Sunday, 2 September 2018

When will I ever sleep again ?

Last year I went to visit a friend who moved to Cornwall for a change of lifestyle after a serious illness and miraculous recovery. She told me that now her kids are all adults and she doesn't work full time she and her husband sleep in and get up late, "like teenagers." Of all the things I was jealous of; the view of the gorgeous countryside, proximity to the beach, living in Cornwall, having the freedom to just up sticks and swap houses with someone. The one thing I was most jealous of was that when I got up early in the morning to get to my meeting she was still in bed and didn't have to get up. 

Now I'm back at work full time my alarm goes off at 5.30am most days. I run every other day in preparation for the half marathon I'm doing in October and often I just autopilot my way to work. An early start suits me as I can get in before anyone else, work in a quiet environment and relax into my day. Then I leave in time to pick up my boys from school / summer camp / clubs. What is also means is that by about 8.30 pm I'm shattered. 

I go to the theatre a fair amount. Shows begin around 7.30pm so I'm fine for the first half, but to be honest unless it's an amazing (or very loud) show I'm unlikely to make it through the whole thing awake. I can function most of they day. I have to. Then at night I should recuperate. I should go to bed early and rest in preparation for the early start. However, I find I have a to do list that hasn't been looked at, never mind attempted. When the boys were away this week staying with grandparents I did a full day at work, went for a training run, watched a show at the theatre and was hanging washing at 1am. Even the cat looked at me in disbelief. Being judged by the laziest creature in the house - harsh ! 
So what I want to know is when do I get to sleep again ? I stopped sleeping when I had Brown Bear, well you do don't you ? Then when Blue Bear came to live with us he has serious sleep issues so I was up with him numerous times in the night. Now they both sleep fine - well Blue does wake up, but he calls for Daddy so I'm off the hook. I still find myself waking up frequently and looking at the time. It's exhausting ! 

Do I have to wait until my boys leave home to sleep ? Will I have to live in the country ? Am I ever going to get a night of sleep and wake up refreshed rather than creaking and groaning and wishing I had gone to bed earlier ? 

Who knows. 

I'd better go upstairs now. I've probably got washing to put away or something. 


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