Friday, 15 November 2013

Attachment parenting: I swear by it.

I'm not going to get into it about the Peaches vs Hopkins TV 'debate' on attachment parenting. I didn't follow it and neither woman is a parenting role model I'm about to emulate. I am all for attachment though and was listening to Oliver James talking about lovebombing on Radio 4 yesterday afternoon. As a result today has been spent loafing around and doing as little or as much as my toddler wants to do. You see I like the idea of responding to what my child is interested in, but I'm not about to advocate my skills as a parent above anyone else's. I'm doing my best and I sometimes over-do it or get it wrong. Mostly I am just glad that he's a happy child and that he loves us. 
Baby boy on reins
If anything I've probably been over-attached. I never left my son alone at all when he was first born. I would shower while Hubbie was home either in the evening or stupidly early in the morning. I honestly thought that if I left my baby for longer than it takes to make a cup of tea he was going to roll over (which he'd never done) or stop breathing (he's still here).  Of course I do still check on him - old habits and all that - but now I stay in bed rather than shower at 6am. That's hardly tiger mama behaviour is it ? 

As he's a toddler now I do go and shower and leave him to his own devices (watching telly, creating a 'traffic jam' with his toy cars or playing with the hands free soap dispenser if I've forgotten to put it high up) for around 5-10 minutes. I do have to keep calling every 30 seconds to check he's still in the house though as he can't be trusted not to open the door if someone knocks. Grandma was babysitting on Halloween night and as she is quite hard of hearing he heard the door knock and went to answer it - only to be confronted with two rather terrifying teenage boys in masks. They didn't get any sweets, but the boy got a proper scare !!

The other night Hubbie opened a belated birthday card he'd received that had been sent to the wrong house with the wrong age on it. He affectionately called the sender a nob - supposedly out of earshot of our boy - only for the boy to start saying 'nob, nob, nob, nob' in a sing song voice. I gave Hubbie my 'silly boy' head shake and he responded with, "actually, he may have heard that before in the car driving to football." I suppose it could be worse. I'm not sure how though.
my boy in baseball cap
Up until now my son's idea of bad language has been to point at me and say 'Oh. Dear.' forcefully as that is what he thinks swearing is. We're also working on discouraging the 'toilet talk' which he loves right now. As an example.
Me: "What did you do at nursery today little bear ?"
Toddler: "Bum Bum."
Me: "I don't think you did. What did you have for lunch ?"
Toddler: "Poo Poo."
Me: "Ok that's enough toilet talk for today."
Toddler: "Wee Wee."
Me: <sigh>

I'm not expecting a call from anyone asking me to share my parenting secrets any time soon. I am, however, expecting to be embarrassed by my son's vocabulary some time in the near future. 

When If he calls Santa a Nob Poo Poo I'll look around pretending he's not with me, but that's when all my attachment parenting will come back and bite me in the 'bum bum.'


Peggy O'Mara Quotation

21 comments:

  1. Ahh! I called Papasaurus a prannet the other day, out of love obviously *ahem* and Ozzy piped up to tell me that that's a 'square word' !

    Anything with bum, poo or wee in is just funny, no matter how old you are ;)

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    1. I have to sigh when my boy rolls his eyes at me - he's only 3 dammit !!

      Yeah it's true toilet talk is hilarious, but his nursery do not approve so we're under instructions to discourage it :o(

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  2. It must be a boy thing, mention the word poo and that's my 6 year old on the floor laughing hysterically... :D

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    1. nah - it has the same effect on me and I should definitely know better !

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  3. I say poo and wee all the time, in place of swear words! If something is really bad, my favoured saying around kids is 'that is both poo and wee'. I need to grow up dont i?!

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    1. Oh growing up is so overrated - and the swears are far worse !!

      Poo and Wee are pretty functional so I don't have an objection to them myself, it's only because nursery have an issue with 'toilet talk.'

      Mind you they've also advised against watching Peppa Pig as she's disrespectful to her parents - have they not heard of Roald Dahl ??

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  4. I say if your child only hears the odd swear word and there is no other issue at home to cause him stress... It's not a big deal...
    I NEVER swore around my first 3 kids, but having them as teenagers made me slip now and again... It never ruined any of them.... They are well adjusted, intelligent, successful and wonderful young men!
    I hope you have a great week,
    Tammy

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    1. Thanks Tammy,

      I wish I was able to hold my tongue at times, but I am only human and to be honest if he thinks poo poo is rude that isn't so bad is it ?

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  5. I'm an AP so I know what you mean.My kids are fine so I know I'm not doing badly.I'm awful for letting the odd naughty word slip, not swear words but bugger does get said often :/

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    1. You know Aly in the end it's all language (although I'd rather he didn't show me up of course !)

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  6. Poo and bums is always a topic of conversation whether you say anything in front of them or not I think. I'm an attachment parent too but if I let mine do what they wanted they would just be on the computer all the time.

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    1. Ha ha I'm sure you're right actually. The theory of lovebombing is you give your kids all your attention and let them make choices and after the first few times when they just want toys and tv they eventually settle into wanting time with you and to do fun things. Well, that's the theory anyway. Mine sat in front of the telly pretty much all day when I tried it !

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  7. My little boy is six, and he told me today that he "accidentally" said S**t in earshot of a friend, who then told the teacher. Apparently he was told he would go to the head if she heard that again. Nice that he told me about doing it I suppose. I blame Pink and her explicit lyrics rather than my misplaced words *ahem*

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    1. I know pesky pop music !! I let my boy watch Ghostbusters the other week as he's obsessed with the theme tune, but I had no idea how often they use that word. I was worried he'd start saying it, but he hasn't. So far !

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  8. Awww lol that toilet talk did make me giggle. It's amazing how quick they pick up on the words we don't want them too!

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    1. I know ! It's all a normal part of growing up, but I do get a bit embarrassed by it sometimes. He has a lot of language so when he does it I know he's trying words out and also being cheeky as he knows it's not allowed.

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  9. Ah, the poo and wee references never go away - especially she you have boys

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    1. Thanks Kara, that's very reassuring !

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  10. I must apologise to Aisha from Expatlog whose comment I deleted by mistake (ipad fingers and no tea this morning are to blame !) so I've copied it below:

    It's all about the toilet humour in our house - any other words just don't cut the mustard. I've lost count of the mealtimes where someone's said 'a bathroom word', been told to 'shush' and eat their dinner only for the hilarity to continue unabating via 'looks'. Eyes meet and the giggles gush!

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    1. I think it's genetic as in my family it descends into toilet humour fairly rapidly when all my siblings are together too.
      To be honest I just assumed all families were the same - my in-laws are most certainly not !!

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  11. We are terrible for toilet jokes. I have to say farts make me giggle and I have convinced my children that "mummy's smell of roses whereas daddy's STINK" I know I shouldn't encourage it, but...

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