Tuesday 23 December 2014

Does this husband come with a 10 year warranty ?

Mr & Mrs
When I was a single woman I had a list of things that I was hoping to find in my potential partner. It was things like: good kisser, kind, has own teeth and hair, financially solvent. I also had a list of things to avoid: Obsessed with sports, unkind to animals and children, small-minded. Of course when I met Hubbie I was swept off my feet and fell in love so that fact that he's obsessed with sport was more than made up for by his teeth and hair. I can sense he's giving me a hard stare at this point, so I'll also say he has many other positive qualities, yadda yadda yadda.

Of course there are plenty of things that I didn't know would be important:

  • Hubbie always takes the bins out - I can do it, but I don't have to because he does it. 
  • He pretends not to watch 'rubbish' like the Great British Bake Off, but ask him who was in it this year and he will name every participant. And he knows all about 'bingate' !!
  • Our shared capacity to take on anything that life throws at us, whether it's the drama of infertility or the trials and tribulations of adoption.  
  • We don't argue. I do, but Hubbie doesn't so it means any row lasts as long as it takes for me to realise that I'm ranting and he's not participating. Nothing diffuses a situation faster. 
  • We want the best for each other. Before I met him I wanted what was best for me, now I want to make Hubbie and our boy happy.   

What I've also realised over the years is that there are subtle things that you just don't consider when you're planning a life with someone. Things you take for granted until they come up in conversation:

A shared love of movies 

Me: Ooh, Shrek* is on. 
Hubbie: hmm
Me: You've watched Shrek haven't you ? 
Hubbie: Erm, no.
Me: (speechless)

*Shrek could also be replaced with: The Godfather, The Blues Brothers, This is Spinal Tap, The Life of Brian...

Interests in common

Me: Did you enjoy the ice skating ?
Hubbie: er, not not really.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry
Hubbie: I've never really enjoyed it
Me: No worries, you were only there because there weren't any penguins to stop the boy falling over :)

Similar tastes in food 

Me: My Mum made the best homemade chips ever.
Hubbie: I never had them
Me: What ? Your Mum never made them for you ?
Hubbie: No, we always had oven chips.
Me: That is actual child neglect. I have to talk to her about this.

A passion for politics 

Me: I just don't get why you watch Question Time
Hubbie: It's amusing isn't it ?
Me: Not really, hearing people shouting isn't that amusing is it ?
Hubbie: Oh, I don't know. At least they're all in one room.
Me: A very noisy room.

A shared vision of the future 

Me: When we've retired I'd like to travel the world
Hubbie: I'd like to travel to every station on the London Underground
Me: (sigh)

Just as well we don't argue isn't it ?

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