Sunday, 2 April 2017

The day Blue Bear came to stay - forever.

This morning we're making a special breakfast and then we're going out to spend a nice day at Kenwood House as guests of English Heritage. It's a celebration day for us and we wanted to do something to mark it. You see it's been two years since Blue Bear joined the family and so much has changed in that time. He has grown taller, he can say so many words now, he's officially adopted and has been in pre-school for a year. He has  developed his own friendship group and he adores his big brother. All of these things seemed such a distant dream when he first came to us. At that point this little boy who barely spoke and had just learned to walk was finding his way in our family. Both he and Brown Bear demanded attention from me and were at loggerheads almost constantly during waking hours. It was exhausting.

Brown Bear made these
Our social worker gave me a bit of advice when we were making introdutions to Blue Bear - she told me to write down all the feelings and emotions at the time. "It's going to be so hard to remember everything and you will be glad you did." She was right. Now I read my thoughts from that time and realise how far we have come. Yesterday morning I heard Blue Bear climb into his brother's bed and Brown Bear read him a story. They play and argue and chase each other around. Blue Bear is in awe of his older brother and Brown Bear is so protective of his young protege.

We are now four

So today we will have a special family day during which - inevitably - the boys will bicker, we will all laugh and me and Hubbie will look at our beautiful boys and give thanks for the blessing we have been given in this wonderful family we thought we'd never have.

"Thursday 2nd April 2015:

The big day - we've been so excited about this day for so long. We came to get you and you were happy to see us. It was quite sad saying bye to your carers and Brown Bear drew a picture for them and we gave auntie (foster carer) flowers. There were tears, but me and auntie hugged and wished each other well. She wants the best for you just like we do. When we took  you to the Gurdwara (Sikh temple)  you were very well behaved and we said a prayer to welcome  you to the family and the man gave you a kara (symblic bangle) to wear -you really are one of us now.

When we came home you knew your way around really well and we all ate lunch together. Then you had a nap with Daddy while me and Brown Bear went to the shops. When we got back you enjoyed a snack together and you loved taking hot cross bun from Daddy's plate. You kept making us laugh, you're such a character ! While you and Daddy and Brown Bear had a play I went for a swim. It was nice to relax for a little while.

I got back and you had dinner and we got your bath ready. Both you and Brown Bear were very excited. It was such a splashy noisy bath !! Putting you both to bed was quite tricky. We were so delighted when at 8.17 you were both asleep. We didn't have time to pat ourselves on the back for long though, as on the dot of 9pm you woke up and were inconsolable. We're not sure if you missed your carers or if you just didn't know where you were, but it was quite upsetting seeing you like that. We both carried you around and eventually I drove you around for a while until you were calm. When we got home I was able to sit with you untl you fell asleep. We all went to bed around midnight then you woke up again before 4am. Again you were upset, but with milk, a change and the baby TV app you did settle down. It was sad that you were upset, but I know that with time and patience we will all settle down together and you'll be happy to sleep here in your own bed. Me and Daddy love you very much and want you to be happy with us. We know you can be."

And you know what, he really is.

Here are some thoughts from the one year anniversary.

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