Sunday, 15 June 2014

For Hubbie, on Fathers' Day

It's Father's Day this weekend so we've had the usual bombardment of advertising persuading us to buy sarcastic cards and silly, but fun gifts for Dads. One article I read this week asked if we are disrespectful of fathers and their place in society. It is a stark contrast with Mother's Day if you consider the fluffiness factor of the cards, flowers, chocolates and the suggested gifts for Mums. We are encouraged to thank them and to spoil them on their special day. With Fathers we're enticed to make them laugh or send them to jump out of a plane.

To be honest I've never made a big deal about Father's Day for my own Dad. Whereas I'll take my Mum out for pampering or a nice lunch the most I'll do for my Dad is a card and maybe a pair of socks. Hubbie is about the same so while we take Mother-in-law out for lunch Father-in-law gets a card and a phone call to wish him a nice day on the golf course. It's not like our Dads even want the fuss so we're not exactly being nasty, it's just how it's always been really.

Hubbie protecting our boy from a snake
In my case I'm careful not to pick a card that thanks him for all he's done for me (not a great deal) or professing my love for him (that would just be embarrassing). You see our Dads were at their parenting peak when it was still considered the main role of a Father to be the breadwinner and the 'man of the house.' That was not a role that my Father was able or willing to occupy. He was there, I'll give him that, but he wasn't a willing or particularly pleasant Father to me or my brother. He's fine as a Grandfather and that is why he is still in my life.

The role of a Father is very different now and our expectations of what a Father can do are much higher. It is considered remiss if a man isn't there for the birth of his child or if he's not prepared to change or feed his child. In the same way that Mothers are always in the spotlight and being judged, so are Fathers. Yet the day that is supposed to be set aside to thank them is almost considered a joke. Mother's day is one of the busiest in the year for florists. There is no equivalent for Father's Day.

Daddy is almost as tall as the Gruffalo !
We do make a fuss of Hubbie on Father's Day. Maybe because it was such a big deal for us to become parents in the first place, but mostly because he's a great Dad. Just as they make big deal about me I like to do the same for him and it's a long way to his birthday so it's nice to have an excuse to spoil him for a change.

Hubbie works a long day and comes home in time to do bedtime every evening. The only time he isn't is if there is a gig or a midweek football match that he wants to go to, but that's pretty rare actually so when he does want to go it would be churlish to deny him the occasional night out.

Since the boy was a few weeks old they have had 'Daddy Day' every Saturday of the football season. They have a boys' day out and I have the day to myself. Whether I use it to clean the house or to meet up with friends it's been a blessing.

He never complains about the house, my appearance, the food I prepare or anything really. Not that he ever did before, but whoever said that giving a man a baby means you're off the hook forever was pretty much right. He comes home and me, the boy and the cat are all ok and that makes his day.

So today we're doing things that make Hubbie happy; going swimming, taking him for brunch, getting out the barbecue that he loves so much and generally spoiling him in between all of these activities.

He deserves it :)
My boys :)

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