Sunday, 6 March 2016

Happy Mothering Sunday

I know people who say that Valentine's Day is a marketing thing and that it's just to encourage people to spend money. Similarly they might view Mothering Sunday as a ploy to part us from our money in the name of familial love. A day when florists and restaurants charge us a premium to treat our mothers. All the while the unspoken question is, why only be nice for one day of the year, etc. etc.

A lot of people were shocked when I told them that I wasn't spending the day with my sons. How could I possibly spend my one day of the year not being spoiled by them ? Well, Hubbie taking the boys to visit Grandma and letting me have the house to myself all day is my idea of 'me time.' Ok, it's far from relaxing - my fitbit has recorded 178 active minutes today, mostly from decluttering the house. However, it also gave me some space to think about certain people.

My Mum: I didn't see her today, but we spoke on the phone. When I went to Uni and left home for the first time we used to talk to each other every day. She would ask me at the end of every call, "Shall I call you tomorrow ?" as if checking that she wasn't being a nuisance. In the second year we spoke every week and by the third year I would call her as and when I remembered. It is only now that I am a mother myself that I realise how much that must have hurt her.

My Naniji: Mum's Mum - she died when Big Boy was being born. As Sikhs we believe in reincarnation and my sister and I often comment that they probably passed each other as he was coming and she was leaving. My beloved grandmother knew I was having a boy and she was delighted. She had been with us on the journey to become parents and knew how much it meant to us.  I like to think she is always watching over my sons. I know she is watching over me. 


Baby Boy's birth Mum: I don't know her, but I do think about how hard it must have been and continues to be for her. Not being with a child and then seeing reminders of how hallowed the status of motherhood is in all TV adverts and on every conceivable form of media. I talk about her being his 'First Mummy' in the hope that one day he will understand. I'm not going to remove her from history, that isn't right. Eventually he might think it's a bit special having a First Mummy and a Forever Mummy. 

Soraya's lovely Mum: So many people will be facing today without their mother for the first time. My gorgeous friend Soraya is one who has been on my mind more than most. The combination of sadness and poignancy in being a Mum who misses her Mum. All the time I've known Soraya she was a carer for her Mother. Even during her own diagnosis and subsequent treatment for cancer she continued to take care of her mother who had advancing dementia. I have never known anyone make as much personal sacrifice while also remaining humble and wonderful. Soraya you really are an inspiration my darling and I know that she is proud of you. 

To all those for whom today is a sad day for whatever reason - I've been thinking of you.

Here's a little something that made me smile - I hope it does the same for you :) 



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