyone other than her. I suspect it's because I find it endearing that someone who has a senior citizen's bus pass writes "gr8 to c u on Sat, thx 4 cream t." I mean come on that's far too cute to be annoyed about.

On a different tack my husband follows any and all sports (except Rugby, but in extremis he has been known to watch that too) despite the fact that years ago I swore blind that I would never marry a man who was obsessed with sport. Clearly he won me over with his witty repartee, his massive intellect and that meal he makes with prawns and pineapple. Actually I refer you to the previous blog post that lists the lovely things he does which make me heart Hubbie (yes, yes I know I hate when people do that too, I promise not to do it any more). 

An area in which we are perfectly matched is our shared interest in politics which is why my friendship with my closest friend is the most puzzling example of my exception to the rule theory. Our politics are polar opposites, yet we get along and don't actually argue. We disagree, but often find common ground that is not party political. In fact it's thanks to SJ that I shadowed a Green London Assembly member (the lovely Jenny Jones) when I took part in a programme to encourage BME women to become involved in politics. I discussed the scheme with SJ and told her I wasn't sure which party to ask to be matched with and she said that she considered me to be most closely aligned with the Greens. She showed great insight that revealed in all the years we've known each other she has identified something that I haven't acknowledged myself. Now that's a good friend ! 

The most recent revelation has been just today. I have for years been very sniffy about people who home school their kids - and as a yoga teacher and part-time Yummy Mummy I know a few - as I've always seen it as self-indulgent and hippie to take Jacinta out of school because she's far too bright for the rubbish teachers at her school to cope with. This opinion has altered since I've realised that if my son was only offered a place at a very poor school I'd have to seriously consider home schooling him as I daren't risk some yobbish Croydon yoofs hurting a hair on my darling boy's head. Today, however, I found out that my NCT teacher Wendy is taking her daughter out of a local school to home school her. I can't blame her, from what she's told me it's the best decision to improve her daughter's chances of actually getting an education. My own fear has always been that even though I'm a qualified teacher I'd struggle to do a good enough job teaching my own child(ren) the curriculum and I'd feel guilty for letting them down.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have a strict zero tolerance policy on most things with the following exceptions:

1. Poor spelling and grammar - unless you're John Cusack (or Alex O'Loughlin if he's on twitter)

2. Text speak - unless you're old enough to know better and do it to be cool

3. Sports obsessives - unless I married you in which case you put up with far more than I do (and bless you for that)

4. Tories - unless you're SJ, that is the only exception

5. Home Schooling - unless you're a normal person in every other way like my friends Wend and Siobhan. If you're a homeopathic, 'spiritual,' yurt dweller just move along now and we'll say no more about it.

Thanks for listening :o)