Saturday, 30 March 2019

Yes, I am Iron Woman.

The doctors are getting younger at my surgery. I know that's an age thing - like when people say if you think police officers are getting younger it's a sign you're getting older. Last time I went I could have sworn the lad was only just in his twenties. He was good though so no complaints. The one I saw on Friday to get my results was just as young, but also buff. I mean proper goes to the gym, probably does iron man challenges and looked like the kind of doctor you see in an American TV show, not a suburban GP practice. Anyway, I wasn't there to ogle at his broad shoulders (they were fantastic !) I was there to find out if anything was wrong. He asked if I had been under any stress.

Hold my pint.

Now what are we counting as stress exactly ? I don't do stress. Nah. It's just not me. Do I keep myself busy doing things and keep going long past the point where by body and brain are tired of it all ? Maybe. Do I prioritise other people's needs over mine ? Mostly. Do I ask for help if I'm struggling ? Nope. Is it because I'm afraid of looking weak ? Dunno.

Have I experienced stressful situations recently ? Hell yes. Did I get through them ? Well, I'm here aren't I ? How did I manage the stress ? Well it felt like the whole world fell from under my feet. I was shaken and in shock. I put it in a box and carried on with what I had to do. I'm a parent after all. Kids don't care if you're an emotional wreck, they just want to know why they don't have that snack you promised.

Is it the stress that is contributing to lack of sleep ? Well dur. Of course it is. Waking up at 2am and again at 4am is no joke when you have to get up at 5.45 anyway. It's guaranteed to create a slight sense of unreality all the time.  Of course the clocks changing tonight and losing one hour of sleep isn't exactly helpful.

Buff doctor asked me if there was anything I was doing to reduce the stress. Not sure that's in my gift big fella. I mean it's really inconvenient having people get sick or die around you. Losing people (literally, figuratively or emotionally) is pretty much out of my hands. While I would love to have the capacity to make that stuff better I'm not sure I can. Yes I can run and swim and go to bed earlier. I can make sure I drink more water and eat sensibly. What I can't do is make someone come back, or not have cancer, or be with me if that isn't what they want.

Thanks Doc. I will take the healthy eating sheet and I'll increase my iron intake. I'm sure that will help.

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