Friday 6 September 2013

Countdown to a toddler meltdown

5 hours to meltdown:
The boy cheerfully calls out "good morning Daddy. Good morning Mummy" and gets into our bed to watch Tikkabilla while Hubbie gets ready to go to work. 
It's raining outside. 
The cat wanders in miaowing about how horrid the weather is today.

Tamba from Tikkabilla - Cbeebies

4 hours to meltdown:
He has brushed his teeth and his clothes are changed. One piece of toast and marmite eaten another piece of toast with jam to go.
Dora is teaching us about Thanksgiving and he's paying close attention.
I go upstairs to have a shower while he's occupied. 

3 hours to meltdown:
"Do you need the toilet before we go out ?" 
"No Mummy."
"Are you sure ?"
"Ok, but when we've gone out it'll be too late."
One toilet trip later we're on our way out.

2 hours to meltdown:
We pick up a new cot mattress which makes the boy happy as it's folded behind my seat in the car and, "It looks like a tunnel Mummy."

1 hour to meltdown:
As we're near Biggin Hill I take him to look at planes only it's raining so they aren't in the air, but on the ground today. The training instructor offers to take the boy outside to see them, so kitted out in high-vis jackets we wander round and my boy is in his element looking at 2 seater planes. The owner of the flying school shows the boy a vintage Rolls Royce propeller and all the instructors wave us off saying, "See you in a few years for your first flying lesson." 

cessna aircraft in the air

45 mins to meltdown:
I have to drop off some leaflets at Kiddicare so we pop in and he has a play and we go to his favourite toilets. He wants to play some more so we agree he can play for five more minutes and then we have to go. 

5 mins to meltdown:
Time is up and when I call him to leave he runs off pushing a lovely pink buggy. I call him back. 
He leaps head first into a play house with his feet in the air and his trousers at half mast. I pull him out by the feet as another parent watches in horror. 
I carry him out of the shop as he screams at me that he doesn't want to leave.

In the car he yells at full throttle. 
I turn the volume on the car radio up to 35 to drown out the sound of his screams and the noise of my swearing. 
He's hungry, tired and very upset. 
I'm all of the above too and I have to drive us both with the emotions in the car turned up to 11 !!

Everyone deserves great tea 30 mins post meltdown:
He has a mini-screech in the temple because he's hungry and can't get the food inside quickly enough. 
Finally he calms down and eventually smiles and says.
"the food is reaching my tummy Mummy." 
I still haven't eaten yet. 

1 hour post meltdown:
He's in his cot on the new mattress asleep.
For some reason I can't fathom his trousers are on inside out and his pants have been discarded. 
I pop a blanket on him and go downstairs to drink a cup of tea and get something to eat. 

Oh don't you just love rainy days ? 

Nope, me neither.


  1. Luckily you did not feel the impending outbreak in the lead-up.

  2. Replies
    1. thanks Chrissy - they are getting fewer in frequency though for which I'm very grateful :o)

  3. I soo know the feeling. Little Man is stropping about lots at the moment!