More and more, recently I'm convinced I'm having a nervous breakdown and it's all because of someone who's not even 4 years old yet. When my family jumped at the chance to have my boy over to stay last week I was relieved to have a break from him. Me and Hubbie spent the evening missing him and wondering how this was the first night we'd ever spent at home without him. I was about to pat myself on the back for finding a sanity solution when I phoned to say good morning only to be told he'd head butted someone. Before breakfast.
Sigh. Calm shattered.
In my desperation I burden anyone I meet with my frustration at my toddler:
- The woman who made my free tea at Waitrose: She assured me it won't last and when I said could he come to live with her she smiled kindly. I think that's still a no though.
- One of the women who works at my son's nursery: She suggested I send him to Ju-Jitsu. That's all I need, my violent toddler learning how to hit more accurately !
- My yoga students who have grown up children - and in one case grandchildren: They advised it's a phase. Apparently they're worse later. AARRGGHHH !!!
- I must have been stressed as I even found myself talking to Emma Bunton (you know her off of the Spice Girls) about my errant boy. We're not mates or anything I saw her at an event and she told me her boys were the same and to hang in there. She then said my boy looks gorgeous and to give him a hug from her. I officially love her now :)
|My new best friend :)|
If you are also struggling to work out if you're losing your mind or just a bit tired, I've put together a little quiz like they do in magazines. Not that I read magazines of course, I'm far too busy / stressed / tired for that kind of indulgence ! Anyway, here goes:
1. Do you wake up already exhausted to the sound of, "Mummy, can I brush my teeth ?" "Mummy, can I feed the cat ?" "Mummy, I need the toilet" ?
2. Is it normal for you to feed a least 3 other people/pets before you are fully awake ?
3. Do you regularly eat 'lunch' at 4pm having missed breakfast as well ?
4. Is a lost hat / sock / shoe reason enough for a complete meltdown (yours) ?
5. Do you cry at every single thing featuring babies, dogs or 'inspirational mottos' on facebook or in adverts ?
6. Have you used your child's full name (yes, including middle names) more than once in the last week ?
If you can answer yes to all these questions then rest assured you're probably not having a nervous breakdown, you're just being held captive by a toddler. It does improve, apparently, but I can't tell you when.
He's asleep on the sofa at the moment, so I'm going to tiptoe to the kitchen and make some tea.
Wish me luck !